Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

A Drop Off Reminder

There have been numerous posts about the drop off lane at schools in the past few years.  You can read one of my favorites Here.

However, I feel it is time for a reminder.

The EVIL JOY 7 Commandments for Dropping Your Spawn at School

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1.  Thou shall wait calmly in line and not shoot ahead.  Parallel parking while a line is moving prohibits said line from moving.

2.  Thou shall have spawn ready to exit car.  Seat belts shall remain in place until vehicle has come to a complete stop.  However, hats, mitts, coats, boots, shoes, and other auxiliary pieces shall be attached to spawn so they may exit the vehicle efficiently.

3. Thou shall say “Goodbye’s” and “Love You’s” from your seat while remaining seat-belted in.

4.  Thou shall pull over, put car in park, unlock doors, and instruct spawn to exit vehicle on SCHOOL SIDE OF VEHICLE.  Thou shalt not allow spawn to exit on traffic side of vehicle.

5.  Thou shall remain seat-belted in and see spawn safely away from vehicle.

6.  Thou shall move with traffic as thoust line leaves exiting area.

7.  Thou shalt not disobey the previous six Commandments.

If thou must break one of the Commandments thou must either:

a.  Pull far enough ahead so as to not inhibit forward motion of rule following drivers who are not breaking said Commandments.

b.  Park.  For the Love of Pete.  Park and walk your spawn into the building.  Get the hell out of the way and park.  Just do it.  If you have to get out of your car and help your six spawn get their backpacks, mittens, hats and cellos on, move.  Get out of the way.

As a parent who drives spawn to school at least once a week, I know I fall into the category of Commandment breaker so I pull super far ahead out of the way and let my spawn get her cello out of the back of my truck.

The stress created by drop off and pick up is the MAIN reason I make my spawn ride the bus most days.   Other reason include….they have a bus stop, why not use it…and I don’t want to drive you to school because I have other stuff to do….and I don’t want to.

If we all just love each other and follow the above Commandments our world would be so much more peaceful.

So….Give Peace a Chance.  And Follow Evil Joy’s Commandments.

Or Else.  I’ll go Evil on your Arse.

EJ out – to get ready to employ my own Commandments.

An addendum to the above Commandments:  Please vote for Evil Joy Speaks at Top Mommy Blogs.  You just click on the juggling lady up there on the right.  Thanks!

11 Comments

  1. How about this one:

    Children: Thou SHALT make the bus. Thou shalt NO make thine mother have to drive thou to school. Thou shalt get up in the morning when thine mother awakens thee and thou SHALT GET ON THINE BUS.

  2. Thank God for school buses. 🙂

    • Right!!! I used to drive my Eldest to school all the time but then there were more spawn born. Then I used to walk him to the bus stop all the time. And meet him at the bus when it arrived home. Yeah…more spawn. Now….I just look and make sure no one is left behind in the ditch and count spawn that walk in my door after school! Ahhhh…I love being a more experienced parent!

  3. There is some guy in our line. He is ALWAYS first in line. So CLEARLY he gets there early enough to be first in line. But school rule is no drop-offs before 8:40 am. So he has to sit and wait the longest of all of us. And as soon as 8:40 hits, he turns his car off. Gets out of the car. Goes around to the passenger side, opens the door for his kid, helps the kid out, gets backpack all situated just right on kids back, checks for hat, gloves, etc, shuts the car door, WALKS HIS KID TO THE SCHOOL, and then goes to get back in the car, situation himself, turn the car back on, and pulls out like a bat out of hell like he is late for a meeting.
    Baffles me EVERY time I am early enough to see it happen.

    Then there are the people who are car #3 (we can fit about 5 cars in the line letting kids out at the same time) but they are just too far away for their precious to get out and walk that far so they wait until car 1 and 2 (and incidentally, 4 and 5) have unloaded before they pull all the way up to the 1 position and THEN let their kid out. So whomever is stuck in car 4 & 5 spot get to wait AGAIN for these jackasses to do what they should have done 5 minutes ago.

    • Yesterday there was a super fancy car parked. I didn’t realize there was no driver in the car so I pulled in pretty close so people could get there behind me. Then I see no driver. And I’m trapped. GGGRRRRRRR. Right next to the no parking fire line sign.

      I don’t understand the rules don’t apply to some people!

      Good luck!

  4. YES!! Although I don’t drive them anymore, the Drop Off Commandment Offenders used to drive me batshit crazy!! It’s not rocket science!

  5. My beef with this school drop off is…..why can’t the parents drop the kids at the curb and leave. It seems to me we are raising a bunch of spoiled kids. Nobody wants their kids to walk to far. It seems to me that there is a pretty long curb there, more then one car can let a kid out at a time. I’ve had this problem with EP Rock, Middle School and High School.

    Joy, keep up the good work.

    Jolene

    • Jolene! Even when I would chat at you at drop off we were efficient! Never kept anyone waiting! And I agree – get your butts out of the car and walk the 25 feet to the door. Yes it’s cold, but you’re going to choose to go out and run around in the cold at recess in about an hour so you can walk in!

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