Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: Boosters

Fall Time, Fall Time, I'm Hitting the Wall Time….

Okay.  I recognize and accept full responsibility for having four spawn.  I get it.  I wanted them.  I got them.  I get to raise them.

But can I get a damn day off once in a while?  Is that too much to ask?

I recently went on a laundry strike.  More so because my dryer was awful and no one helped me with the task.  So I stopped doing certain people’s laundry unless it snuck in with another load mistakenly.  Passive aggressive much?  Me?  No, never……

I’m also on a cleaning the bathrooms strike.

See the thing is – I CLEAN OTHER PEOPLE’S HOUSES FOR A LIVING.  So that I may be home, stay home, go to events with these precious spawn I spawned.  I hold a Bachelors of Science in Applied Mathematics.  I used to train soldiers, sailors, and pilots how to use computer systems, about upgrades on their large weapons systems, and I ran the Train the Trainer sessions.  I had a job where I got dressed up, went to work, acted professional, worked late and drove home.  And traveled.   But in order to spend time home and not on the road we decided long ago I would stay home.  I LONGED to stay home with my babies.  I wanted to stay home.  I loved being with my kids.  I still do.  I adore the fact that I make my own schedule and at the drop of a hat…. I can have lunch with the Littles or help in a class room.  I am here for friends who need before school care.  I love having all the kids hang here – I LOVE IT.

But honestly, fall kicks my evil arse.  I.  Am.  Tired.

Photo on 9-18-14 at 8.15 AM #2

Football five nights a week.  Running for one spawn every night of the week – although from home – cross country wasn’t a good fit so she’s taking on herself and running here at the house.  Every night.  Girl Scouts, Fall Ball, Boy Scouts, Boosters, Benchwarmers.  School starting, homework, early bed times, weekend tournaments.

Life with four.  And I signed up for it.

And I LOVE IT.  Please don’t send me hate mail about how lucky I am to have my children.  I know and appreciate it.  We lost one early on so I really get how lucky I am.

That doesn’t mean I can’t be overwhelmed at times.

So I am decreeing Friday night – whole house CLEANING night.  We do whole house pickup every time I loose my shit – I mean – on a regular basis.  Picking up is easy.  Cleaning isn’t bad either.  Unless you’ve already cleaned three houses in one day and come home to toilets that are more disgusting than the public pots at the bus station.

Watch out spawn.  You are going to clean.  And you’re going to clean properly.

Because Saturday I want a day off.  Except for the softball tournament an hour away.  I’m a coach by force.  Dr. Evil is coach and by proxy so am I.  But then…THEN…we will come home to a tidy house.  A clean house.  Except for the messes the dogs will make because they’re left home yet again.

And next week, it’s a new week of chaos.  My lovely chaos.  And it makes me happy.   Tired at times….but Happy.

EJ out – to clean up before Dad of Evil Joy makes a somewhat surprise visit to watch Eldest play football!!  Go Raiders!!!

I could use a little love over at Top Mommy Blogs.  If you could take one click – just click on that juggling lady there up on the right (scroll down on mobile devices), you’ll cast a vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs.  You don’t have to do anything else at all!!!  Thanks friends!!!

Summer Vacay


Summer is Approaching…Summer is Approaching.

Do you think of summer vacation as a trip … or a period of time where your spawn are not in school?

Last year, we didn’t go anywhere big….just camping.  In the camper Dr. Evil purchased as part of his ‘screw you I lived!’ campaign.  We didn’t get the camper until late July and still managed to get 4 trips in before school started.  It was pretty good – a lot of learning – a lot of fun – and a lot of plans made for repeat trips!

However, the other definition of summer vacation : spawn out of classes.

So…with the rose-colored glasses I’m currently wearing, we’ll be going to the beach (man-made Lake Elmo – we live in the midwest people).  We’ll go the library (once I pay off the fine I have for returning a book the spawn decided to leave in the rain).  We’ll have picnics and hike at the local Willow River State Park.

Baseball, softball, machine pitch 2 softball, and t-ball will be a treasured time where I will be able to make all the games and get everyone everywhere with the required equipment and clean uniforms.  The concession stocking and cleaning won’t be that bad and it’s sort of fun to deliver buns to 3 locations as far across town as you can get every. single. week.

We’ll work on maintaining the knowledge they gained at school in the current year by reviewing and reading daily.

