Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: support

MILFs and other fun topics

If the title if this post didn’t warn you, this post is intended for a mature audience. Or rather an audience over the age of 16. I just chose a random age. It’s meant for grown ups. Don’t read it with your children.

Get it? Got it? Good. Now on with it.

The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

All right stop, Collaborate and listen
MILFs are back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
MILFs with a breast pump daily and nightly
Will they ever stop? Yo – I don’t know
Turn off the pump The MILFs will blow
To the extreme MILFs rock a babe like a pro.
Light up a room and milk a boob like a pro.

A group of women got together last Friday. We had laughs. We had wine. Lots of wine.

We decided that we as women needed to celebrate ourselves. We started by going around the table and stating things we are good at.

“I’m a good friend.”
“I’m good at cleaning.”
“I’m getting better at taking care of myself so I can be a MILF.”


The conversation continued and the wine flowed like a river ….at least for me. I kept adding to my glass as did a new friend. Pinot Grigio. Or as I taught the ladies …. Greasy Penis. (My friend Snarkfest shared that with me. Easy way to remember when sending someone else out shopping for your wine. )

After we all made our way home and had a great night’s sleep the conversation continued via group text.

Here’s the list of hashtags we came up with :

Tonight was wonderful, awful, hard and beautiful.
The things we dealt with didn’t define us tonight. We just were friends drinking wine.

We were just women.
Laughing together.
Supporting each other.


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Catch For A Cure 2013

Awesome Amy never ceases to amaze me with her awesomeness.

Three years ago, she invited me to play in the Catch for a Cure slow pitch softball tournament in Baraboo, Wisconsin.  It’s a fundraiser for the support of breast cancer patients and survivors.  And awareness-raiser for everyone else.  And everyone else that isn’t included in the previous sentence.

So three years ago I sucked.  I’m not being self deprecating……I really sort of suck at ball.  I can throw a little, but that’s about it.

Two years ago I sucked slightly less, but not much.

This year – the 10th Anniversary of Catch for a Cure – I still sucked but I pitched a bit because it’s one of the things I was able to do somewhat proficiently.  Then I got tired and really sucked again.  Like bad.  Like 3 feet outside the strike zone and well below the arc limit.  Multiple times.  So…another wonderful woman pitched and she rocked it way more than I could ever dream of it.  But she got tired.  So I pitched a few more times and then took a ball to the gut (I have this cool round bruise that shows the laces.  Never been thankful for my flubber before, but man – I am so thankful for my flubber).  So she had to be un-tired.

There were some moments of ‘grrrrrr’ and some moments of ‘yeeesss!’ but mostly there were times of thinking about why we were there.  Fighting for the woman dealing with the fight FOR their LIVES.  Fighting so the next generations don’t have to fight.  Fighting so no more are lost to cancer….any kind of cancer.  The words I have to call cancer I can’t even type.  They are bad, bad words.  I hate cancer.   HATE IT!  (and I don’t hate much of anything….)

It’s humbling to play to support these women – their families.  It’s humbling to be included in a such an amazing event.

Awesome Amy, Fighting DD Deb, and I will be back.  In 359 days.

But who’s counting?

Additional information about Catch for a Cure (Baraboo, Wisconsin).

From their Facebook page….

“Catch for a Cure is a Womens over 30 softball tournament, hosted on Labor Day weekend, Annually, at Pierce Park, in Baraboo WI
Mission : To FIND A CURE! Empower women, comfort local and distant family’s affected by cancer, help those in need. All of our proceeds are returned right back into the Baraboo and surrounding communities. Our proceeds are dispersed through local support groups that not only fund for Breast Cancer Research but help the lives of those that have been effected by Breast Cancer.The Catch for a Cure was founded in memory of a local Baraboo mother who passed away on mother’s day due to complications of Breast Cancer. From that point on, we knew that there needed to be something done. We need to find a CURE!”


For more information on Catch for a Cure check out their info here.

Support Kelly

Hi Friends.


Through a wonderful woman I’ve come to know through blogging I learned and am moved to help Kelly.  Please read more about how the Queen met her and why this is important to her.  And therefore to me.

