Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: birthday (page 1 of 2)

Deep Thoughts from a 38 Year Old

Today is my last day being 38.  I am feeling reflective and am therefore pondering many things.  One of which is why do the crappy things that happen sometimes stick in your head and seemingly overwrite the awesome things?  I’m not talking about major life events.  I’m talking about the little things – the guy who cut you off or the icy bridge that slowed you down.

What is the human condition that allows the 4 people who treated me poorly while at work to overshadow the 496 who complimented me?  Why should the one who told me in such a sweet manner my name was very fitting and I added “joy” to her day not be the FIRST thing I think about?

Writing it down does help.  I’m making a conscious decision to not write down the events of the less than positive interactions.  Believe me, I can recall the details very vividly.  Instead I’m choosing to remember the sweet kids who when they gave me their zip code I exclaimed, “HEY!  I grew up there!!!  There’s only one zip code for that area!!” and we had a good time talking about the local hangouts for a minute or two.  Or the sweet littles that come in and tell me all about their first time on the hill and how they love their new mittens.  Those are the interactions that need to occupy space in my brain.  When the other interactions, the mean ones, creep into my thoughts I want to shake myself and remind myself to focus on the positive.  To “be Teflon” as my therapist says.  Let the bad stuff roll right off.  When I accomplish the feat of focusing on the positive I know I have accomplished something,  Something good for me.  Something beneficial to my health.

In the now immortal words of Taylor Swift I pledge to “Shake it Off.”  I will let the haters hate and be Teflon and “Shake it off.”  I want to spend 39 loving life and focusing on the good.  On the fun.  Live a little more fully and maybe even break a few rules..  (That may be pushing the envelop a little…..)  I will say “Thank you!” to compliments and NOT shake those off.  I will treat myself in healthy ways and have more fun.

I plan to accomplish some of this today – while still 38.  I’m going to work today and treat myself with riding (snowboarding) tonight.  I’m going to enjoy the day and make the best of it.

What are you going to do to make today awesome?

You can watch the anthem of my Littles right here —> Taylor Swift – Shake It Off

This post is part of a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own –>set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

Screen Shot 2014-01-16 at 8.23.16 PM

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

Karen of Baking In a Tornado gave me  :

work ~ compliment ~ shake ~ health ~ accomplish ~ treat

Now grab a cup of something, sit back, and enjoy these links to the other amazing bloggers who participated today.

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                                 Baking In A Tornado

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com                      The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/                     Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com                                Juicebox Confession

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                             Someone Else’s Genius

http://themomisodes.com                                            The Momisodes

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/               Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                        Evil Joy Speaks

Cupcake Shmupcake

Let me paint you a picture.  It’s a work of art, so stick with it.  It’s good.  I promise.

It’s Wednesday.  Dr. Evil is in sunny California and won’t return until midnight Friday.  It’s snowing in Wisconsin.  Eldest Female Spawn turns 11 tomorrow.  She ‘needs’ a treat for the 23 classmates she has, the 10 girl scouts in her troop, and for the 10 girls coming to her party which is thankfully not until Friday (but before Dr. Evil returns….grrrrr).

As a surprise, I’m redoing her room while she’s at school.  I painted her room a few years ago for her birthday but got a little stripe happy.  Like I did stripes of various widths on every.single.wall.  It’s a little overwhelming and a bit jail like in there.

Given Dr. Evil being on travel, the sanding, taping, painting, and furniture rearrangement planned, and the fact that I have four spawn I made a decision.  I am not making the cupcakes.  I’m not using the awesome ombre frosting skills I taught myself over the weekend.

I’m going to Sam’s Club and  I’m buying those suckers.

Eldest Female Spawn and I head out.  We stop at Tar-jay Boutique (as we call it) to pick out party plates.

They didn’t have any.

So we made light of it and decided to head to Sam’s to pick up the desserts.

They didn’t have any cupcakes.  Or cakes.  Or muffins.  Or cookies (without pecans – she can’t have pecans…bring on the Benadryl!).  No snack cakes.  No pre-packaged treats either!

