Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: anxiety (page 1 of 2)

PTSD Sucks

My husband had surgery in mid December. He got hurt snowboarding. I didn’t deal well with any of it.

PTSD sucks. 

Seeing him semi-conscious pre-surgery with a nasal cannula, hooked up to an I.V., with blankets covering him to his chin put me back to a place I never want to return. His eyes were closed, his breathing was slow, and I was helpless.

It wasn’t the same thing. He was going to wake up and be just fine. Not have to learn to walk again. Not have to be in the hospital for weeks. Not come home and be helpless.

PTSD sucks.

My behavior was normal. Completely and totally normal. My mind remembered the fear and anxiety and my body reacted. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I was testy and OCD about the house being tidy. I made sure everything was done and done properly and then would sit in my closet with the door shut and sob uncontrollably until one of the kids needed me. Finally my husband told me I was scaring the kids and needed to go to the doctor. That statement, “You’re scaring the kids,” punched me in the gut. The kids have always come to me with their problems and fears. Always me.

PTSD sucks. 

I went to the doctor. She assured me I wasn’t the awful human being I, in that moment, believed myself to be. She explained anger can be extreme anxiety. That my body was using muscle memory of a traumatic event and that was why I hadn’t been able to eat more than a yogurt a day in over a week. She told me….it was time to go back on anxiety meds for a little while. I sat there and cried, relived to hear I wasn’t going crazy, I wan’t going to be like this forever, and that I wasn’t an awful human.

PTSD sucks.

The sun didn’t shine in my world for a while. I was still upset and testy. I worried incessantly about my husband, his interpretation of rules, and his recovery. I quickly learned to keep that to myself as he’s an adult and unlike last time, he’s just fine. I was trying to control a situation that wasn’t mine to control. Letting go was, and is hard, but necessary.

Last week, I felt like myself for the first time since he got hurt. I didn’t plaster a smile on my face and chatter out of fear of anyone seeing through my act. Those closest to me knew better but respected my need to attempt to act normal. I smiled a real smile. Laughed without forcing it. I went snowboarding without guilt. I found my happy.

PTSD sucks.

You just have to see it through to the other side.

It Had to be a Monday!

WARNING : This post is not graphic but touches on some female issues. You’ve been warned.

Continue reading at your own risk.

Monday did not rock. The things that happened a few Mondays ago turned me from a “Monday Loving Mama” into “Can’t wait til it’s Tuesday” kinda girl.

Over the weekend I had the cold from hell. I never get sick and am the walking, talking female version of the Man Cold. We had a weekend of softball and port-a-potties. I had a visitor – that bitch Aunt Flo. If you’ve never had the pleasure of dealing with the heaviest days of your period while at a softball field with no running water, port-a-potties, and nasty hand sanitizer…. you’ve never lived. Or rather you’ve lived a happy life in oblivion.

I was prepared all weekend. Spare clothing. Hand sanitizer, extra soap, and water. My dear friend brought me chocolate and even though I’m trying hard to lose more weight, she just knew I needed a pick me up. I admit I didn’t eat any but the kids enjoyed it so much I was happy by proxy. I survived the weekend.

And then Monday happened.

Monday was a shit show of epic proportions. I had my schedule all messed up and showed up at the wrong places at the wrong times. It was the day that wouldn’t end. Finally I’d had it and knew if I didn’t get a run in the next person to tell me they needed something likely wouldn’t survive to receive what they needed. I made it to the gym. I ran hard on the treadmill. Then I remembered I needed to pick up Eldest because Dr. Evil was on travel. I rushed home. Showered. Threw on some clothes including my white shorts. And bolted out the door.

I was ahead of schedule and pulled into the corner market to get some medicine for the “cold.”

That’s when I realized my epic mistake. EPIC mistake.

In my haste to be on time, I forgot about that bitchy visitor I had for the week. I sat in the parking lot trying to determine if I could walk into the store or not. I didn’t have a sweatshirt or anything to tie around my waist. I was trying to check things out and see the state of my white shorts when … POP!

My underwire snapped right in half.

Well shit. When you’re a large chested woman underwires serve a very serious purpose. They have work to do and when they leave mid shift it’s a problem.