I’m posting the link to her page/post below.  Also including the post itself.  Please take the time to read it.  And then head over to Facebook and like Kelly Hammond Martin – Support Kelly in the FIGHT for HER LIFE.


The Queen of WTF?

Reposted with Permission from the Queen herself.

Helping Kelly,, the How and Why of it!

Years ago we stumbled (or we fell out of the bar and landed on her, can’t remember) a wonderful blogger named  MOMMY’S KICKING CANCER’S ASS.    Because she did not call the cops when one of our hookers grabbed her favorite pair of shoes and tried them on, we adopted her.  She became our House Mom.  We’ve loved her from day one.

Well, as you can tell from the name, she’s in a battle for her life.  She has been for a very long time.  She is still fighting with all she has, but she’s also to the point instead of making it about cancer, it’s about making memories and showing love.  We’re all about showing love.  We wanted to show her some love.

So, ,we decided to do a fund raiser for her.  It will be in July.  It will be an online THIRTY ONE party.  We have found one of the best reps in the business when it comes to fund raising.  Because she loves Kelly as much as we do, she’s not only working day and night on this project, she’s donating to it also.  How freaking cool is that shit?

We have set up a fan page for this project.  Even if you don’t plan on buying, could ya like her fan page and pass the project on to others?  That would be super.. thanks.. Dutchess, make a note that we need to stick a couple extra doobies in their Christmas stocking this year.

Now, for those of you that are just sobering up   tuning in and have not had your first  hit of the day cup of coffee, let me explain what Thirty One is.

It’s like the coolest thing since the filter free self absorbing doobie was invented..

Here is just a small taste of my collection.

Think you don’t need this stuff?  Hey I felt that way too.  Dutchess sent me out on a hunt for “brownie mix” one day.  I went down to our local Farmer’s Market to see if I could score some good stuff.  A lady there was selling this stuff.   I rolled my eyes and moved on..  Then, someone I’m close to started selling it and I helped her out by hosting a party.. INSTANT ADDICTION.. the quality and versatility of this product makes it so easy to love.  The fact that the company stands behind each product makes it win win.

My favorite product of all is the one we call the diaper bag.. not what they call it, but we own hookers.. it’s what we call it..   You will see I have a pink one and a purple one.  I keep my knitting in the pink one, and the purple one is always packed with stuff to take on a road trip with OC.

The green one (there is a matching empty pink one in the front).  That is the one I keep all the bug spray, spf sun screen and hand wipes in.  It’s always ready to load and go at a moments notice.

The two bags in the back (one is tan one is purple) are the retro metro weekenders.  I keep ONE packed at all times for over night stays at the Majors and I keep the tan one packed at all times for an emergency long distance, stay awhile bag.   Both of these serve double duty as they are stored in my tornado closet.  Not only extra protection if we are hit, but there is everything i need for a few days in there with me.

The Large utility tote in the back ( I own two) holds 30 extra large rolls of toilet paper.  Again, it stores in the tornado closet.. extra padding.. and let’s face it.. if I ever get hit by a tornado.. I’m gonna crap my pants.. win win on the large utility tote..  The second one I use as a laundry bag since they have lids, and I walk across the street to do laundry.  Don’t want my unmentionables flying all over main street.

The pink square totes (again i have two) are always in the closet on the floor.  I use them for a lot of things but at this point one has the swim gear in it and the other has my winter shoes in it.

Now, let’s talk purses and the Cindy Tote.  Hell yay.. the Cindy tote has become my favorite.  I can put my Kindle, Kindle fire and aspire computer and all their attachments in the original ( no longer made) cosmetic bag.  I like doing that because the attachments have little plastic attached bags inside.. and then slip that in the Cindy Tote.  Then there is still room for my purse, my phone, and a zipper pocket where I can keep my arm brace, my meds, and two packs of cigs.   I love the Cindy Tote..

If you hit up the fan page later, you will be seeing a lot of pictures of this stuff in use.

Again, it’s a fund raiser.. so dip into the beer, gin, doobie, brownie, vodka,  stash and grab you a piece of this.  if you can’t do that (hard times right now)  please please please  promote this effort to help make a difference in our favorite Warriors life, and the lives of her husband and kids.

Smooches from Oz…SMILEY CHICKEN

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