She was trying to keep a brave face but I could tell she was getting nervous.  I had to talk her into buying them in the first place as she wanted me to make them.  I had her sold on the perfection and beauty of purchased products that would be so much prettier than mine.  She knows my skills lie in the mathematical arena and even my artistic stick people don’t look quite right.

I throw on a brave face and we decide to head to the grocery store to get some things for dinner and look at what they have for cupcakes.  I’m making homemade mac cheese and need some blue and goat cheese to throw into the mix.


At this point, I’m starting to loose my mind.  Eldest Female Spawn doesn’t know I’m redoing her room for her birthday so while she’s convinced I can simply bake 2 million cupcakes while she’s at school I know I’m going to be up to my neck in paint.  We decide to look for cupcakes and plates at the grocery since we’re there and all.

Yeah…..you got it.  They didn’t have any cupcakes.  No cake.  Well – one carrot cake covered in walnuts…..the other of only TWO nuts she MUST not eat.  Seriously we’re talking hives of epic proportions.  And seriously – no paper plates?!?

Feeling slightly defeated we headed home.  I made mac cheese and all the spawn ate it – probably because I didn’t have any blue or goat cheese to add to make it more palatable to the adult in the family, me.  I got on-line to see if I could order anything for the parties and sure enough, the internet was down.  Are you freaking kidding me?!?  And Second Eldest Female Spawn had Skyped with her BFF in Seattle until my battery was dead on the my phone!

I ran to Home Depot to get the primer for her room.  Eldest Spawn was a good sport and babysat his siblings a little longer after seeing the look on my face when he asked where all the desserts were.

I ran into my friend Another Awesome Amy (different from Awesome Amy).  As her birthday is the same day as Eldest Female Spawn, she was empowered with magic.  She heard the tale of my woes, saw the sadness on my face and waved her fabulous fingers about.  I thought she was doing a happy dance because she saw the one and only ME!  But nope.  She was giving me a gift.  The best gift ever.

I went to my car with the things needed to do Eldest Female Spawn’s room and lo and behold, these were waiting in the car for me.




Relief hit me like a tidal wave.  Spawn were full and in bed.  I had the supplies and had hidden the surprise of the room redo.  And I had the desserts she desired for her day.

Take that grocery.  I beat you!!!  And here are the end results of her room….I like it if I do say so myself.  And a shout out to Awesome Amy (not the same as Another Awesome Amy) for taking her day and helping me.  And she continued to paint while I went to school to have lunch with Eldest Female Spawn.  I have such amazing and wonderful friends.  (Especially all of the Amys I know!)

This post was inspired by a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Secret Subject Swap

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

http://BakingInATornado.com                        Baking In A Tornado

http://themomisodes.com/                         The Momisodes

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                     Just A Little Nutty

http://followmehome.shellybean.com              Follow me home . . .

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/    Moore Organized Mayhem

http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                       The Sadder But Wiser Girl

http://dinoheromommy.com/                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://crazyasnormal.com                                     Crazy As Normal

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                   Searching for Sanity

http://dawnsdisaster.blogspot.com                           Dawn’s Disaster

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                               Menopausal Mother

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                           Evil Joy Speaks

The wonderful Dinosaur Superhero Mommy provided my prompt.  “You go to the grocery store and everything on your list is sold out. What do you do?”  Check her out, as well as all the others.  You’ll find some amazing bloggers in this group!!!!  And a special shout out to Karen from Baking in a Tornado for the hard work she does to make all this happen!!! Happy Friday!

EJ out – to hide the dessert cookie from Eldest Spawn who is literally drooling over it.

“What’s Up?”

So…what to write about today….  There are a million things on my mind.  And my mind is racing is through each and every one of those things – sometimes two or three at a time….so….like on the Price Is Right – I’ll spin the wheel – the winner is :

Dr. Evil’s Birthday.  Tomorrow….he’s having his birthday!  Woot Woot!

I woke up at 5 am this morning, fell back asleep and woke up at 5:45 to Dr. Evil chuckling.  I asked, “What’s up?”  He read me the forecast for tomorrow :

Screen Shot 2013-05-29 at 7.22.46 AM

At least the temps are in the 70’s, right?  Maybe ball will be rained out and we can cook dinner at home and eat all together, at the same time, not at 4:30pm, and not in a rush.  Yeah right!  Ball must go on – rain or shine – but not if there’s lightning…..

