Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: amblyopia

Eye Glasses Eye Glasses Eye Glasses Oh My…

Well…now it’s actually…

Eye Glasses (Dr. Evil)

Eye Glasses (Me)

Eye Glasses (Eldest Spawn)

Eye Glasses (Eldest Female Spawn)

Oh – MY – ….Flex Spending Account balance tanking out.

Dr. Evil and Eldest Spawn cannot FUNCTION without their glasses.  I can get by – can’t read until I hold whatever I’m trying to read across the room with my Go-Go Gadget Arm.  And Eldest Female Spawn just started wearing reading glasses to prevent further strain…..

Eldest Spawn has strabismus and amblyopia.  In other words – he’s crossed eyed for particular reasons.  Surgery will not fix his eyes because is crossing is vision based.  For example if doctors straightened his eye using surgery and his vision changed next year his eye could go in a different direction than before and not be correctable without additional surgery.  There’s more to it that and not that simplified but…you get the gist……..

When he was 2 years old Eldest, Dr. Evil and I were eating dinner.  As we watched him we noticed at exactly the same time when he looked at his plate his one crossed and then crossed back right away.  We mentioned it the next day at his 2 year old check up and three days later had a prescription for glasses.  For our 2 year old.

Months of patching and finally we found bi-focals to be the solution for him.  Again – still 2 years old.  Yup.  My little kiddo has worn glasses for literally as long as he can remember.  Many kids rebel when they get them.  He did not.  He wouldn’t take them off – even when he slept!

Screen Shot 2014-11-12 at 9.44.39 AM

My favorite story about him getting his glasses took place in the first 5 minutes after he first put them on.  Eldest was a timid kid at the park.  It used to make us nuts.  He refused to climb, refused to explore, and would only swing.  And swing.  And then swing some more.  (Sorry little dude…we didn’t realize you had no depth perception making those parks terrifying!)

Eldest put on his glasses and we left the clinic.  He saw the curb.  Got a huge grin.  AND JUMPED OFF THE CURB WITHOUT HOLDING ONTO MY HAND.  And promptly tripped and fell on his head.

It.  Was.  Epic.

Never before had he ventured anywhere new without a death grip on one of our hands.  It was pretty special and makes me tear up to this day.

Do you have any idea how many pairs of glasses Eldest has gone through in the last 12 years?  A lot.  Way more than 12.

And we were/are fortunate to have the option to pay for vision insurance.

Here’s my question….why are his glasses considered vision insurance’s responsibility?  His eye condition is a medical condition.  The corrective lens are necessary to fix this medical condition.

When I broke my wrist a couple of years ago it was a medical diagnosis.  I broke a couple of bones.  To fix it required a cast, sling and eventually a brace.  Items required to fix a medical condition.  Covered by medical insurance.

Why are glasses for Eldest any different?

I understand typical eye needs.  I wear them to read.  (Which I know could be argued to be a medical condition as well…but stay with me here.)

Our medical insurance pays for an eye exam but not for anything required to fix any findings.  I just don’t get it.  I also understand that we agree to certain exclusions etc. by purchasing insurance.  I’m not finding fault…I just want to understand.

What am I missing here?  Someone fill me in!!   I’m totally open to hearing what you think on this.  Let me know!!!

New Look

Eldest Spawn got new glasses.

He’s 13.  He’s had 11 pairs.

Yes, that is correct.  Eleven pairs of glasses in 11 years.

He got his glasses June 22, 2002.  He was just over two when we found out Eldest needed glasses.  He has amblyopia and strabismus.  He’s cross-eyed in other words…plus a little more than that.  Without his glasses he has no depth perception.

Which was huge.  It explained so much.  The child could write his name at 2.  But he couldn’t climb down the stairs at a park.  He would sit at the top of the slide (where we put him because he wouldn’t climb up) and scream.  The only part of a park he liked were the swings.  The.only.thing.  He put on his first pair of specs…looked around amazed and jumped off the curb for the first time ever!  And promptly fell on his face.  Didn’t scratch the lens though!!!

My little guy was such a little man with his glasses.  So stinking cute.  Through the years as he aged, we allowed him to choose his frames.  He has to wear them.  But wow…sometimes…..So this is his first pair of ‘normal’ style frames since grade 1.  He’s in grade 8.

Through the years with my little man.


And here’s the new pair……



EJ out – to seek clean laundry to be folded.


Evil Joy Public Service Announcement.  We have done a lot with pediatric ophthalmologists over the years.  If I see you and am concerned about your child’s eyes, I will most likely say something.  Some conditions if not treated by age 9 are harder to treat, if not impossible.  If we hadn’t dealt properly with his eyes when he was younger, he’d most likely have lost nearly all vision in the one eye.  My spawn have all been screened numerous times…starting at age 2 months.  Littlest had a pretty flat nose causing her one eye to appear off – checked it out – no problem there.  But like I said – it’s easier to check and deal with young.  This has been an Evil Joy Public Service Announcement.

Advice…from a new mom

So I’m linking up at Theme Thursday.  I seem to mess this up every time I do this and forget to do what I’m suppose to.  (I’m sorry!!!)  Here’s the link to Theme Thursday.  Go check out what others are saying about this week’s theme : Advice  Thanks to Something Clever 2.0 for doing this!!!

