I suck at slowing down. It’s hard for me to move at a speed less than mach crazy mom speed. This week I have to sit back a bit, left the world rush by, and ask for help … a lot.
I had a minor surgery Friday. It was almost outpatient but I couldn’t handle the nausea so they kept me overnight to manage it. I fully expected to be back at full speed today – Monday. I know .. I know….
My legs needed a break but my brain needed a run. Obviously…….. I went for a run.
There were goosebumps on my arms and I was shivering just a touch as I began the walk to the highway where I start. I was working hard on my psyching myself out. I knew my legs were tired and I was running on empty. I also knew my mind was so restless I wouldn’t be able to function all day if I didn’t do this thing for myself…..this run.
I started out. And was immediately met by traffic – it’s a two lane highway – I was heading up a hill – and trucks were coming from each directions. I popped off into the ditch as is frequently required….and I noticed the horses on the road watching me. I don’t stop the first mile of any run – I haven’t for a long time. I run in the ditch as long as necessary and hop back onto the road as soon as possible
Not today. The horses were so peaceful and beautiful. One of the horses just stared at me while the others munched on the grass. I found myself admiring them.
I snapped some pictures. Then I looked down the road and saw the gently rolling hills ahead. Normally hills make me cringe. I don’t look at upcoming inclines and focus only on what is in front of me. But today I saw the hills and reminded myself I’ve run these hills countless times and today I’d just do what I could.
Then the song “Talking is Hard” by Walk the Moon started playing. “I know everyone you know. You know everyone I know. A Venn diagram is one circle.” I smiled. My awful run and my happy take on it made a new Venn diagram – a diagram with only one circle!
I had one of the worst runs on this route ever – but only time wise. Every other aspect of this run was amazing. I saw horses, fields being worked by hand, seas of dandelions, and the positive of doing something good for my body and mind. For the first time ever I enjoyed an awful run. I found my happy every step.