Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

How I got my Spawn Kicked out of …..

Her Girl Scout troop.  Yes….this did happen.  Yes….I’m pissed.  Yes….I’m glad she’s no longer in this troop.  And Yes….I think it’s sort of funny….giggle giggle funny.

So a couple of years ago I found out a troop was forming in our school.  I sort of begged to get Second Eldest Female Spawn into this troop.  Eldest Female Spawn is in a kick-ass troop – super organized and – understanding – of my….let’s say…my inability to meet every deadline or assignment target with her..troop.  Based on my previous (and current) experience with Eldest Female Spawn (EFS) – I was sort of psyched to get Second Eldest Female Spawn (SEFS) involved.

Meeting times weren’t the best for me but as I didn’t have time to give to the group, I didn’t say anything.  I refuse to complain about something I am unable to help with.  If I had time I would be there and ready to help out!  Problem is I have two older spawn and one littler spawn…and a traveling Dr. Evil.  And 2 dogs.  And a partridge in a pear tree.

We made the meetings we could.  We did what we could.  We missed a lot of stuff.

Then Dr. Evil got sick.  One of the awesome moms just took over driving SEFS to and from meetings and took care of stuff.  The girls sold cookies and put one in her name so she could get a patch.  We bridged to Brownies.  She had a great time at Bridging.  I so didn’t fit in with the other moms…..oh well…it’s not about me…it’s for her.

Fast forward.  I sent in the registration form to the National place or whatever vs doing it locally because …we….missed that meeting.  Fall softball took precedence.  A leader thought I hadn’t registered took me off emails.  I told her I had and she confirmed with the higher powers that be and included me once again.

Another email came out.  Then another.  I don’t remember these emails.  I am guilty of not reading my mail often – I get like 100 messages a day.  I sometimes don’t log on.  I sometimes pretend I don’t have email and don’t look at it for days.  Or I look for the ones from the school…and the bank…and that’s it.  (and now for the ones from eviljoyspeaks@gmail.com).  I knew cookie time was approaching.

Then I got the email.  The one that said I was being a mean person if I thought I could not respond to emails or attend meetings and take cookies from another girl who did respond and mess with their goal.  If only I’d taken the time to read the emails.  Blah Blah Blah.

I.Was.Pissed.

I was informed the people running and Involved in the troop were making it a success.  I should look for another troop for my spawn to be a part of.

I calmly replied….while biting my tongue off.  “I would NEVER expect to take cookies from another child.  I am obviously too busy to be a part of this for my daughter.  Please remove us from all mailing lists and correspondences.”

I received a “thanks for understanding” reply.

Then…I lost it and sent the scathing email I was thinking about sending the first time.   Probably not my best moment…..

I had to tell SEFS she is no longer apart of her troop.  I told in her no uncertain terms it was not her fault, but mine.  I told her we can find a new troop.  I have spoken with EFS (and her leaders) and she said she’d love for SEFS to come to a meeting with her so she feels included.  EFS even suggested – before I said a word – SEFS should come with her to sell cookies so she would be happy.  SEFS was completely fine with all of this.  Which – in and of itself – speaks volumes to me.

Overall, I am happy with the outcome of this situation.  The leadership displayed – kicking a kid out of a freaking Girl Scout troop – is not something I want my daughter to model.  The leader was valid in her points about my lack of participation.  I openly admit that.  I am busy.  I am a mom.  I have to make decisions about which things are more important when I am running our lair on my own.  I am the only one able to drive.  Four Spawn.  Eldest Spawn’s activities have a slightly heavier weight if they are school related as he’s approaching high school in a couple of years.

But really – who gets kicked out of Girl Scouts?  (ummmm…I got kicked out of Blue Birds for setting a mini fire in the garbage can when I was 8 at summer camp with my friend Becky……she was doomed from the start via genetics.)

We Do ! We Do !

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Who? Me?

EJ out – to find another troop for SEFS!

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And thanks to Anna Sandler for the idea to write this post.  Twitter @Anna_Sandler.

11 Comments

  1. Yikes. They do not have the Brownie spirit!!! It’s supposed to be about helping those in need, right?
    My daughter wants to join a troop, but her school doesn’t have one and I don’t want to sell junkie cookies.

    • If you get two replies – sorry – I posted one but the reception was less than optimal.

      Yeah … I think the focus is more service oriented in general. I just don’t understand the thought process behind removing her. I want her to learn compassion, leadership, and friendship. I want her to learn the importance of community service.