Now I’m worried about white shorts that may or may not be all white. I have a saggy boob AND I’m being stabbed in the chest. Literally.

I said, “Screw it!” and walked into the corner market and got my medicine. Saggy boob and all.

Lucky for me my shorts were all white and remained that way. I went home, texted my two friends Snarkfest and The Shitastrophy about my shitastic day.

And I went to bed.

Needless to say it wasn’t the best Monday I’ve ever had. I sure appreciate Tuesdays more than before.

EJ out – to work out extra hard since I’ve had dessert two nights in a row. I’m down nearly 30lbs and want to reach a goal by Halloween.  What’s your plan for the day!?

This is Progress.

It’s been a while since I talked about Dr. Evil being sick. I view this as progress and consider it a success. A couple of things have happened that took me “back” but I haven’t stayed there. Not back. Not anymore. Here’s what progress is for me….

A few weekends ago, I felt all the old ick resurface. Now I have the skills to deal with the feelings that slam me….but the emotions still take my breath away for a time.

Saturday the girls found the cane Dr. Evil used while recuperating. It made my skin crawl to see that thing. I know most view items like this as just that….a thing. For me, in that moment, that cane took me to helping Dr. Evil around the house, watching him struggle to walk, seeing him exhausted after walking three steps. The girls were playing with the cane, transforming it into a crutch and making pretend casts. I smiled and watched them play from a distance. I didn’t want to engage and inspect the “broken leg.”

Then they gave it to Dr. Evil and he leaned on it. I looked at him and said, “No. Don’t do that.” I walked away. I was instantly grumpy – my defense mechanism. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

And then…..it was okay.

Today the cane is still about in the house. I finally told the girls I would rather they play with it somewhere else. A year ago I would have thrown it away and cried. Today I asked them to move it and went on with my day.

Screen Shot 2015-09-28 at 11.41.52 AM

Life is good. We’re all good. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t thank my lucky stars for my family. Days go by where I don’t think about what could have happened – but didn’t.

This is progress.

Double Dip…Stigma Fighters and Use Your Words

Today I’m double dipping.  I’ve got a post up that is important to me.

Not knowing exactly when it was going up ….. I also committed to Use Your Words.

Screen Shot 2014-01-16 at 8.23.16 PM

So today…I’m integrating these two.


You’re going to find highlights (and low points) of my ‘story’ today on a post at Old School/New School Mom in a series she has called Stigma Fighters.  I realize I’m sharing a very intimate part of my life with complete strangers. But that’s what fighting stigma is about.

When you deal with mental health issues, if feels as though your mind is broken.  And there is stigma associated with admitting there’s a problem.  It doesn’t make you a weak person.  It doesn’t make you a loser.  In fact, when you seek help it shows the world just how strong you can be.  And maybe, just maybe, you’ll give another the courage to do the same.  It could mean the difference between life and death.

You deal with your health issues when they seem simple – like a cold or a sprained ankle.  Why should keeping your mind healthy be any different?  Realizing you need help is hard.  I didn’t see it when I was in the thick of the worst.  It took Dr. Evil telling me something was wrong after I had my second child and a minor car accident.  My reaction was over the top.  Way over the top.

But I sought help.  And over the years I’ve learned to follow my instincts when I sense I’m not on a good path.   And I’ve learned to deal with many of the issues that cause me to trigger.

At the end of the day….I’m a happy, healthy person.  And I can say that now because I’m dealing with my demons.  I have issues, but who doesn’t?

And now….I’m working to break the stigma.   Check out the post over at Old School/New School Mom.


Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

I’m using:               Highlights, complete stranger, mind, and follow your instincts

They were submitted by:          Confessions of a part-time working mom


YOU MUST READ her blog!  And all of the others!  I have SPOKEN.  And I’m the all powerful EVIL JOY.  Do as I command….or I’ll go EVIL ON YOUR ARSE.

(I had to throw that in….I’m normally sort of a cheeky blogger who is more humorous than serious…..don’t want people to miss that side of me!!!)



Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

http://bakinginatornado.com                       Baking In A Tornado

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                Battered Hope

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/              Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com            Someone Else’s Genius

http://fbxadventures.blogspot.com                 FBX Adventures (In Parenting)

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/            Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.outmannedmommy.com                 Outmanned

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com           Evil Joy Speaks

http://www.healingtomato.com                        Healing Tomato

http://themomisodes.com                           The Momisodes
http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com              Juicebox Confession

I'm Being Brave and Sharing ….

My love of Christmas decorations in the stores.

There.  I said it.

I Love Christmas Decorations in all the Stores.

I Love Christmas music on the radio 24/7.  I love the ads.  I love the lights.  I love the music on in the stores.  I love the bell ringers.  I love Regions the Elf.


I do wish it would wait until after Halloween.  But my heart does a little happy dance when I see the big lit up trees in Target or Wal-Mart…Walgreens or County Market.  Knowing today the world as we experience it here in our town and the near by Twin Cities of St. Paul and Minneapolis will be about all things red, green, bright, and light.

Thanksgiving used to be my favorite.  It’s not so much anymore.  I actually would be happy to skip it all together.  But that’s for another blog post.

I was a staunch supporter of “No Christmas Decor until after Thanksgiving!” for many years.  Then, we had spawn and started traveling with said spawn.  Now, we usually do the decorations the weekend before Thanksgiving so Thanksgiving Day and the days following are all about having fun, relaxing, and enjoying each other.

Because in my house there are 20 totes of Christmas Decorations.  All in their happy little red and green bins.  (Halloween has three totes, Thanksgiving has one tote, Easter has three totes, St. Patrick’s Day and Valentine’s Day share one tote (I know – it’s a travesty!) and summer has its own tote.)  Christmas decorations are stored separately under the stairs so they don’t block all the other totes.  I adore my house but there is so little storage it’s sort of ridiculous!  Keeps me from being a hoarder though.  Of all things.  Except…Christmas Decorations.

I feel a renewed sense of excited about Christmas.  I’m actually Looking Forward to getting out my decorations.  I’m not fearful like I was last year.  (And my totes have increased from 12 to 20….organization and a Mom who loves to hand down her things – and she makes me look like a slacker when it comes to the love of all things Christmas!)

I’m not dreading the mess.  Dr. Evil won’t be earning another PhD. mid-decorating.  He will not get sick and be in a coma like two years ago.  He will not show many of the same symptoms and end up sick like last year.

Or I’ll have to beat him up with Christmas dancing animals (we have a large, LARGE collection) and tie him up with strings of half burnt out lights.  And then let the Halloween sugar crazed spawn attack.

So there world.  I have shared my secret.  My secret love of all the things that drive many crazy.  I LOVE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS!

Until Christmas night (which is around 29 December at my house – we travel…what can I say?).  When that shit is down and put away before bed so December 30th dawns with a clean and tidy house!

Let the red, green, light, and bright puking of decor BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!


EJ out – to stop the unfair trading practices occurring in my kitchen.  Halloween candy wars begin…..NOW!


I’m falling out of the top 20 Humor Blogs again at Top Mommy Blogs!  Help me out!  Click on the juggling lady up there on the right.  On a mobile device, view full post, scroll to the bottom and there you’ll find the juggling lady to click upon!  THANK YOU!!!!

Marathon Weekend : The Evil Joy Edition

The Evil Onion

Grandma’s Marathon, Duluth, Minnesota

23 June 2013

by Evil Joy

The 37th Annual running of Grandma’s Marathon occurred yesterday in Duluth, Minnesota.  And it was even more special due to the presence of Evil Joy and her Dr. Evil.  They started together.  They ran together.  They finished together.  Evil Joy did not have to follow through with her very real Evil Threat of leaving Dr. Evil in Duluth if he left her on the marathon course.

“He stayed with me.  Through the whole thing.” said Evil Joy.

The weekend started with Evil Joy and Dr. Evil departing Hudson, Wisconsin.  First stop : Awesome A’s house – Eldest Spawn was staying there for the weekend.  Their second stop was Auntie W’s house – now known as “Spawn Drop Zone.”  The final stop before their Duluth Destination was Auntie J’s house – renamed “Fur Spawn Drop Zone” as the pups stayed there for the weekend.

Evil Joy shares her memories of the weekend.

