Evil Joy here with a post on gardening, frustration, and garden sheers.

I love putting in the garden.  No…seriously – it takes me to my happy place.  However we have this Evil Stuff called Evil Quackgrass :

Putting in a garden is fun.  Digging the holes – even with our Evil Limestone Outcroppings – is awesome.  I purposely don’t wear gloves – love the feel of the dirt.  Connecting the earth and all that crap (no hippie comments please…) …

Evil Quackgrass.  How I DON’T love thee : let me count the ways…

1.  You suck.

2.  You really suck.

3.  You really really suck.

4…..I think you get the idea.

I have – in my Evil Wisdom – determined there exists an industrial use for the root system of Evil Quackgrass – a use currently not yet discovered.  hmmmm…if any of you make money of it – I expect royalties!

After 4 – yes – 4 hours of planting – now known as Evil Ripping Out of Evil Quackgrass Before Putting Precious Little Plants In The Ground, I decided I needed to do something else.  Where, oh where, shall my focus fall?

Evil Dogwood Bushes.

Yes – I planted thee.  Yes, I sort of like thee.  Yes, I trim thee each and every bloody year.

Well….today, I took all my Evil Frustrations, Evil Worries, and Bad Evil Memories (six months ago Evil Hubby was still in a coma) out on said Evil Dogwood Bushes.  Now….bawhahahahahahahahaha – no longer bushes.

STUMPS!

I went Evil Joy on the bushes!!  BAWHAHAHAHAHAHA! And then I found …. more bushes!

I only went Ornery Joy on the lilac bush – see – it’s suppose to be a miniature – it still has it’s tag (yes, I’m that anal about things….) max size of 3 ft by 3 ft. Not so much…the stupid thing is Evil Tall and Evil Bushy – I’m talking 6 feet tall and at least that wide.  But it’s in the front of the house and I didn’t want to totally decimate it.  So Evil Joy relaxed a bit and trimmed…a lot….but not too much.

Listen here plants – Evil, Ornery, or Otherwise – Behave.  I. Have. Spoken.

Or I’ll go Evil Joy on your arse!  Bawhahahahahaha!

EJ out – to doctor my Evil Blistered Hands.

graphic sources :turf.uiuc.edu, shutterstock.com