Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: fear (page 1 of 2)

PTSD Sucks

My husband had surgery in mid December. He got hurt snowboarding. I didn’t deal well with any of it.

PTSD sucks. 

Seeing him semi-conscious pre-surgery with a nasal cannula, hooked up to an I.V., with blankets covering him to his chin put me back to a place I never want to return. His eyes were closed, his breathing was slow, and I was helpless.

It wasn’t the same thing. He was going to wake up and be just fine. Not have to learn to walk again. Not have to be in the hospital for weeks. Not come home and be helpless.

PTSD sucks.

My behavior was normal. Completely and totally normal. My mind remembered the fear and anxiety and my body reacted. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I was testy and OCD about the house being tidy. I made sure everything was done and done properly and then would sit in my closet with the door shut and sob uncontrollably until one of the kids needed me. Finally my husband told me I was scaring the kids and needed to go to the doctor. That statement, “You’re scaring the kids,” punched me in the gut. The kids have always come to me with their problems and fears. Always me.

PTSD sucks. 

I went to the doctor. She assured me I wasn’t the awful human being I, in that moment, believed myself to be. She explained anger can be extreme anxiety. That my body was using muscle memory of a traumatic event and that was why I hadn’t been able to eat more than a yogurt a day in over a week. She told me….it was time to go back on anxiety meds for a little while. I sat there and cried, relived to hear I wasn’t going crazy, I wan’t going to be like this forever, and that I wasn’t an awful human.

PTSD sucks.

The sun didn’t shine in my world for a while. I was still upset and testy. I worried incessantly about my husband, his interpretation of rules, and his recovery. I quickly learned to keep that to myself as he’s an adult and unlike last time, he’s just fine. I was trying to control a situation that wasn’t mine to control. Letting go was, and is hard, but necessary.

Last week, I felt like myself for the first time since he got hurt. I didn’t plaster a smile on my face and chatter out of fear of anyone seeing through my act. Those closest to me knew better but respected my need to attempt to act normal. I smiled a real smile. Laughed without forcing it. I went snowboarding without guilt. I found my happy.

PTSD sucks.

You just have to see it through to the other side.

Time to Fly

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 13 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Climaxed submitted this awesome topic : Someone has come up with a potion (Harry Potter style) that will bring luck to anyone who drinks it. You’re offered a free test if you write about your day on your blog with the caveat that you wait for something pretty important going on–meaning the company doesn’t want you to take it and write about a regular but super lucky day at home. They’re really wanting you to test the boundaries of the potion and show your audience what it can do. What might you use yours for? Write about your luckiest day.

Here goes….

“Today’s the day!” I think as I pack up my gear for a day at the hill. I’m going to go and attack the jumps and features for the first time while snowboarding. Normally I’d just head over and ride, starring at the tow rope pulling people up to the top of the terrain park. Normally I’d watch on the lift, cranking my head around as far as I can, in awe of people in the park.

Today…I’m doing it. Because today…I get to try the “Potion.” Since I’m not allowed to enter politics or the medical field on this trial of the potion, I can’t find the solution for world peace or the cure for MS or cancer. I’m supposed to make a day extraordinary by pushing my boundaries within my own world. I decided if I can do these things I’ve dreamed of doing, have worked towards but not yet achieved, and succeed with this potion, there’s hope for making it happen without the potion too!

I’m a decent snowboarder. I can get out of most anything I get into….except that one time when my son had to rescue my laughing self when I got into too thick of trees. (He heard me “cackling” and found me, found us a route out, and marveled I had gotten that deep without hugging a tree!) It may not be pretty or perfect, but I love a good challenge and will take on moguls and steeps with a smile on my face and in my heart.

Boxes, features, and jumps….uummmm nope. I have done some boxes – at the speed of snail – going so slowly that I fall due to lack of forward motion not balance.  Jumps…I dream. I dream of finding that right combination of physics, fear, exhilaration, and skill.

Today I do. I’ve decided this is the test. My personal ultimate test of the “Potion.” Today will erase the memories of being stuck with a child on an icy hill, not visible from above, not able to get her to move, as people and their harsh words flew around us. Today will replace the days of doubt and make the mountains of bruises worth it. I will jump and feel like I’m flying. And it will be awesome.

