Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Strange….And a Little Sick

Want a random fact that will stick in your head for a few days?

Do ya? Do ya?

Okay, but first you have to read a story.  A story with a sad ending for some rats.

As Christmas approached, Dr. Evil was asked if our family would like to own some rats.  His lab boss had a nice set up with four rats he was graciously giving away.  Dr. Evil and I pondered it and then realized….it’s FREE.  It’s Christmas time and it’s FREE.  It would be the ‘big’ gift and … it was FREE!  And really, how much does rat food and bedding cost?

And before you ask, as many have asked, the rats were not from a lab.  They were not lab rats.  They belonged to someone who worked in a lab.  But the rats were from a home.  Not tested on, not genetically altered, none of that.

Now…on with the story.

We tricked the spawn.  Dr. Evil brought the set up home and got our four little (gross) rats settled in.  I had the spawn out snowboarding.  Dr. Evil called me and texted Eldest Spawn.

“You need to come home.  There is a huge infestation.  It’s downstairs and I need your mom.” he texted to Eldest.

I played the part well when he called.  I got all concerned and worried about the basement and the fact that if you see one mouse, there are 20 more you don’t see.  Or so I read somewhere.

Eldest Spawn’s bedroom is downstairs along with our rec room.  It’s a finished basement so I was really cheesing it up.  Eldest became concerned about his room.  We flew home as fast as one can after loading 5 snowboards, 5 people, and all the gear that goes with into the truck.  And driving home on snowy roads.

It was priceless.  Their reaction was exactly as one would expect from my spawn.  Eldest Female Spawn immediately picked one up and started kissing it.  The name game began.  We ended up with four female rats named Butterscotch, Patrick, Rusty, and Tator.  Tator was Tator because the rat had a tumor larger than the rat itself.  But she still got around just fine and seemed happy.

Over the next few months the rats became Eldest Female Spawn’s rats.  She took care of their cage and feed them.  She became attached.  She even spent a good portion of her Christmas money on a rat ball – like a hamster ball – for the rats to roam around in.  The dogs were curious but carefully watched around the rats.  A peace treaty was reached between the six animals.  The dogs agreed to sniff the rats, the rats agreed to be sniffed and all was well.

Until….another rat developed a tumor.  And this one wasn’t so pretty.  It was raw and looked painful.  And it grew literally over night.  Within a week it was huge.

A decision was made.  Tator’s tumor was now so large she had a hard time getting around and even got stuck in the running wheel once.  Butterscotch’s tumor looked awful and the other rats were making it worse.

Now.  For the strange fact that will stick with you……


Did you know that it costs approximately $12.00 to buy a fancy rat?

Did you know that is costs approximately $12.50 to euthanize a fancy rat?


You can’t make this shit up.  Seriously.  You can’t.


Needless to say, we now own 2 rats.  Until next week at least.  I dealt with the death of the first two rats and the devastated spawn who held them as they died.  I am not doing this alone again.  Ever.  And I need to find another box to bring the next set of dead rats home to be buried.  I used my one nice box.

Eldest Female Spawn has decreed the remaining rats on death row deserve just as nice of a box.

I met a blogger on line and he inspired me to write this.  You should check out his blog – it is amazing and I’m now a die hard follower.  You should be too!  Daddy Anarchy can be found at www.daddyanarchy.com, on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/daddyanarchyblog, on twitter @DaddyAnarchy.  Do it.  Follow the Daddy Anarchy!

EJ out – to take a dog for a run.  Because I’m cool like that.


Help a rat killing gal out.  Click on the Top Mommy Blogs icon there on the upper right.  One click.  That’s it!  Thanks!!!



  1. I watched it at work with the volume down but could still feel the joy those kids felt when they first saw the giant cage! By the way, love your socks. 😉

  2. Are you saying the vet only charged $12.50 to euthanize the rat(s) ? I love vets but I’m kind of surprised you got off that easy with the bill.

  3. aww the poor spawn and their babies…RIP

    • She is so heartbroken. Then today the kids I babysit brought a box and the boy said “Here’s a box for when you kill the rats.” I thought she was going to pass out!

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