I love when I go out with my Littlest Spawn.  She’s a doll face .. except when she’s not. Then she’s the devil incarnate.  She can scream and carry on with the best of them.  In the last year, this has subsided considerably but on occasion it still happens.

My favorite situation is when she is having a hard time with a new environment and I’m past dealing with it.  I’m more of the tough love kinda mama – not the cuddling type.  At all.  Ever.  (Sorry Spawn – suck it up – that’s the way it goes – not everyone wins – you’re fine – get over it)

In walks chic mom in her heels, skinny jeans, with her six month old baby dressed in the latest Gap line head to toe.  Who proceeds to give me advice.  For a child who is 4.5 years older than her first baby.  Advice she read in a book.  And her friend told her about.  And she saw on Oprah or Dr. Phil.

Yeah.  Bite me.

Depending on my mood, one of three things happens:

Mood 1 : Happy and Well Rested


Thanks.  I’m sure it’ll get better.  Have a great day.






Mood 2 : Normal Evil Joy – Tired, Slightly Frazzled, Running 17 Different Directions


Yeah, I know…my older THREE went through this stage too.  Later.







Mood 3 : Exhausted, Dr. Evil on Travel, Other Spawn Acting Up at Home, Last Thin Thread of Sanity Broken by This Woman


Look.  I appreciate you trying to give advice for a child you have no idea about.  Obviously the books you’ve read have made you think you’re prepared.  You’re not.  Just wait.  Wait until she can talk and walk and run away from you and pull over a display in the store.  Wait until she doesn’t like you.  I have THREE OLDER CHILDREN.  I’ve done this shit before.  Yeah – I swore – your baby can’t talk yet and I could say shit over and over again and it will not affect her because she’ll never ever see me again.  And yes, close your open jaw, I swore in front of my five-year old who knows better than to repeat it at all.  I was just like you lady – thought I had it all in the bag.  I don’t.  At least I’m smart and experienced enough to KNOW I WILL ALWAYS HAVE A LOT TO LEARN.  Good Day.

Yeah – Mood 3 – not one of my finer moments.  Thankfully I was in a different town and will most likely never see this woman again.  God, I hope not.

So I try hard to not give advice unless asked.  Even then I tread cautiously.  Are they really asking for advice or do they want reassurance everyone is as confused and clueless as the next parent.  None of our spawn came with manuals.  None of our spawn are alike.  Some advice is great …. but sometimes …. for the love of Pete …. bite your tongue.

Except – okay – the one and only time I don’t hold back is if I notice your spawn’s eyes aren’t properly aligned.  Eldest Spawn has strabismus and amblyopia caught at age 2.  He’s been patched, had and still has bifocals, and wears glasses to correct his alignment and vision.  If not caught early enough the damage caused can be more severe.  So…that’s the one time I know I’ve crossed the line….but if it helps just one kid……

EJ out – to drive in the Mother Loving Snow to see a visiting friend!!!!!

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(graphic sources : pinterest.com, casaazuldelaribera.es)

Evil Craziness….

Evil Joy here with a post on craziness….and how craziness makes me calm….

See…I’m good when I’m busy.  When I’m not busy – not good.  I can think and ponder.  And worry and plan.  And analyze.  So I’ve been working on not being busy….not very hard though….and I’m reverting to my busier than busy ways.


I have to deal with everything or everything is going to deal me out.

If I’m busy, I can’t think about Dr. Evil getting sick again.  I can’t think about kids getting sick.  I can’t think about how my life would be if Dr. Evil hadn’t made it.  Or how different life would be if he had not recovered as amazingly as he did.  I can’t worry about being thankful enough.  I can’t worry about if I’m not thankful enough will this happen again.  I can’t worry about people judging me.  I can’t worry about the judging I’ve done.  I can’t worry I’m messing up my kids by not being a good enough mom.

My body may get tired doing all the physical busy, but my mind can’t exhaust itself worrying about everything under the sun.  I know, I know…worrying about things takes away the joy of the day or something like that.  Trust me.  I don’t do this on purpose.  I would love to be carefree.  I’m working on it.  Just a day at a time.  Right now, I’m not even there…sort of like a chunk of the day at a time.  And I pray…a lot.

Anyway – today I’m not trying hard to not be busy….PT appointment, therapy appointment, tutor for Spawn appointment, ophthalmologist appointment, optician appointment, and best of all….Evil Co-Hort from Iowa Amy and her twins are arriving for the weekend!  Dr. Evil and I are doing a (longer than I’ve been doing) run tomorrow early – like 5:30 am early – only 6 miles or so – so Evil Co-Hort from Iowa Amy and her twins and me and the Spawn can party like it’s 1999 for the rest of the day.

Check out the glasses he wants to order……Rec Specs – F8….


So by Sunday, my body may be tired…and a little hung over…..but my mind will have it’s chance….watch out world.

EJ out – to go to get Eldest Spawn’s strabismus and amblyopia checked out – we’re hoping to reduce the bi-focal need this year……..hope for us!

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