      And yup – some of the cookies…ewww…but some…OMWord – are yum yum yummy!

      Thanks for the comment!!

      • We’ve been reading these really old “Brownie books” from the 1950s so this is a frequent topic of conversation in our household.

        I know… thin mints…

      • Joy, You are teaching her about compassion, leadership and friendship yourself–and you are the most important influence in her life. No need to make yourself CRAZY trying to find others to do that for you. I tried the dance/gymnastics classes with my three and it was just not worth it. They get all of that in school and I decided it was more important to eat meals together and show how much we value family and home time. I guess I tend to be counter cultural in many ways but it works for us.

  2. I know it may sound silly, but what’s the fuss about this scouting???
    I know it’s something very “the American way”, but I’ve got 4 children in three different British schools, they all go to school and back, have fun with clubs, sports and super school events, I’m a Parent Governor, we’re super happy with our schools as far as realism allows, and no one has ever cared of scouting…
    Do you have to scout?
    Can someone help me please?
    🙂

    • Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts are not affiliated with the school. Often times, a troop will form with members from one school (during the elementary years) for convenience. It is like playing private club sports or whatnot. You pay a small fee to be a member and work on various things from tying knots for sailing to life guarding to volunteering at Feed My Starving Children. It’s completely voluntary. And each troop is run independantly of the others. And it’s parent/guardian run.

      Sort of a fun thing to do. Often times if you remain active in the organization as you get older you can earn higher ranks – Eagle Scout is the highest in BoyScouts (I think) and it is beneficial when applying for scholarship or leadership positions.

      I think the reason I got upset was my daughter was punished for my missing meetings. At her age – 7 – it is clearly my job to be on top of things such as this.

      What’s a Parent Governor? Three British schools – that’s a lot to keep track of!

      • Hi EJ,

        Sorry for the delay in replying your question. Every elementary and secondary school in Britain is governed by a group of unpaid volunteers, selected through and invitation/application process, who by teaming up with the school’s staff, through target committees, supervise, guide, challenge and approve the school’s every operational detail, from staffing to curriculum. It largely consists of parents having kids in that specific school, also coopted members, local councilors etc. Our work is regulated by national legislation, for the benefit of our future generation:-D
        It is according to general oppinion the UK’s largest and by far one of the most important volunteer, children loving “armies”:-D
        I am very honoured to have been invited and chosen for this work:-D
        Issues as the one you mentioned about, are VERY far from how I think such problems should be solved, this of course representing my personal and private opinion.
        I know, British people have been oftentimes “accused” for “worshiping” their children, but is there anything else more important for our own future as them?
        My children have literally blossomed here, compared to the oftentimes segregative and Stalinist methodology Eastern Europen countries still practice in education. I’m a professional educator as well (see my blog’s About Me…) so I can tell the difference:-D
        I totally agree with one reply given above, about the importance of family time compared to anything else…
        I hope I made any sense!
        Keep up the good work, you are a lioness mother, as all mothers should be! Trust me, I have the priivlege of sharing parenting with our family’s (sometimes fierce:-D ) lioness, so I’ve got a bit of know-how!
        Take care!

  3. @Ann – I love that – we try to spend more time together as well. Eldest does BoyScouts so I thought the girls should do GirlScouts. However…..I love having time together. We only snowboard in the winter now – no other activities. It’s awesome – we may not always board together at Afton – but we are there – helping each other – cheering each other on – laughing with and at each other. Loving it.

    I’m sort of dreading baseball and softball season because we end up splitting to get everyone everywhere.

    I thought we were the only family without a commitment every night of the week!!!

  4. i can’t believe they couldn’t be a little more flexible on the rules given that a. she’s seven and b. it’s scouts and cookies – not pre-med.

    i’m glad your other daughter has a good troop, but i think i’ll stop while i’m ahead and not sign-up my girls – gah, too much pressure!

    • I love my older spawn’s troop. However if I could do it all again – I’m thinking 4H is more my style. And they have learned some good stuff but again – like you said – it’s not pre-med. It’s cookies. Gah!!!!

      Hope it’s okay I included your twitter handle!!! I wanted to give you credit where credit is due!!!

      Joy

  5. This. This is why 9 year old isn’t in Brownies any more. It ended up being more stress and pressure and time committment for the parents than any kids activity has a right to be. One of the troop leaders actually confronted me, asking me to explain what other activities my daughter was in that made it so she couldn’t participate in Brownies! Ugh. So not okay.

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