–reality check—

Dr. Evil is still traveling a lot for work.  A lot.  Like 4 or 5 days a week, every week, from here to California.  When he is home, he’s juggling his work responsibilities, Booster board and webmaster responsibilities, our spawn activity load – especially Boy Scouts, and dealing with me.  Who is typically okay with the travel.  Except when I’m not.  When I’m done.  When I’m grumpy the last thing tended to on that list is me.  But I digress.

Baseball and softball (times 3) practices will inevitably conflict.  With only one of me and four spawn – none of which are old enough to drive – that makes for a lot of hurrying up and waiting – get to one practice – wait through it for the next one to begin. Thank God for good friends.  And clean uniforms – are you kidding me?!  They’re lucky if they have the right color of shirt on – we have so many from playing for multiple years on multiple teams I often forget which shirt is the current shirt and which is used for sleep clothing!  The beach is often met with resistance from Eldest Spawn who wants to sit home and play video games.  The library – every summer I have great intentions…which fall by the baseball-side every year.  And Willow River – we’ll go there – and fight the mosquitos.  But man – it is beautiful – hiking there is amazing.

Honestly, I like summer.  But I feel the pull of being super mom even more in the summer.  There’s a lot of kids who spend summers going on great trips or attending wonderful camps.  We spend the summer hanging out, swimming in our pool (which we set up in June), and jumping on the trampoline.  The slip and slide works great here because the yard is mostly flat (and poop free) so they can really fly…especially if you add just a touch of dish soap.  We will take the camper to places close by and hike and ride bikes and swim.  I let them watch television during the hot parts of the day and sometimes even more than that.  I try to plan trips to fun places in the cities…sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t.  I hope my spawn remember the times we spend together…the everyday fun we have.

I hope my spawn remember summer fondly.  I hope they enjoy the time we have together.  I know I do.

(most of the time)

EJ out – to run so I can play and get ready for visiting Dr. Evil in California!

This is part of Something Clever 2.0: Theme Thursday – a multi-blog collaboration. Click the button above to read posts from other bloggers, or to add your own.

You have got to check out Something Clever 2.0.  Aaaaaa.mmmazzz.balzzzz.

And if you’re feeling the love, click on the juggling flashing lady up there.  One click.  You’ll be redirected to the Top Mommy Blogs website.  You’re done then.  You can close the window … or you can browse around and find some more awesome blogs to follow!  Thanks!

Evil Chair…Yeah…it’s the Chair…..

Evil Joy here with a post on chairs, feet, stuck feet, and painful release of said stuck foot.

Image
 
Need I say more?  
 
 
Well of course I need say more – it’s meeee!
 
As if driving to Iowa with Eldest Female Spawn for a weekend of fun taking a turn for not fun wasn’t enough…..Mom of Evil Joy ended up in the hospital with a sore neck.  And no, it’s not because I’m a pain in the neck.  Bite me.
 
See, I’m going to be a Great Aunt.  Not just a Great Aunt – I’m already that…just ask me…I’ll tell ya!  My Eldest Nephew and his wife are having a baby!!!!!  So I’m going to be a Awesome Great Aunt.  (didn’t want to confuse any of you with saying I’ll be a great Great Aunt….)
 
And due to becoming said Awesome Great Aunt, attending a baby shower in Iowa is Awesome Evil Fun!  (Shopping for said baby shower even more Awesome Evil Fun!!!!!!)
 
Evil Silliness led to me running a 5K, attending baseball tournament for Eldest Spawn in our hometown, and then driving 5 hours to Iowa with Eldest Female Spawn.  All in 12 hours.  Tired Evil Joy resulted.  
 
Then the Evil Sore Neck for Evil Joy’s Mom.  Resulting in Evil Hospital Stay.  Resulting in Evil Joy sitting in my usual not normal fashion – criss cross applesauce, one leg crossed….any which way but the normal way is how I roll.  Resulting in…….
 
Image
 
After I was able to have a minute or two with no one in the room but Sleeping Mom of Evil Joy and Evil Joy, I was able to free my Evil Stuck Foot from the Evil Chair Claiming My Foot.  I had to wait until it was just the two of us as Evil Words were bound to escape my mouth as my foot escaped said Evil Chair.
 
So….Evil Chair.  Bite me.  Wait – you sort of already did that…don’t bite me.  Or anyone else.
 
Evil Joy – stop getting limbs stuck in places they don’t belong.
 
Mom of Evil Joy – Get out of the hospital.  Come hang out with Evil Joy.
 
EJ out – to begin a day of Scattering Joy to those fortunate enough to know me.  Bawhahahahahaha!

© 2019 Evil Joy Speaks

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