You know what else is tomorrow?  This will be delivered :

Screen Shot 2013-05-29 at 7.27.22 AM


THE Big Green Egg.  It’s coming people.  I have saved to cover part of the cost….the rest…well…it’ll be paid off next month.

I decided I was sick of Dr. Evil needing to purchase a new grill every couple of years due to maintenance, weather wear, or lack of craftsmanship.

So I did my research.  A lot of research.  A LOT of research.  I decided this was the best option.  Now….would Dr. Evil agree?  To find out – because frankly – at this cost – if it’s not perfect for him – I would be devastated.  So Saturday after his 20 mile run, my 15 mile run +5 mile injury walk, we got cleaned up (THANK GOD!), got in the truck – all six of us – stopped for pizza (too tired to cook after that run), then… onto the interstate.  He didn’t know where we were going – I just told him to get on I-494.  He guessed where we going shortly after I told him the 7th Street Exit.  (And…he saw my posts on Facebook about his grill and smoker free for the taking.)

Wow.  These things are impressive.  And expensive.  The research I had completed did not include the most recent price increase.  He looked – at several options.  I told him I didn’t care if he didn’t want The Big Green Egg but I wanted him to pick out a grill/smoker.  After receiving the sales pitch (and she knew her stuff) – we got an estimate – found out the delivery dates – and decided to think on it.

Several people had input – both good and bad – mostly good.  Dr. Evil decided…”Yes.”

So shortly here  I will be placing an order.  Because Dr. Evil rocks.  It’s his 39th birthday.  And I’m looking forward to celebrating it together – and celebrating each and every other day as well…except when he annoys my arse.  Then….I think about changing the locks.  Just kidding…sort of.  <INSERT EVIL GRIN>

Happy Birthday Dr. Evil!  I love you and glad you decided to – in your words – “not get stuck at 37” – (thoughts shared mid-run flow deep).


EJ out – to prepare two grills and one smoker for disposal.

Help a birthday celebrating Evil Joy out – click on the juggling lady there on the right.  You’ll cast a vote for me at the Top Mommy Blogs.  I’ve fallen out of the Top 10, the Top 20 and even more….help me get back to where I want to be!!!!

It’s Been A Year…

Since I graced you all with my presence!

And how thankful are you – I have no idea.  But I am so very thankful.

It’s pretty cool to think I could write something to make someone else smile.  I have a definite Evil Streak in Me, but I use it for the forces of GOOD!

I’m on a journey (aren’t we all).  I’m learning more about myself everyday and what is important to me.  This past year and a half has taught me the importance of family more so than ever before.  You family by birth, marriage, and friendship.  Family is defined so many ways – and I’m so glad to have people in each of the before mentioned categories.

A year ago, I posted my first blog post.  It was more of a hint for Dr. Evil to read all of the Facebook stuff that happened while he was sick.  I wanted to him to understand what it was like from the other side, but more importantly, just how many people where pulling for him.  Supporting our family, keeping us afloat, and me mostly sane.

Since then, this has evolved into…I don’t know what.  I write about what I want to each time.  I tried following ‘my’ formula for a while…now…just write whatever is in my head or heart that day.  Some funny – like this one.  Other more serious – like this one.  And others yet – just what I wanted to write about that day.

And the amazing blogs I’ve found along the way – so many I can’t even begin to list them here.  But Snarkfest has become a friend.  And I get to meet her in May in REAL LIFE!

Anyway – since it seems so self-serving to wish myself Happy Blog-O-Birthday, I thought I should do a giveaway.  You have until midnight on 29 March, 2013 to enter.  Click the link below to take you to my Facebook Page where you may enter!

Click HERE!

The winner chosen at random using Rafflecopter gets their choice of one of the beautiful things in the picture below.  Provided by SUNDAR IMPORTS!  Check them out – they are amazing and their Pop-Up Boutique is coming in April!!!

