Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: rule breaking

All Around Alliteration…..

This post is not for the faint of heart, the pure of ears, the virgin eyes, or those who don’t like bad words.

There.  That is the disclaimer.  In other words, I’m going to swear and say stuff I don’t normally say.  So if you are offended by bad words, please read another post of mine and skip this one.  I don’t want to offend you.  So…at this point if you continue to read, it’s your own fault.

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last chance…..

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Okay.  Evil Joy here with a post on All Around Alliteration.

Cathartic.  Cathartic is a great word.  Last night while chatting with a friend about a stressful situation we talked about unfriending people on Facebook….stalkerish people, mean people……Cathartic C*nt came up as a fun alliteration…..and my dear sweet friend said, “oh…the c word.”  And I said, ” you mean c*nt c*nt c*nt?’

Her response, “Yes, you ho.  I meant c*nt.”

(Okay – I’m even having a hard time typing this….and when I was texting there was no *)

 

Then…..

  • All Around A$$hole came up.
  • Beastly Bastard.
  • I’ve already written out c…..
  • D – Dickward Dumba$$.
  • E – we struggled with E….
  • F- well, let’s just stop here…and say this game was fun.

 

It was Cathartic.  I needed to let off steam.  It worked wonders.

 

Now before I get slammed for writing this – I am a good person.  I blog as Evil Joy.  I’m not Evil.  I don’t walk around swearing like the sailors I used to train in my life before kids.  I go to church – sometimes.  My spawn are really truly good kids.  I have friends – AMAZING friends.  I’m a good friend to people.  However, I’m human.

It’s okay to have a little fun – it’s okay to play outside the box – color outside the lines – cross all the imaginary boundaries.

EJ out – to find some rule to break today.

 

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Rules and Evil Joy’s Evil Rule Following….

Evil Joy here with a post on rules.  Following all said rules to the point of insanity.

See, I’m a rule follower.  I am The Rule Follower.  The Evil Rule Follower.  Do you understand I follow the rules?

Even more important – I HATE breaking rules.  I don’t like getting in trouble.  I don’t like rocking the boat.  I don’t like knowing I could get in trouble.  With anyone.  Ever.  Never Ever.  Never never ever.

 

I’m learning to step over the Evil Line once in a while – especially since becoming Evil Joy.  But I digress….here’s a story to illustrate how crazy I am about following rules.

 

The year….sometime before 1996 – before Evil Joy was spawned and even before Dr. Evil and Evil Joy were married.  I think it was 1995…..maybe…I don’t know.

The place….San Francisco California. Specifically – the area of the Golden Gate Bridge.

The scene….I’m visiting Dr. Evil while he co-ops for Dow Chemical out in California.  He takes me out to show me the sites.  The Golden Gate Bridge is one I really want to visit again – I was there the summer I met him and that seems so perfect in my young sweet mind.  Now we can visit it together!  I saw it right before I met you and now we’re here together…aaahhhhhh (no gagging allowed – this is my story).

Parking was horrendous.  Terrible.  Finally Dr. Evil parked his little red Chevy in an ILLEGAL spot…along with 3,000 other people.

I was sick.  I was so worried we were going to be towed.  And it would cost money.  And it would result in a ticket.  Which would affect his already sky high insurance rates.  And since we were getting married would make OUR rates even higher.  Plus we’d get in trouble.  TROUBLE!?  EVIL TROUBLE.  I don’t like getting in trouble.

I hardly enjoyed the Bridge.  I was constantly looking at the car.  Trying to see the car.  Did it get towed?  Did it get stolen?  Did it get smashed?  Any tickets?  What if there’s a ticket?

Then I saw the lights…the flashing lights.

I was SURE we were going to get towed.  And ticketed.  And thrown in jail.  Forever.  And sentenced to all eternity in Hell.  HELL people.  Hell.

So we decided (or in other words, Dr. Evil was sick of my crazy worrying) to head back to the car.

Which was FINE.

No ticket.

No eternal damnation at this time.

 

Yeah…so I’m a rule follower.  To an Evil Fault.

What about you – do you follow the Evil Rules or are you an Evil Rule Breaker?

 

EJ out – to find a rule to break to live outside my Evil Rule Following Straight 90 Degreed Edged Box.

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