“The traffic wasn’t too bad considering it was a weekend and we, like most of the area, were heading north.  That’s what people do here on the weekend – they “go up north.”  Temperatures were warm in the cities but continued to drop as we approached our destination.  As the temperatures dropped, the traffic picked up!”










Evil Joy said the Expo was wonderful and she and Dr. Evil both made a few pre-race purchases.  Packet pickup was very smooth and nicely run.  All of the volunteers were amazing.  There is a spaghetti feed the night before the Marathon and Dr. Evil was very excited to partake.  Luckily for Evil Joy, they had a gluten-free option that was actually “pretty tasty.”

Evil Joy continues.

“We left the expo and made our way to the grocery store – our infamous ‘must haves’ for the morning of a long run.  I am addicted – mentally –  to my pre-run brown rice cakes with almond butter and 2 bananas.  We picked up a treat to have in the room as well – Greek yogurt with chocolate rice cakes to dip.  YUM!!!”

Evil Joy and Dr. Evil stayed at the University of Minnesota-Duluth dorms while in town.  They were very pleased with their accommodations.  While a hotel would have been amazing, it would have “broken the piggy bank.”

“It was time for bed.  I couldn’t sleep.  I was so very thankful for experienced friends sharing with us that no sleep is totally normal and not to worry about it.”

4:45am Saturday 22 June dawned….sort of.

“The fog was crazy!  Just when you thought you’d seen the worst of it – you’d lose more visibility.  Thankfully Dr. Evil and I were bused to the start of the race and didn’t have to drive in that mess.  We were up front – I get crazy car sick – and overheard the bus drivers desperately trying to get another lost bus driver – with a bus full of half marathon runners – to the start of the half.  The half started about an hour earlier than the full so those people were surely nervous!”

Evil Joy and Dr. Evil arrived at the drop site, found the sea of port-o-pots, and anxiously awaited the start.  “Well…I was anxious.  I don’t think Dr. Evil is ever nervous – he’s steady as all get out!” corrected Evil Joy.

The National Anthem was beautifully sung by a member of a local National Guard unit.  Then……it was time.

“There were people everywhere.  I am short and the group behind us – they must have all been over 6 feet tall!  They kept telling me when the line would move so I wouldn’t get run over!

We ran….and ran.  Started out with the 4:45 pace group.  At mile 4 I had to tell Dr. Evil I couldn’t maintain that pace for another 22 miles so we slowed slightly and ran with the 5 hour pace group.  Eventually they passed us too.  At that point – I just wanted to run and did NOT care about how long it took.  After 5 hours – who really cares if it’s 5 hours and 10 minutes or 5 hours and 30 minutes – that’s still a really long time to be moving!”

She continues, “The fog was so thick it literally looked like the sea of people were lemmings running off the edge of the world!”  The weather conditions deteriorated.  By Mile 3 the White Warning Flags were up.  From the race website, “WHITE FLAG (Risk of Hypothermia): The risk of hypothermia is very low, but still exists especially in slow runners or in wet and windy conditions.”  Evil Joy and Dr. Evil were quite comfortable with the temperatures while running.  “The wind was cold at times but we very much prefer that to being hot!” said Evil Joy.

“Finally…at mile 12 I gave in to the need I’d had since the start – and I mean the START of the race – I had to go to the bathroom.”

Evil Joy has a new name for Mother Nature – it’s one we can’t print here.  Let’s just say she was not thrilled with the timing of monthly events in her life at mile 12.

The race continued.  At Mile 20, sponsored by Verizon, Evil Joy and Dr. Evil saw two dear friends and seeing them gave the runners the energy to ‘just keep running…just keep running.’

“I thought Mile 25 was NEVER going to get here!” exclaimed Evil Joy.  Belly dancers were out in the now steady rain dancing under the overpass in Duluth’s historic downtown.

Finally…there.  The finish line.  Evil Joy said, “I was thinking…OH THANK GOD WE CAN STOP RUNNING SOON!  I just wanted my t-shirt and medal and to go on my blog page and put a line through one more thing on my Bucket List page!”

Evil Joy and Dr. Evil finished together at 5:36:45.  In the rain.  And oh so happy.  Dr. Evil is a man of few words but he posted this moving statement on Facebook :

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The Marathon is complete for another year.  When asked if she would do another one Evil Joy responded, “It’s like child birth – I need to forget a bit first before I think about doing it again.”

