So I’m linking up at Theme Thursday. I seem to mess this up every time I do this and forget to do what I’m suppose to. (I’m sorry!!!) Here’s the link to Theme Thursday. Go check out what others are saying about this week’s theme : Advice Thanks to Something Clever 2.0 for doing this!!!
I love when I go out with my Littlest Spawn. She’s a doll face .. except when she’s not. Then she’s the devil incarnate. She can scream and carry on with the best of them. In the last year, this has subsided considerably but on occasion it still happens.
My favorite situation is when she is having a hard time with a new environment and I’m past dealing with it. I’m more of the tough love kinda mama – not the cuddling type. At all. Ever. (Sorry Spawn – suck it up – that’s the way it goes – not everyone wins – you’re fine – get over it)
In walks chic mom in her heels, skinny jeans, with her six month old baby dressed in the latest Gap line head to toe. Who proceeds to give me advice. For a child who is 4.5 years older than her first baby. Advice she read in a book. And her friend told her about. And she saw on Oprah or Dr. Phil.
Yeah. Bite me.
Depending on my mood, one of three things happens:
Mood 1 : Happy and Well Rested
Thanks. I’m sure it’ll get better. Have a great day.
Mood 2 : Normal Evil Joy – Tired, Slightly Frazzled, Running 17 Different Directions
Yeah, I know…my older THREE went through this stage too. Later.
Mood 3 : Exhausted, Dr. Evil on Travel, Other Spawn Acting Up at Home, Last Thin Thread of Sanity Broken by This Woman
Look. I appreciate you trying to give advice for a child you have no idea about. Obviously the books you’ve read have made you think you’re prepared. You’re not. Just wait. Wait until she can talk and walk and run away from you and pull over a display in the store. Wait until she doesn’t like you. I have THREE OLDER CHILDREN. I’ve done this shit before. Yeah – I swore – your baby can’t talk yet and I could say shit over and over again and it will not affect her because she’ll never ever see me again. And yes, close your open jaw, I swore in front of my five-year old who knows better than to repeat it at all. I was just like you lady – thought I had it all in the bag. I don’t. At least I’m smart and experienced enough to KNOW I WILL ALWAYS HAVE A LOT TO LEARN. Good Day.
Yeah – Mood 3 – not one of my finer moments. Thankfully I was in a different town and will most likely never see this woman again. God, I hope not.
So I try hard to not give advice unless asked. Even then I tread cautiously. Are they really asking for advice or do they want reassurance everyone is as confused and clueless as the next parent. None of our spawn came with manuals. None of our spawn are alike. Some advice is great …. but sometimes …. for the love of Pete …. bite your tongue.
Except – okay – the one and only time I don’t hold back is if I notice your spawn’s eyes aren’t properly aligned. Eldest Spawn has strabismus and amblyopia caught at age 2. He’s been patched, had and still has bifocals, and wears glasses to correct his alignment and vision. If not caught early enough the damage caused can be more severe. So…that’s the one time I know I’ve crossed the line….but if it helps just one kid……
EJ out – to drive in the Mother Loving Snow to see a visiting friend!!!!!
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(graphic sources : pinterest.com, casaazuldelaribera.es)