I put the potion in my front pocket, ride the lift to the top, and get off. I am so terribly fearful of the lift – it’s really ridiculous. But I don’t want to waste the potion on something I should not fear and have conquered several times over. I strap in, drink the potion down, and take a test run.

Okay. This is okay. I can do this. I carve a little. And back to to the top we go.

Back up. To the top.

Time to fly.

IMG_1153 (1)



Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:


Baking In A Tornado

The Bergham Chronicles

Spatulas on Parade

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver

Southern Belle Charm

Confessions of a part time working mom

Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

The Lieber Family Blog

Never Ever Give Up Hope

When I Grow Up




Fear No More

As I sit surrounded by the sounds of laughter and heart warming chatter of a quaint coffee shop I can write about a fear. A fear I don’t have to face anymore.


I used to be afraid of thinking about what my life would be if something happened to my husband or children.

I’ve faced that fear. Not by choice. And you know what? I came out the other side.

Almost three years ago Dr. Evil got sick. Really sick. Life support sick. Almost died sick.

It sucked. I don’t have words to describe the experience although I’ve tried. Many times.

Life threw us a curve ball most fear and no one expects.

But we came out the other side. Wiser. Thankful. More aware of mortality. Less focused on the silly things. Point is ….. we came out the other side.

I’ve made some absolutely amazing friends. I’ve folded many people into my “family.” Family is thicker than simply blood. And I’ve grown as a person. I strive to be better.

I no longer worry incessantly about the wellbeing of my children. Instead I work at being a better parent. A better partner. A better person. To be more. While learning to just ….. be. Those statements may seem in direct conflict with each other. But one thing overcoming my fear taught me was I must focus some on myself in order to be more. To be a better wife and parent.

As fall approaches I am nervous. I think I may always be but only time will tell. November and December are tough months for me.

But they are also months filled with miracles. Dr. Evil got sick BUT HE ALSO GOT BETTER during these months too. (And many of the following months too!)

It’s taken me a few years to deal with my fear. I do still worry. What parent or spouse doesn’t? But fear no longer dictates my every thought, every breath.

I just try to live for today and make the most of it.

EJ out – to love this Friday with snow forecasted!!! SNOWBOARDING SOON!!! 🏂🏂🏂🏂🏂🏂🏂🏂🏂🏂

Thanks to Small Talk Mama for this awesome subject. I only did one fear but it was a doozie so I hope that’s okay!!!!

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week, 14 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

My subject is “What are some fears from your past that no longer frighten you?”. It was submitted by http://www.smalltalkmama.com Small Talk Mama .

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://themomisodes.com The Momisodes
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade
http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/ Stacy Sews and Schools
http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com The Bergham’s Life Chronicles
http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com Evil Joy Speaks
http://dinoheromommy.com/ Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
http://www.silenceofthemom.blogspot.com Silence of the Mom
http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com Climaxed
http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/ Sparkly Poetic Weirdo
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com Someone Else’s Genius
http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com Crumpets and Bollocks
http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/ Confessions of a part-time working mom
http://www.smalltalkmama.com Small Talk Mama

Absence Makes the Heart…

Grow fonder?  Right – you’ve all missed me right?  Say yes, please – my fragile ego would love that.

Well, absence makes my heart beat like a wild and crazy thing afraid it’s going to stop.

Yes, it’s that time of year again folks.  The “anniversary” of Dr. Evil’s ‘birth.’ degree earning spawning.

And he’ll be in Germany on the three days that rock my world.  Making new and happy memories.  Wait – he doesn’t have many memories of those three days – just feeling like crap for a day or two and then that’s it until December 1st.  (And that post – the one for December 1st – is going to rock folks – I’m planning it already.)

I will be here.  With our spawn.  Trying to make fun new memories.

While not reliving the bad ones.  At least not over and over.  And over.

There’s the 19th – we had the birthday party for Eldest Female Spawn – he was miserable.  There’s the 20th – it was a Sunday and he felt like a mac truck ran him over.  Then there’s the 21st.  The day they put him in a coma.  For a LONG FREAKING 10 days.  And that was 2 years ago.  One day, hopefully soon, I won’t be ruled during these days by fear but will rejoice in the new memories made.  Be more thankful than fearful.  More “look what we’ve done in the time since ‘then.'”  More “oh yeah – that one time in November we went on this amazing trip – and oh yeah – it did coincide with the days he got sick – I didn’t realize those days lined up again….”