Provided by SUNDAR IMPORTSWinner drawn at random will choose ONE of these three fabulous fair trade items from Sunday Imports.

Winner drawn at random will choose ONE of these three fabulous fair trade items from Sunday Imports.


Thanks for sticking around, coming back, and sending new people (hint, hint!) my way.

EJ out – to get a quick run in before tomorrow’s 10 miles!

Tic Toc Tuesday….It’s almost GiveAway Time!

Provided by SUNDAR IMPORTSWinner drawn at random will choose ONE of these three fabulous fair trade items from Sunday Imports.

Winner drawn at random will choose ONE of these three fabulous fair trade items from Sunday Imports.

Friday Evil Joy Speaks will be 1 YEAR OLD!!!  

Can you believe it?!

In a year, I’ve shared over 250 posts, had 18,000 page views, and made at least one person laugh…once along the way.

To celebrate – one winner will be drawn at random to receive their choice of one of three fabulous options as a prize.  All provided by SUNDAR IMPORTS!  The fabulous ladies over there generously supplied the gorgeous items shown above.  Go visit them on Facebook – Sundar Imports.  Show them the love.  When their pop-up boutique opens in Hudson there is a line all the way down the block.

Details will be posted tomorrow on how to enter the random drawing.  Check back!

EJ out – to make tuna noodle casserole from scratch.  I’m out of cream of mushroom soup…and that has gluten in it anyways…..

It’s My Blog-O-Birthday Week!!

So Evil Joy Speaks will be 1 on Friday.  Good Friday.  Ironic don’t ya think?

Well, in honor of my awesome wonderful amazing talented blog turning one, I am doing a give away.  For my birthday.  To you.  (what – isn’t that backwards?)

Sundar Imports has generously agreed to let the winner select one choice of three beautiful options :

earrings, bracelet, or headband

from their beautiful and fair trade inventory.  Pictures to come.  (Hint – my favorite colors are blues and greens…choices may have those colors involved….)

Check back to see about entering.  Details posted on Wednesday 27 March.


EJ out – to write a post about my morning.  Lying Spawn and Don’t Mess with Mama Mondays…..

The 8th Anniversary of my 29th Birthday!

Okay – so maybe I’m an attention whore – but it’s my birthday and I love to celebrate!  I think we should each have a birthday week – well – most people.  Because even though it’s the 8th Anniversary of my 29th Birthday – life continues.  I mean normal every day life.  Running the kids around.  Breaking up arguments.  Dishes, dishes everywhere.  The laundry.  And due to my own inattention to detail…. lots of running around dropping things off and picking up other things.

Eldest Spawn is in ski club.  He doesn’t ski – he snowboards.  It sounded really cool – this big bus takes the spawn from the middle school out to Afton after classes and then returns them to the parking lot around 8:30pm on Thursdays.  Problem is the school won’t allow any equipment into the building.  Basically I end up driving his stuff to the parking lot – waiting for him – handing it off – driving home.  I told him to put his bag on the counter and I’d throw in the food I packed for him later and put it in the truck with the boards.


I forgot the #()F*()D bag!!!  AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!  It’s not that we live far from the school – it’s about a 15 minute drive.  But back and forth, back and forth….yuck.

Since Dr. Evil is doing Junior Achievement at the Female Spawn’s elementary school, he is there at the end of the day and takes them to Afton after school ends.  I knew he hadn’t left yet because elementary school gets out about an hour after middle school.

After dropping off his board, I flew home.  Made sandwiches and drinks for everyone, got Eldest Spawn’s bag (gah), and flew to the elementary school.  Where I dumped everything in Dr. Evil’s car.  Didn’t even stick around to see him.

Then I made it home.  Here I am.  I need to get Littlest Spawn and I ready to go.  She doesn’t last as long as the rest of us.  Then again, she’s only 5.  Normally tonight would be the night where I relive Dr. Evil of Female Spawn duty but I decided since it’s the 8th Anniversary of my 29th Birthday I was going to have fun and he has to do all the work!  Bawahahahahahahaha!

So – Happy Birthday to me!  Hope anyone else out there who shares my birthday has a stellar day!

