Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: refinish

Back To School Homework Table

Today I’m joining in series of Blog With Friends theme collaborations. Each month a group of bloggers get together and each publish a project based on a theme. In any given month there may have a recipe, sewing tutorial, crafts projects, book review and/or a technology post all related to the theme of the month. Links to all those participating are at the bottom of this post! Thanks to Karen of Baking in a Tornado for all she does with these collaborations!!

BLog With Friends
At the bottom are links to all the posts other have prepared. Enjoy! Here goes……

“Why did you refinish my firewood???” Dr. Evil texted me when he found our kitchen table in the garage.

This table. This poor old table has seen much better days. We bought it 12 years ago somewhat on a whim (us, implusive? no….never). It is made of solid pine. Did you know solid pine is solid, heavy, and SOFT? Within 45 minutes of owning this table it had it’s first ownership mark. Eldest chewed on the leg and it made marks. Awesome, right?

Over the years, the table has become more tired and abused. Nail polish, Easter egg dye, carvings by children and pumpkin knives have left their marks. And two weeks ago, the table was nearly replaced. We went looking for a new set of couches and found a table. Given our impulsive shopping methods I purposely left my wallet at home. We found a table that was wonderful however given we NEED a new mattress, our couches are older than three of the kids and smell like dog, and our carpet has been chewed on by dogs, a table is fourth (at least) on the list.

Dr. Evil went on travel. I hatched a plan. I had the Bigs help me get the table out of the house and into the garage. Off to the Home Depot I went and bought some basic supplies. Sand paper of two different grits, clear poly, and staining pads.

For two nights I sanded. Not much pressure was required. Sanding with the grain and in even strokes was my goal.  I started the varnish. Even strokes with the grain across the entire surface for each stroke. Some trial and error showed me stopping half way across the table left streaks and air bubbles in the varnish. After three coats I used a super fine grit sand paper to rid the table of any streaks. Three more coats of poly and …. TA DAH! My kids now have a place to do homework and will no longer get splinters while they study!!



I saved us $970. The table we were looking at was $1000.  My supplies were only $30. (I already owned the hand held sander.)

Here are the other amazing participants!

Baking in a Tornado

Someone Else’s Genius

Cluttered Genius

Stacy Sews and Schools

Home on Deranged

The Lieber Family

Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

Evil Epic Messes…..

Evil Joy here with a post on the Evil Disaster occurring as I type in my lair.  Evil Epic Disasters created by yours truly, Evil Joy.  Evil Epic Disasters resulting from rearranging, purging, and moving stuff around the lair.

So…it all started because I became Evil Joy.  As Mom, I was upstairs one afternoon.  Reeling from the amount of Evil Destruction present after spending several hours the previous day cleaning.  Evil Joy came charging in and took over from Mom.


“THAT IS IT!  ALL TOYS ARE DOWN-DOWN STAIRS!!  (Down Down stairs means our basement.)

Two Littlest Spawn thought this was a stellar idea!  In their heads this meant Mom cleaned their room.

Ummm. No.  Get your butts in here and help me move all the toys down-down stairs.  Second Youngest Female Spawn buckled down and got to work.  For about 3 seconds.  Littlest Spawn – she just tried to order me around.  Listen here Little One – let me teach you the ways of my world…in which you live….get up and help now!!

A large mess was created in the hallway as I pitched out things going to down-down stairs or junk just not belonging in their room – such as my blowdryer….Strange Spawn I have…..  All Spawn were my slave labor – up and down the stairs at my command…bawhahaha.

Then…the next task.  Moving their bunk beds.  The bunk beds can only live in one of two locations in their room – only two walls are big enough or lack windows, doorways, or closets.  About every other second, the Spawn want their bunk bed moved.  DId I mention it’s Evil Heavy.  And an Evil Pain In The Butt to move.  But…being the Evil Awesome Mom I am, I moved the bunk bed….all by myself.  And their bookshelf.  And a desk.

Then Awesome Neighbor B came over.  I told her my plans to move the PC down-down stairs, along with the large desk it sits on.  And then…

Move the Evil Upright Grand Piano

into the desk’s previous home.  Around the corner in a different room.  On hardwood floors.

Awesome Neighbor B and I took the PC apart, desk drawers out and carried that Evil Bad Boy down the stairs.  And then we moved the

Evil Upright Grand Piano

around a corner, over hardwood, onto carpet into the proper spot.

aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh – that’s me – showing my muscles while making a pirate noise to indicate how strong I am!  P90X and I are friends!!  (stop laughing – or don’t – I laugh at myself all the time – join my party!)


So….Sunday is Evil Finish Up Mess Day.  We are going to lock ourselves in the house until all projects (yeah – right) are complete.  (You may notice there is not a piano bench – I started refinishing it – stripping off the paint…..three years ago – it’s still in the garage – maybe it’ll get done on Sunday too…ummmm….)

Evil Upright Grand Piano – haha – I showed you – now I just need to learn how to play you.

Spawn of the Female assortment – keep your room tidy.  I am not kidding.

Down-Down Stairs – prepare to be rearranged, cleaned, rearranged again, hooked up, and purged.  All in a single day.  Wow – I’d be scared if I were down-down stairs.

EJ – out – to go to Sam’s Club to stock concessions…again….

Throw some Evil Love my way by clicking on the Top Mommy Blogs icon on the upper right.  One click.  That’s it.  All you have to do.  No babysitting or toilet cleaning involved – just one click.  Come on now…you can do it!  🙂

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