Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: cars


I’ve had all these random thoughts for blogs posts going through my brain.  Finally I’ve decided to just list them out – in a blog post.

1.  So…Littlest Spawn – she barfed all over the floor of the ski chalet.  And all over herself.  And the wall.  And no one would freaking help me.  I was basically doing the splits to block the area so no one would walk through with their boarding or ski boots and everyone just stared.  Finally a nice woman got us some napkins – Littlest Spawn had puke all over her sweet little face.  And told I yelled at the guy working there who was avoiding my stare to get someone to help me.  What the heck people?!  Finally a nice gentleman went and hurried the young guy avoiding my stare and yells to get moving.  They brought out a mop and wet floor sign and then asked if we were okay.  Five full minutes later.  Standing over a puddle of puke with a sick child for five full minutes.  I would like to use a word other than full in that previous sentence…but…I won’t.  I was so angry.  But Littlest Spawn is the best sick kid around.  She didn’t even cry.  Not even when I threw away her favorite shirt.  And made her wear just her coat with snow pants home.  Poor baby.  She’s lucky I didn’t throw up on her – during the FIVE FULL MINUTES I was standing there.  I have the world’s weakest stomach.


2.  Eldest Spawn is earning money today from Dr. Evil.  For not playing XBox for 24 hours.  I would not pay for this.  I would take the XBox and put it in the car and drive to work.  But he’s paying …. so I’m along for the ride.

3.  I drove to clean for a friend.  They have a really steep driveway.  I have a truck stuck in 4-wheel drive.  (The part is on order.)  I couldn’t get up their icy driveway…it took me four tries – and several times laughing….I almost cried I was laughing so hard….I was envisioning myself falling up and then down the driveway if I couldn’t get the truck up there….and then freezing to the driveway – waiting to be rescued by the jaws of life cutting away the driveway.

4.  Later that same day – now…night.  Going to Awesome Amy’s house to feed her frog since they’re off on spring break.  Remember the snow storms that hit the midwest?  We got around 10 inches.  Her driveway hadn’t been plowed.  It’s flat.  It’s curvy.  I have a truck stuck in 4-wheel drive.  It’s the first winter I’ve had a truck.  Used to my mini-van – in which I would have NEVER attempted to get up her driveway.  But …. I HAVE A TRUCK … I’ll go up the driveway.  And get hopelessly stuck.  For a full five minutes.  Again laughter is filling the car.  Finally get up there.  Feed the frog.  With Peter Gabriel’s “Kiss That Frog” song stuck in my head.  And then….it’s time to back out of said long curvy flat driveway.  And get so hopelessly stuck again that I nearly pee my pants laughing!  7 minutes later – I think I left a skid mark or two on her driveway (I’ll be over there with a scrub brush in the spring) – I finally made it out.  Dr. Evil kept texting me to see where I was and then he told me….

5.  We were watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail with the spawn.  Another rite of passage for our spawn.  They are begotten of us geeks.  We have the movie down so well we know where to yell loud gibberish if there is swearing and where to send the spawn off to get blankets, take a bathroom break, or get a snack if there’s inappropriate scenes…only one or two.. mostly drawn…..  They laughed so hard.  “They call me….Tim.”


I’m sure one or more of these may turn into a full blog post at some point in time….but I sort of like the randomness of this.  So….here ya go.


EJ out – to clean some more.  And do the laundry that goes along with puking spawn.  Two of them.

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Evil Ice

Evil Joy here with a post on ice.  And the result of said Evil Ice.

So Monday was warm and sort of yucky.  Monday night – not so warm….resulting in Evil Ice on Tuesday morning….resulting in a two-hour delay for school…and then resulting in a school cancellation because before mentioned Evil Ice wouldn’t cooperate with melting agents.  So was does Evil Joy do on a day to icy to have school?

Drive 20 miles to Afton Alps to snowboard.  Eldest Spawn was still recovering from being sick on Monday – fine – just didn’t want to push it.  So I stuck him on Littles Duty – watching the two littlest Spawn.  And Eldest Female Spawn and I took off …. a mile across the neighborhood and parked in Awesome Amy’s driveway.  As only the two of us were going (instead of the five…) we were able to ride in her truck!  Snowboarding gear takes up room….even big vehicles are sometimes not big enough.  I parked in her drive.

Where I parked.

Where I parked.

And off we went.  We had an AMAZING day.  I joined in on Awesome Amy’s celebrating (she had some good things happen on Tuesday – including getting carded for wine!).  We got off the bunny hill!  Hopped on some new chair lifts.  New routes.  It.Rocked.Big.Time.

Finally around 5 we called it quits and headed home.  As we came around the corner I thought my truck looked out of place.

Nah – can’t be – it’s just the angle of the highway to Awesome Amy’s house – she lives further west than I do.

As we approached….ummmm…no….my truck slid down her driveway!  Immediately I thought, “Did I put it in park?  Did I put the parking brake on?”

Yes and Yes.

Magic Moving Truck

Magic Moving Truck


And yes, the first picture is a reenactment of my original parking job.  The second picture is the actual location of said truck when we arrived at Awesome Amy’s house.


Listen here Evil Ice : You may have made my truck move but you gave me a day with my spawn and friend.  So while I’m pissed you thought it acceptable to move my vehicle without my permission, thanks for the extra time.  Now…stay away and let the spawn attend school.  Let your friend snow know I’m all for her.  Bring on the snow.  We need snow.  I love snow.  Please send snow.  Please….

EJ out – to rescue the puppy from the loving ‘hugs’ of spawn.


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