EJ out – to prep yet another Spawn for snowboarding!

Send me some birthday love – click on the Top Mommy Blogs icon to vote for me.  You can follow me on Twitter @eviljoyspeaks.  You can follow me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/eviljoyspeaks.  Come on – you know you want to!


I photo bombed my own picture - happy bday D!!!

I photo bombed my own picture – happy bday D!!!

It’s Official – I’m Crazy Joy

Evil Joy here with a temporary reassignment of name…EJ will now be CJ until 08 December 2012.

Why you ask?  Let me tell you……

In my Crazy Wisdom, I decided to have a double birthday party for two of my female spawn.  Not just a double party…

A Double Sleep Over Party.

WTHeck was I thinking?  Let me tell you……

  • Get it all done at once
  • Do it on a Friday night so we have Saturday and Sunday to recover
  • Don’t want to disappoint either spawn – one has been waiting two years for a party – the other had her party the day Dr. Evil got sick last year.  Need new memories
  • Because I’m FREAKING CRAZY!
  • And I love them both to pieces and then some.

Now I know some of the spawns’ friends don’t do sleep overs so they can be picked up around 9 or 10 pm.  That’s all good with me.  And…I am making parents get out of bed and get their spawn from my house at 9 am on Saturday.  (Unless you’re like my Crazy self and Dr. Evil who miscommunicate and leave our spawn at a sleep over party until 2pm the next day!!!  Sorry friend….)

So send me some good energy, karma, prayers …. anything.  I’m excited about this party – not dreading it as I thought I would…nervous about having parties because of last year – but like I said time for new CRAZY memories in this house.  We deserve them!!!!









EJ out – to party plan and make sure there’s enough nail polish and remover to go around at the party.  (parents – I apologize now.)

Help an Evil, Wild, Crazy Joy out and cast a vote for me by clicking on the Top Mommy Blogs juggling lady there in the corner.  I appreciate it a ton!!!

One Year since EJ was Spawned….Woot Woot!!

Evil Joy here with a post on getting older.  And that being gooder.

Yup.  A year ago today, EJ came to life.  While Evil Joy Speaks isn’t a year old yet, EJ has spread the happiness on Facebook for exactly one year.

Here’s that first post….on Facebook…


26 Nov 2011

Evil Joy here with a sarcastic update for my followers: As many of you know Brent has a short beard and I strongly dislike it!!!!! Well. Another wonderful person here at the hospital that I know from Hudson mentioned the first thing she does to her ICU men is shave off those beards. I looked at her and smiled a conspiratory grin. And his nurse for the day said he’d try to get to it if he can. If not “She’ll be back tonight!”

Off with the beard I say!

Happy to say last night I shaved Dr. Evil’s head (at his request) and he’s off and running (literally) this morning already.

Woot Woot! It’s my birthday It’s my birthday!!

Party like it’s my birthday!!!  And to celebrate – I gave up the sweet nectar of life today.  God Help those around me.  Be nice!!  Or I’ll definitely go Evil on Your Arse!

EJ out – to get my second cup of *gulp* coffee.


If you want to get me a present but are too cheap – simply click on the Top Mommy Blogs link to cast a vote for yours truly.  Thanks!

Two in Double Digits….


Evil Joy here with a post on Election Day….or as it’s known in our house…Eldest Female Spawn’s Birthday EVE.

Tomorrow…I will have two spawn in double digits.  She’s going to be 10.  WTHeck?  When did that happen?

She may be the one who gives me a reason to post some days…but she is so very special to me.  Eldest Female Spawn has the biggest heart, the kindest soul, and the sweetest hugs of anyone I know.  I am blessed to have her in my life.

Evil Awesome Amy came over bearing chocolate sugar cookies in the shape of horses for us to decorate.  I added my attempt at flowers….together we ended up with….













EJ out – to check on Eldest Female Spawn – really – just to watch her sleep – she’s so very peaceful when she rests…..


Take a minute and share the happiness….Click on the Top Mommy Blogs Juggling Lady icon on the right side of the page.  One click is all it takes.  If you’re reading this not on the site, you have to visit my blog page to vote.  Thanks!!!!

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