Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Don't Judge Me….

Don’t Judge Me.  

I don’t like coffee.  I really really really don’t like coffee.  At all.  I think it’s gross.  I think it smells bad and looks gross.  Cleaning the nasty coffee ground out of the pot when Dr. Evil makes coffee and doesn’t get the filter in properly is awful.

Don’t Judge Me.

When I drink coffee, what I drink is not coffee.  It’s intensely flavored fake creamer with a splash of coffee.  Have you ever noticed how flavored fake creamer is non-dairy?  Or how is sizzles when you add it to your coffee?  You can’t tell me that any better than the awful diet soda I passionately love. 

Don’t Judge Me.

Coffee causes me…well…issues.  About 10 minutes after I drink it.  Ya’ know what I mean, don’t ya?

Don’t Judge Me.  Or use the bathroom after me.

I’ve tried.  I’ve truly tried to fit in and be like the cool kids and like, even enjoy, coffee.  But I don’t.  I grimace. I let it get cold.  I stealthily dump it in the sink.

Don’t judge me.

I like Diet Coke.  I like Diet Dew.  I like Diet Pepsi.  

And yes, I’m aware of the bad stuff in soda.

Don’t judge me.

You know what I do love?


No honey.  No lemon.  Just hot.  Plain.  Earl Grey tea.

Don’t judge me.

And I won’t judge you.  Evah.


Go drink your coffee and then read again.  You’ll be in a better mood.  But still…Don’t Judge Me.  (Unless you’re rating this post….then feel free to judge it Excellent.)


Have a great day!!!


EJ out – to shower after running and enjoying – yes – tea.  But with a twist – today I had an Earl Grey Tea Latte courtesy of a good friend.  Thanks J!!!

Please take a minute and vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs.  Just click on the juggling lady up there in the corner.  I’ll bet she’s had her coffee…or tea….



  1. I feel the same way about tea. I live in a tea obsessed area and my love affair with coffee is judged. You will get no judgement from me. Especially since you won’t be trying to drink my coffee and I won’t be trying to steal your tea.

  2. I don’t judge. It’s more coffee for me!

  3. Nope, no judging. I don’t like coffee either, unless it is drowned in yummy, sugary goodness like flavored creamer. Tea on the other hand, mmm. Love the stuff, and you don’t even have to put anything in it to enjoy it.

    • Exactly!!! I love the sugary pretend coffees….well, I guess I don’t even love those – I tolerate those with a smile on my face. But tea – plain hot earl grey tea – YMMMMMMMMMM!

  4. Just more coffee for me. I’m down with that! This Mom has got to stay regular, if you kwim. I used to like Diet Coke, but I just had to quit it.

    • I soooo need to give up soda. But today is not the day and I’m at peace with that….hehehehehehehehe.

      I have the opposite issue – which is why I don’t eat much gluten or any corn! Coffee only made my gut misbehave even more!!!

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