We had an amazing time together last weekend.  Thanks to everyone who helped us during training, running, traveling.  Dr. Evil’s statement on Facebook made me cry happy tears – during the race I kept thinking about how far we’d come.   I didn’t have any idea he was thinking the same thing.  He doesn’t talk much about all that happened.  I probably do that enough for both of us.  But his words healed a few places in me I didn’t realize needing healing.  So this was way more than a marathon.  Way more….

EJ out – to hobble to get some coffee.

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Evil Something or Other…



Burton Puppy had a little incident.  Actually…we don’t know what the heck happened.

Thursday he came in from outside because Shadow Dog can open the deck door by herself.  He jumped up on the couch next to Eldest Female Spawn doing her Girl Scout homework.  I was on my computer when she let out this horrid, blood-curdling scream.

Now…she’s known to have a bit of drama queen in her so I wasn’t the kindest.

Me...looking not so nice.

Me…looking not so nice.








“What in the world is wrong?  Why are you screaming like that?”

Then Littlest Spawn starts screaming and sobbing all at once.

I jumped up because two out of four crying like that means something may possibly…maybe….probably not…could be…up.

Holy Shit.  I don’t swear a lot (on here) but…wow.

There was a gaping hole in his side.  The fur was hanging next to flesh under this what looked like 4 inch wide tear/bite.  Honestly thought maybe something got ahold of him.

I yelled at Eldest Spawn : Catch Burton.  Hold him still.  Be careful.

Grabbed a beach towel and carefully threw it around him to hold him together.

Me to Eldest Spawn : Get in the truck.  Now.  Move it.

Me to Eldest Female Spawn who was sitting on the stairs rocking and crying : I know it’s scary honey.  You have to pull it together and watch your sisters.  I’ll call Daddy and he’ll be home as soon as he can.  I need your help.

We FLEW out of the driveway and down highway N.  I’m not proud of how fast I drove.  I sped.  A lot.  But I honest to God thought this dog was most likely going to die.  I called Dr. Evil.  He was just leaving work and more than 20 minutes away.

So who do I call?  Awesome Amy.  The conversation went something like this…..

Me : Hi.  I need your help.  Are you busy and what are you doing?

Her : Okay – what do you need.  I’m fine.

Me : Go get my girls.  Burton Puppy is hurt and they are freaking out.  Dr. Evil is about 20 minutes away and I don’t want them alone.

Her : Got it.  I’ll get them and bring them to my place.

Me : Thanks.  You’re the best.


Then I hung up.  I just hung up.   Called the clinic.  It went to voice mail at 4:59.  As I was barreling down the highway I decided I would go there anyways and surely someone would be there to answer the door.

We got in the parking lot at 5:01.  Lights off.  Dark.  Eldest Spawn ran around and banged on every surface we could to see if anyone was there.

No dice.  The message said to go to Woodbury…I thought he’d be dead if we went that far.  (He wasn’t exhibiting any signs of being in pain but was sort of quiet…do dogs go into shock?)

Eldest Spawn googled other vets in Hudson.  Luckily the first one we called was open and only about 3 minutes away.  Bring him right in, we’ll be waiting for you.

Flew in the drive.  Ran around and grabbed him from Eldest Spawn.  In we went.

They were so sweet there….I was a mess.  Remember the whole Fizzgig thing – well, the last time I was this frantic about a dog…I had run him over.  She looked at him and said “Oh, I see.”

The vet came in and looked at him more closely.  Said it was going to take some stitches to close him up but it wasn’t that deep.  He’d need surgery and they’d keep him overnight.  No worries, he’ll be fine.

And then he found his feisty self – she tried to take him from me and he was PISSED.


We left Burton Puppy there and I started to get shaky.  I praised Eldest Spawn.  He was so calm and responsible.  Held onto Burton Puppy all the way there and talked to him in this sweet, calm voice.  He was so…grown up about the whole thing.

Then I started crying.  Poor Eldest Spawn knew what I was thinking about.  He said, “Mom, Fizzy was old.  It was an accident.  And I really was only kidding when you thought I was mad about borrowing my snowboard.”

