Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

I’m stuck … literally….

Evil Joy here with a post on hot glue.  Hot glue guns and my skin.  And the school ‘requiring’ it all….

So…WTHeck people?  Why are my Spawn coming home and freaking out about the sock hop the school is having.

Female Spawn of my Lair : Did ya know there’s a Sock Hop from 6-8?  Did ya, Did ya?  And hey Mom – why don’t you whip out some poodle skirts for us?  In my favorite color too if you can pull that off.  If not, I’ll say it’s okay, but I’ll be really sad and mention it after you spend 5 hours making the skirts….(And God Forbid I make only two skirts…three definitely required and I volunteered for the other two…glutton for punishment?)

Me : Sure honeys….let me get right on that.  Never mind I’m trying to pack for a trip for myself, 4 spawn, and remind one Dr. Evil that he actually has to pack matching clothes.  And then pack for the transition days where the spawn are back here with family and then out again before coming back again when we’re home.  Oh yeah and since I’m psycho – the house has to be clean, the laundry done, and the carpets steamed before we go.  (I got the steaming done today – yay me!)

Second Eldest Female Spawn : Mom – don’t forget about me being a Dalmatian in the program you’re going to miss.  I’m okay with you missing it but I’ll mention it in passing or write a story or twelve about it at school just to let you know I’m actually pissed you’re missing it.

But since I’m a good mom…I got it all done.  Not all done – just the stuff they ‘need’  … and I put my best skin in it – literally – I think I burned all the skin off my finger tips making the Dalmatian and I sewed over one fingernail making the skirts.  And when I was searing the edges of the fabric for the Evil Required Mentioned A Million Times Neck Scarfs and Hair Ties That Have to Match the Poodle Skirts I burned the Evil Crap out of my thumb.  Evil Weenie Wounds.  (Weenie Wounds are owwies that hurt like Hell but no one cares about them.)  Do I have a choir of teeny tiny violins playing for me out there?  (Bite me by the way ….)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EJ out – to nurse my wounds.

Help me heal by clicking on the Top Mommy Blogs icon on the upper right.  Thanks so much for the healing click.  You may have saved a layer of my skin.

4 Comments

  1. Kisses booboos and sends gentle hugs. And coffee, Since we’re off soda.

    • I decided since Mello Yello Zero was on sale to start after our trip….but thanks for the kisses and hugs. No one gets me like you do my lovely Snarky….Hugs!

  2. hmmm.. I say pack wine, pack Dr, Evil.. leave the evil spawns under the back porch with some water bottles.. and run for the border.. but that’s just me

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