Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Rite of Passage

Evil Joy here with a post on changes. That are Rites of Passage.

All I can think of is the Brady Bunch. This one.


Eldest Spawn’s voice is changing.  Eldest Spawn had a mini ‘schmuck•stash.’

Note the ‘had.’  I’ve wanted to shave it off for a couple months.  So much so I asked my favorite doctor about it.

The conversation went something like this…..



Me:  I can’t stand the mini•stash he has.  It is making me crazy.

Doc: Shave it off.  Or have Dr. Evil help him shave it off.

Me: Won’t it come back in thicker?

Doc: No.  That’s an old wife’s tale.  Get rid of that puppy.



That’s all the encouragement i needed.

So a couple of weeks ago I planted the seed.


Me: Hey Bud.  Can we get rid of the fuzz?

Eldest Spawn: Yes.  Please!


*Happy dance*


I brought it up to Dr. Evil a few times.  Nothing was done about said schmuck•stash.

Finally tonight……I took matter into my own Evil Hands.

Told Dr. Evil ….. today.  This is happening today.  They all went snowboarding and once home, showered (absolutely required post snowboarding….the spawn are genetically related to Evil Sweaty Joy).  The bottle of shaving cream and razor made it into the kitchen.  Eldest Spawn came upstairs from his bedroom pod.

After asking Dr. Evil privately if he’d like to have this ‘moment’ with his only son …. to which he laughed and said “Nah…..you’ve shaved my face.  Go for it.”


Me: It is time.  You, me, or Dad?

ES: You.


Alrighty.  Two seconds later schmuck•stash was gone.

So was my little spawn.  *tear*

So Schmuck•stash….I won.  And so did you.

EJ out – to find pictures of Eldest Spawn when he was still a baby.

Vote fir me over at TMB.  Click once on the juggling lady.  Thanks so much!!!


  1. I know what you are experiencing:-)
    Yesterday junior was sitting close to me on the next armchair, with his feet up as he likes it, when I just rubbed his legs out of an outburst of spontaneous joy at finally being able to spend a couple of hours with them, when I had a feeling like rubbing a brush😜
    Just suddenly dawned on me like never before he’s over 14…

    My little boy, isn’t that little anymore…

    Take care, and all the best!

  2. Oh boy! My middle one (boy) is almost 13… What I have to look forward to… So funny!!!

    • Scary stuff man – can’t believe they grew up so fast! Last year he was still short and stocky – this year – he shot up 6 inches and gained less than 1 lb. He looks older. He sounds older. ….. I guess he is older. Which is a beautiful thing…right! Have a wonderful day!!!

  3. THANK YOU! My husband and I thought it would grow in thicker too! Good to know that’s just an old wives tale. I offered to let my son use my Magic Cream (shave depilitory for black men) and he was all “Mom? Why do you own hair removal cream designed for the faces of black men?” Uh, no reason honey. DOH!

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