Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

6:42 am …. the School Bus is here?!?! ….

Evil Joy here with a non-caffeinated post.  Today’s focus : early bus time for 11 year olds (and 12 and 13 year olds).  And the fact that it interferes with my morning caffeine if I happen to get up a few minutes late…..

What the heck?  6:42 am.  5 days a week.  Noah has to be up and ready to board the School Bus at 6:43.  He leaves the front door at … 6:42 …. and hustles out to the end of the street to get on the bus.  Mind you, the end of the street is like a quarter mile away.  Occasionally I hear “Oh crap!” followed by running feet as the bus has made said approach a few minutes early – in which case Evil Joy screeches “Hurry it up – don’t miss the bus – I can’t take you today!”

In elementary school the spawn get on the bus slightly after 8am.  They go to bed early.  The get up early.

By middle school the eldest spawn would like to stay up and hang out a bit – exercise the right of being the oldest.  However, as he needs a lot of sleep to not join the Evil ranks, Evil Joy makes him go to bed at an unreasonably early time … namely the same time as his 4 year old sister (and 6 and 9 year old sisters).  “Totally not fair!” responds the spawn.

And you know what, Evil Joy agrees.  He should get to stay up a little later.  He is, after all, the Big Kid in the family.

However non-caffeinated morning Evil Joy does reassess the situation anytime Nice Mom Joy lets said spawn stay up late.  Said spawn is definitely going to join the Evil ranks if his lack of sleep continues.

The fact my children get up at the butt-crack of dawn is really a fact to be taken into account.  Having to wake Noah up at 6:20 is a nearly unheard of thing … until about 2 weeks ago.  We used to pay Eldest Spawn to stay in bed until 6am – if he could do it 5 days in a row he received a $1.  Over the course of a year I think he earned a whooping …. $3.00.

So early bus time – go suck a tree.  Quit interfering with my morning caffeine.  Evil Joy must be suppressed in the morning as little spawn go off to school.  We can’t have little spawn feeling like little evil spawn on their bus now can we?!?!

Evil Joy out – go find that sweet nectar of life called Diet Coke.


  1. $3.00. lol. I want my two dollars!

  2. You make me laugh! Evil Joy vs. Good Mom Joy a great way to describe the dance of motherhood. Keep on writing, Joy! Can’t wait to see how your blog develops with time. If you nurture it a tiny fraction of how you nurture your family it will gain many more followers and commenters.

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