Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: tree

The Tree That Shed….

This year we had the tree that shed….all of its needles.

Our family tradition has been to drive to a local, nearby tree farm, cut down a tree, and drive it home. Drag it inside, set up it, and by then my family is over helping with the “experience.” Asking, pleading, and prodding ensues in order to get the lights and ornaments on the tree.

This year amidst the hustle and bustle we decided to stop at a big store and buy a precut tree. After a movie we walked among the cut trees.  They looked fine. They looked okay. The two Littles gravitated towards a particular type and we chose one they were in love with.

At the tree farm, the employees tie the tree to your vehicle. At this place, WE tied the tree to the truck. And it was comical and took about 15 minutes to make sure it was secure and wasn’t going to fly off and cause a Griswald kind of Christmas experience. We got it done and headed home.

I noticed immediately the tree wasn’t “shaken” as they do at the tree farm. A few more needles than we were used to fell as we set up the tree and let it sit for a bit to settle…and to make sure it wasn’t going to fall over. Our stand is a little …. lacking.

Success. Onto adding lights, ornaments, tree skirt, and train underneath…because we’re all cute like that.

It started slowly. The needles fell in small waves.

Check out this video I took of the noise it makes…. Stick with the video to the end…….

And by the time we got back from Bridger Bowl, the sad tree looked like this…..droopy and forlorn.

After we removed the lights…..it became the epitome of sadness.

And the death zone of danger was created for anyone not wearing shoes.  Note my carpet is beige.


Next year we shall get our family fresh cut tree from the tree farm.



Tree – Axe.

This is the story of a tree.  Of a man, a woman, and a spawn.  And an axe.

Once upon a time, farm land was turned into lots.  At the corner of each lot, ash trees were planted.  The trees grew.  Houses were built and turned into homes.  The trees continued to grow.

Until one spring, the spawnily noticed the tree didn’t bloom.  No leaves grew.  But it had been a harsh winter and an equally tough spring.  Towards summer the very tips of the tree sprouted leaves.  Our hope was renewed.

Another harsh winter followed by a bi-polar spring.

It was official.  The tree was dead.

And there is stood.  Baseball, t-ball, softball, and all the activities of a busy family prevented its removal.  Until….

One night at dinner Eldest Spawn threatened (jokingly, of course) to throw Littlest Spawn in the pool.  I gathered my forces and declared if he did that, Dr. Evil and I would throw Eldest Spawn in the pool.  After a game of tag/catch/tackle in which Eldest Spawn prevailed, we all got a wild hair.

“Let’s use the axe.  And cut down that dead tree.” said Dr. Evil.

And so we did.


It was so fun – weird – I know – but so very fun!   Then a neighbor we don’t know walked by – a couple with their two strollers – and I realized we must look like that weird family from the other side of the sticks……I made some flip comment (me….do that?….never!) …. and awesome neighbor  said, “I think it looks like a blast!”


The tree still needs to be cut into pieces and burned.  This week…Dr. Evil….this week this will happen or I’ll rent a chain saw and do it myself and have ALL the fun!!!!


EJ out – to go work out.

I’m starting LeanMoms.com today.  Check it out.  I’m an affiliate site as well so if you’re interested, check out the link on my page!


Take a minute to help a working-out girl out – click on the juggling lade up there in the corner.  You know the drill.  Once a day.  Every day.  Thanks!!!!

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