Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: chicken noodle soup

I Failed At Soup : A Tale Of Mush

You know when you try to a good thing? I tried.

I failed miserably.

Soup. I failed at soup. How does one fail at soup you ask? Let me tell you.

I should have known things would go south from the start. The chicken was simmering as I sautéed the vegetables. I prepared the spices and noodles – although my normal noodles were hiding so I grabbed the closest ones I could find. I got everything ready to assemble into the crock pot and quickly realized I had no stock, broth, or base. None.

Well crap. I guess a store run is in order.

I got the missing broth and finished making the soup – the same way I do every.single.time.  My family loves this dinner – we all eat it all – including the leftovers. It’s a standard fare in the winter – probably twice a month. Lucky for me (and the teachers) I decided to give it one last stir before packing it up for school. It smelled amazing but the color was a tad off.

As I stirred I realized I didn’t see the nice, firm noodles I was accustomed to finding. But I did find mushy, gross, floury like strings of stuff.


I now had an exceptionally large crockpot full of crap. Total and complete crap. It was terrible. I only had 20 minutes before I needed to leave and deliver the offending soup to school. What to do???

The fact that I have ton of children played in my favor. I tend to triple recipes….one for dinner, one for left overs, and one to freeze. There was still a pot of broth, veggies, and chicken left uncontaminated by noodles. I had just made a ton of brown rice for my lunches for the week. I grabbed that crockpot, threw in the rice, and packed it up for school. Good enough right? Let’s get this show on the road.

Dr. Evil was on travel and I was driving his beloved car. Let’s just say I thank God for those plastic, made to fit, awesome floor liners. The soup did NOT travel well. I finally got this soup concoction to school, cleaned his car up, and went to the gym.

I vow to never make soup for school again. Ever.

Sour cream in a container from the store?  Sign me up for that stuff.




Who Killed This Chicken?

Evil Joy here with a post on the comments from a 4 year’s old mouth and my lack on imagination when it comes to answering said questions.

So Littlest Spawn is helping me prepare dinner after a long (but good) day at preschool.  Out of nowhere….

LS : “Mom, I really feel bad for this chicken.  I don’t think I’ll feel good about eating dinner tonight.”

Me : “Why do you feel that way?”

LS : “The chicken.  It got killed.  Who killed it?  Do they eat chicken?  Or did we just get it from the store?  It’s not a real chicken right – like with feathers and stuff?”

Me : “Yes.  This was a real chicken with feathers and legs and a beak.  It was killed and prepared so we could eat it.  Circle of life honey.”

LS : “Does that mean someone is going to eat me?!?”

Me : In lieu of the statement I wanted to make “Well – if dinosaurs were out there or if you get lost in a jungle, yes, honey someone may well eat you.”  I instead said, “No sweetheart.  No one is going to eat you.”

She was still really perplexed by the whole thing.  Wanted to know exactly how the chicken died, where it lived before that, and why it decided to become dinner.  Why did the chicken decide to die?

She may have been perplexed, but she was hungry too.  As she was shredding the meat for chicken noodle soup, she kept eating it.

I called her out on it and made her wash her hands anytime she touched her mouth.

LS : “But Mom, he wanted to eaten right?  I’m doing my best to make him happy.  And I’m hungry.”

Good point Littlest Spawn, good point.

EJ (aka Chicken Murderer Supporter) out – to fill out forms about Spawn – I wish there was a place we could send everyone to where the info they wanted was safely stored – like Data Warehousing For Parents…..

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(graphic source :http://clclt.com/theclog/archives/2012/02/10/playing-chicken-two-political-foes-become-allies-imagine-that,http://www.finecooking.com/item/9392/five-tips-for-the-perfect-roast-chicken)

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