Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: Apple


It’s time. Time for #TToT. Aka Ten Things of Thankful by the awesome Lizzie!!!

So here goes!!!

1. Thankful for Lizzie. ‘Nuf said.

2. Super happy I got to go see my grandma. She’s 94 and amazing.


3. Very thankful she understood she’ll be staying with my aunt and uncle from now on.

4. Thankful I can be grumpy with Dr. Evil about going on travel.

5. I’m extra thankful for the time spent with my mom and dad this weekend!

6. And this little guy!


7. Thankful for safe travels to and from Iowa!

8. And for Dr. Evil’s willing participation in such silliness as….


9. For tree trimming and farting Santas.







10. Thankful I can write this….

Let me tell you a tale. Once upon a time there was a young woman named Evil Joy. She stood by her Dr. Evil day and night for 10 long days while he fought against a staph infection. One that caused him to experience kidney, liver, and heart failure. Staph pneumonia. Rhabdomyolysis. And because of all of that he was placed in a coma to let his body heal. That meant a ventilator. Continuous dialysis. Tubes and IV. Everywhere.

Until 2 years ago today. Two years ago today he woke up. This is where the story gets good.

You see, Dr. Evil is an engineer. A techno gadget geek. MY techno gadget geek. A very bright individual. So smart it’s actually a little scary and/or intimidating even after 20+ years together.

Now when one has been in a coma for 10 days one’s muscles forget how to work. Legs and arms don’t move as they should.

This didn’t stop Dr. Evil from seeing the info board from his hospital bed. From seeing the date. 01 December 2011.

The day he qualified for a new phone.

THE new 4S iPhone from Apple.

“Give me the iPad!” he exclaims.

“What do you need?!?” I questioned back alarmed. “Your arms are not .. ummm. Not working quite right yet.”

“Just give it to me!”

“Tell me what you want and I’ll take care of it!” I said getting annoyed and then feeling guilt as he’s been awake for about 2 seconds.

“I qualify for my new phone. I want to order it now!”

Oh!!! I can deal with that!!! And here we were worried about his brain.

It’s all good. My techno gadget geek is as geeky as ever!

Can you believe Apple didn’t pick this up for a commercial?!?!? In a coma one minute. Demanding to order newest Apple product the next?!?!?

Their loss man. Their loss.

But I’m open to selling it now…..hint hint #apple #iphone #storyforsale

EJ out – waiting to hear from Apple. Shameless pleading is awesome right?!?

Evil Freaking Sleeping Positions….

Evil Joy here with a post on spawn and the weird positions in which they sleep.  When they actually sleep that is…..

So..Dr. Evil, Eldest Spawn and Eldest Female Spawn went to the theater for Spiderman.  I had my Evil Doubts about Eldest Female Spawn going.  Dr. Evil had her watch the trailers on the Mac to see if she thought she could handle it.  Of course she said yes.  Who wouldn’t?  Night out with Dr. Evil and only one other Spawn?  And to the Falls Theater – meaning treats will be bestowed along with a movie.  Heck Yeah!

I put two youngest spawn to bed (after making princess craft after princess craft….how did I get such Girly Spawn?!?!?!).  Sure enough.  In comes Eldest Female Spawn.  I’m in bed reading.

EFS : Can I cuddle with you?  I’m scared.  The movie was scary.

Me : No.  It’s bed time.  I told you the movie would have some parts maybe a bit much for you.

EFS : But the trailers, they didn’t show any of the truly scary stuff.  Totally not cool Mom.

Me : It’s bed time.  Good night.

Off to bed she goes.  And proceeds to wake me up so many times I finally Evilly Cave and tell her to make a bed on the floor in my room.

I wake up to find her in the following position:


It must be noted under herself, she is sitting criss-cross applesauce.  It must also be noted she sleeps like this regularly.  WTHeck?!?!  It must also also be noted she is freaky flexible – she can put both feet behind her head and play her bum!  Arms, hips, shoulders – this Spawn is bendable!

So Spawn – as long as you sleep – you can twist yourself into whatever pretzel shape you’d like.  Just STAY OUT OF MY ROOM BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 11pm and 5am!!!  Got it?!  Good.

EJ out – to try to sit like that just to see if I can.  If no posts are made in the next 36 hours – send in reinforcements to untwist my limbs.

While you’re here – if you’d take a minute to click on the Top Mommy Blogs icon on the left – I’d love it!  All you have to do is click on it – I’m currently #27 in the Humor Category – would be sort of cool to move up a bit!  Thanks!!!!

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