Lately I’ve seen a number of open letters out there…Here’s mine.
Dear Mother Nature,
I would like to ask you personally what we, those of us living in Wisconsin, have ever done to YOU?
Spring and fall are savored here in the mid-west. Summers are short, but hot and HUMID. (We could do with a bit less humidity, m’kay?)
Winter….winter is just long. And cold. And windy. And snowy. So when spring comes we prepare ourselves for mucky ground but long for the days when we can pick up the dog crap from under the snow. Long for the days when the sand from the plows can be swept up and new mini-sand boxes are created in all neighborhoods. Long for the days of muddy snow pants and nasty boot tracks in the house.
Last weekend, I know…I know…. I got cocky. We cleaned the garage. Put out the deck furniture. Even put up the flower boxes on the porch. I didn’t want to tempt you, Mother Nature, so I refrained from putting even fake plants in those empty, forlorn looking flower boxes. Temperature were in the upper 40’s and we ditched our jackets and hats in anticipation of breaking 50 degrees.
Dr. Evil and I started parking outside the garage because the spawn are riding scooters and rollerblades down the still sandy driveway – we like our vehicles to remain scooter-dented-free and our spawn to remain not flies on the bumper of our truck. We only do this once the weather has turned that corner.
It wasn’t a challenge sista.
Mother Nature – you one are vengeful bitch.
Wasn’t I one of the few thanking you for the extra snow late in the season so I could snowboard “just one more time?” Did you miss the fact that I am one of your biggest fans in a land of people who savor their boats and fishing? I long for fall and the cooler weather because it means the snow is coming. IN THE FALL.
NOT IN APRIL!!! NOT when we have First Communion for a spawn this weekend with our family coming in from out of state. NOT when, tonight, I am suppose to drive to the other side of the Twin Cities to meet a blogger I adore and am so very excited to meet You’re My Favorite Today.
Not when the shovels have been put in that part of the garage rafters that require me – getting out a ladder, going up it, not falling off the platform, digging around in unorganized shit, probably finding some mouse poop, hopefully no live mice, and probably cutting my hand on the aerator – just to find a shovel.
Well played Mother Nature. Well played.
Consider yourself outside my circle of friends for a while.
Until you allow us to have a spring. The jump from winter to summer sans spring sucks the big one. It happens every couple of years. If it happens this year – I’m going to join the rest of the state in cursing you all winter long…and summer long…(I won’t in the fall – it’s my favorite – but if you mess with that….look here sister….we will have words…WORDS.)
So Mother Nature, suck it. Deliver spring or I’ll have to go Evil Joy on your arse.
Oh wait – that’s right – you’re dumping up to 8 MORE INCHES of snow by tomorrow night.
UNCLE! UNCLE! you win.
Sincerely swearing at you for making me get out the clean, packed away snowpants,
You are all in my favorite circle of friends. I’ll even make it all pretty once you vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs. Simply click on the juggling lady there on the upper right. That’s the only thing you have to do! Thanks!