For years I’ve kept a secret. It eats me up inside and I’ve decided it’s time to come clean. In the past three months two new temptations have led me to this confession.
I love to huff newborn baby heads.
That smell. That amazing, sweet, glorious scent only found on babies’ heads. I could breathe deeply and slowly all day long. There would most likely be a bald spot from the constant inhaling I would do given the opportunity to hold a little one for as long as possible. The immense pleasure I find in the huffing of baby heads is indescribable. I think one of the reasons I had so many children was to get my fix.
My baby is eight and no longer has that huffable new baby smell. She’s more likely to wear “I’ve played in the yard for five hours straight while wearing sunscreen and sweating profusely” eau de parfum. And the teenagers…wow. Just wow. I can’t handle perfume in general – it triggers migraines for me – but sometimes I’d rather have a headache than deal with the odor of multiple kids playing multiple sports in all kinds of weather. I’ve driven home with my head literally out the window of my tuck.
But I digress.
I love to smell those new babies, hold them, and have them hold a finger of mine. And then when they want mama or daddy, I hand them over, and walk away! I get to enjoy those little creatures but don’t have to do any of the work! This is the life!
I had dreams of being retired and white haired, rocking new born babies in the hospital while their mamas rested. My friend who’s an OB nurse informed me that practice stopped years ago. Evidently they don’t let just any white haired lady waltz in and rock fussy babies. I. Was. DEVASTATED? What am I going to do in retirement? How will I get my huffable baby head fix?!
I’ll deal with retirement…in retirement. For now…I have new family members to meet and
I look forward to
huffing holding my newest great-nephew and great-niece sooner than later. I need my fix. NOW! So if I ask to smell your baby I swear I’m not a weirdo. I just have an appreciation for the finer things in life. And I will return your child shortly. Or when they cry or need a new diaper.
I swear I can smell his sweet head through this picture. (here’s one of the newest babies for your viewing! Posted with his parents’ permission of course!)