I had to laugh.  He was trying to cheer me up.  A kid.  A super kid.


We got to Awesome Amy’s and picked up the Female Spawn.  They were doing homework.  Man..that woman deserves a medal.  She is seriously amazing.  The girls got ready and we left for home so we could then leave for Girl Scouts.


Home to find evidence Eldest Female Spawn was making up bowls of cereal with glasses of milk for her little sisters.  She had set the table and was preparing to feed them when Amy arrived.  And she put on a movie the two littles liked a lot.  She so pulled it together.  Another amazing kid.  I’m so proud of her.


Burton Puppy will be fine.  He’s sporting the Cone of Shame and as Dr. Evil calls it his ‘wife beater’ t-shirt.  We’re hoping to prevent him from scratching at his 26 staples on the outside and internal stitches.  Poor dude.  There is a long cut.  The vet warned me over the phone the injury was larger than I thought because when I brought him in it was all bunched up.










The vet said it appeared he either was bit and pulled away or got caught up on something and pulled.  I really hope he got caught on something.  There is a dog that wanders our neighborhood a lot.  Animal Control is on a first name basis with him.  He can be sweet but he tried to nip at Eldest Female Spawn last summer.  Most likely he tried to go under our deck – he’s quite a bit larger than he used to be…was 6 lbs when we got him – now he’s a whopping 32…and got caught up on something.

As for Burton Puppy…this is what he thinks of his new ‘get-up.’

I will get you when you sleep.  Just wait.

I will get you when you sleep. Just wait.



Now to ensure I don’t send the Green Eyed Burton after you, you should click on the juggling lady on the upper left.  Doing so casts a vote for me at the Top Mommy Blogs where I’ve again fallen drastically!  Help a girl out!

And check out my Facebook page….Evil Joy Speaks.  There’s some fun coming soon!

Really Dr. Evil…Really…..?

Evil Joy here with a post on Dr. Evil and his attempt to give me a coronary.

So if you’re reading this post, hopefully you’ve read about why I’m here.  Why Evil Joy exists.  And Dr. Evil.  And our spawn.

If you don’t know, go check it out.

So in November of this year, Dr. Evil got a cold.  Seriously?  Do you know the Evil Anxiety that exists in my world every time that man sniffles, sneezes, or looks slightly like he may do one of those two thing?  Let’s just say there’s medication and therapy involved.  For me.  Not him.  He’s all good.  I’m not.  Not yet.  I will be one day.

So on Monday he had his anniversary checkup – blood work – and doctor visit.  He was all good but for this cold.  So his WBC was slightly elevated.  Due his now high risk status, flu and pneumonia shots were recommended and administered.

By Monday night, he was not feeling well.  Tuesday…miserable.  Chills, fever, sore arm, yucky all around.  Wednesday he left work early due to feeling ill.

OMWord.  The only other time he’s done that was last year.  When he almost died.  And according to several doctors, he should have died based on how sick he was.  (They can’t believe he’s still here kicking and back to his normal self.)

I texted our doctor (she’s cool like that) and she said for him to go straight to the clinic.  Now.  Get tested for influenza.  And hope that’s what it is.

Who hopes for influenza?

I do, I do!


No luck.  She said to make sure whoever he saw did a COMPLETE and FULL blood workup if he didn’t have influenza.

His WBC jumped to 22000.


My heart stopped.  She called to talk me off the ledge.  I was panicking, freaking out, ready to puke, and having a meltdown all inside of my head while remaining mostly calm on the outside for my spawn.  They all went on alert when Daddy came home and sat on the couch with Gatorade and didn’t move.  I don’t think he realizes how this all affected them too…..

So in we went on Thursday.  He didn’t feel any better…but not any worse either.  She drew on him to mark the hot spots.


We went home.  He felt better enough to be a jerk and make me mad.  I felt better.  Sort of.  At least I didn’t revert to the “You can do anything you want, say anything you want, and be a jerk – it’s all good just because you’re ALIVE.”  I lived in that place for a long, long time.  I have left that island.  Will not return.  (Tough luck Dr. Evil.)

Littlest Spawn and I stayed out of the house so he could have quiet.  Dr. Evil planted on the couch with his work computer and was very productive.  He started to really feel better and went up to bed.  And continued working.  So he really did feel better.

Today dawned.  Appointment with the doctor again.  All signs point to a infection/reaction to the shots….and him being on the recovery side of things.  No more 102 degree fever.  No more chills and sweats.  No more feeling just yucky.  We have a new drawing on his arm – well – additional drawing –  but he’s AT WORK LATE because HE’S A DORK so I can’t take a picture right now.  I don’t mind him working late.  That’s totally not the EVIL ISSUE.  But for him to be sick enough to leave work and go through all this the past few days……only to go back after lunch today and plan on staying late tonight….it seems STUPID.  Incredibly smart man – freaking, scary smart man….ummm…no COMMON SENSE.

Okay…enough of my ranting.  To put it in perspective for myself…..

Last year…..I can’t do it – I was going to put a picture of him on life support on here.  I can’t do it.  I can’t.

This year…no life support pictures to make me cry.

EJ out – to pack for Iowa.  And stop worrying.  And work on staying calm while being extremely pissed off.

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It’s Official – I’m Crazy Joy

Evil Joy here with a temporary reassignment of name…EJ will now be CJ until 08 December 2012.

Why you ask?  Let me tell you……

In my Crazy Wisdom, I decided to have a double birthday party for two of my female spawn.  Not just a double party…

A Double Sleep Over Party.

WTHeck was I thinking?  Let me tell you……

  • Get it all done at once
  • Do it on a Friday night so we have Saturday and Sunday to recover
  • Don’t want to disappoint either spawn – one has been waiting two years for a party – the other had her party the day Dr. Evil got sick last year.  Need new memories
  • Because I’m FREAKING CRAZY!
  • And I love them both to pieces and then some.

Now I know some of the spawns’ friends don’t do sleep overs so they can be picked up around 9 or 10 pm.  That’s all good with me.  And…I am making parents get out of bed and get their spawn from my house at 9 am on Saturday.  (Unless you’re like my Crazy self and Dr. Evil who miscommunicate and leave our spawn at a sleep over party until 2pm the next day!!!  Sorry friend….)

So send me some good energy, karma, prayers …. anything.  I’m excited about this party – not dreading it as I thought I would…nervous about having parties because of last year – but like I said time for new CRAZY memories in this house.  We deserve them!!!!









EJ out – to party plan and make sure there’s enough nail polish and remover to go around at the party.  (parents – I apologize now.)

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Shots…or shoot me now… Part II

So…yesterday.  Flu shots.  ummm yeah.  I know it’s for our good but holy crapola?!  Really spawn? Really?

I am happy to report all spawn lived and I was not incarcerated.  Not yesterday anyways….who knows what today will hold?

Being the awesome Mom I am I went first.  Then I made Eldest Spawn go.  She cried and whined.  The nurse told her the anxiety is way worse than the actual shot.  She cried for a second.  Then it was done.  



Bright lights glowed in the room while I heard angels singing and a halo appeared on her head.  I heard the “Hallelujah Chorus.”

Next up.  Second Eldest Female Spawn.  She had tears for a second and then in typical Second Eldest Female Spawn style – she started giggling.  Hysterically.  

Ummm..okay.  I’ll take that.

Then……Littlest Spawn.

Freaked.Out.  Freak out of epic proportion. 

Now, let me explain how strong Littlest Spawn is.  She is crazy strong.  She could lift up and move the ladder to the slide before she could even walk.  

It took two of us to get her tights down just enough to expose the teeny tiny section of her leg.  Then I had to mom-handle her onto the table.  And lay on her. 

She still managed to get an arm out and smack the nurse’s hand. 

Sucks to be her.  She had to get stuck twice because of that little prank.

Then….she screamed so loud the Doctor came back in with suckers.  And how loud was that scream…..Loud….I mean she screamed really loud.  


I’m still partially deaf today.


Finally she ‘sucked it up’ and rode her bike to her friend’s house.  And was fine.

Good God – if we get the flu – I’m going to go Evil on somebody or something.  Just sayin’


EJ out – to think about running in this interesting weather.  I won’t catch the flu so I’m good right?

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