This year – I’m so thankful because I’m fearful if I’m not thankful enough….something bad will happen.

I know this isn’t true.  But that doesn’t stop the thought from rolling around in my head.  Especially after he pulled this one on me last winter.  With some of the same symptoms he experienced the previous year.

December 1st felt like Christmas two years ago.  Last year it was a huge sigh of relief.  He’d been ‘awake’ for a year.  A full year.

This year I think it’ll feel like Christmas and my birthday all combined into one.  And Dr. Evil – as the gift giving time of year is approaching – I’ve sent you a picture of what I want for Christmas/Anniversary/Birthday/Valentine’s Day.  It’s easy – it’s pretty inexpensive – in fact – it’s super inexpensive as it would take care of 4 gift giving opportunities.  This is just like an infomercial!!!   (And by the way – yes – all those wonderful days do occur between Christmas and Valentine’s Day.)

It’s the wedding band that matches the ones we wear.  Just like the one I wear.  And the extra one I wore for a month while he was sick and then recovering.  His.  And I never want to have to wear his again.  Ever.

Now…he’d better always plan on wearing his from that day forward or I’ll go Total Evil Joy on his arse.  Can you imagine the action figure?!

So this year, I’m making new happy memories.  We are going out to pizza.  They are going to bed.  I’m drinking wine.  That’s a start, right?


EJ out – to try to keep my dog from eating my spawns’ lunch boxes.


I’ve fallen out of the Top 25 Humor Blogs yet again!?!  Can you help a girl out – click on the juggling lady there on the upper right.  You’ll be casting a vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs.  Thanks!  Let’s keep that Evil Joy Action Figure in the bag and not force her creation just yet….the teenage years are approaching in force here…got to have something in the bag.

I'm Being Brave and Sharing ….

My love of Christmas decorations in the stores.

There.  I said it.

I Love Christmas Decorations in all the Stores.

I Love Christmas music on the radio 24/7.  I love the ads.  I love the lights.  I love the music on in the stores.  I love the bell ringers.  I love Regions the Elf.


I do wish it would wait until after Halloween.  But my heart does a little happy dance when I see the big lit up trees in Target or Wal-Mart…Walgreens or County Market.  Knowing today the world as we experience it here in our town and the near by Twin Cities of St. Paul and Minneapolis will be about all things red, green, bright, and light.

Thanksgiving used to be my favorite.  It’s not so much anymore.  I actually would be happy to skip it all together.  But that’s for another blog post.

I was a staunch supporter of “No Christmas Decor until after Thanksgiving!” for many years.  Then, we had spawn and started traveling with said spawn.  Now, we usually do the decorations the weekend before Thanksgiving so Thanksgiving Day and the days following are all about having fun, relaxing, and enjoying each other.

Because in my house there are 20 totes of Christmas Decorations.  All in their happy little red and green bins.  (Halloween has three totes, Thanksgiving has one tote, Easter has three totes, St. Patrick’s Day and Valentine’s Day share one tote (I know – it’s a travesty!) and summer has its own tote.)  Christmas decorations are stored separately under the stairs so they don’t block all the other totes.  I adore my house but there is so little storage it’s sort of ridiculous!  Keeps me from being a hoarder though.  Of all things.  Except…Christmas Decorations.

I feel a renewed sense of excited about Christmas.  I’m actually Looking Forward to getting out my decorations.  I’m not fearful like I was last year.  (And my totes have increased from 12 to 20….organization and a Mom who loves to hand down her things – and she makes me look like a slacker when it comes to the love of all things Christmas!)

I’m not dreading the mess.  Dr. Evil won’t be earning another PhD. mid-decorating.  He will not get sick and be in a coma like two years ago.  He will not show many of the same symptoms and end up sick like last year.

Or I’ll have to beat him up with Christmas dancing animals (we have a large, LARGE collection) and tie him up with strings of half burnt out lights.  And then let the Halloween sugar crazed spawn attack.

So there world.  I have shared my secret.  My secret love of all the things that drive many crazy.  I LOVE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS!

Until Christmas night (which is around 29 December at my house – we travel…what can I say?).  When that shit is down and put away before bed so December 30th dawns with a clean and tidy house!

Let the red, green, light, and bright puking of decor BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!


EJ out – to stop the unfair trading practices occurring in my kitchen.  Halloween candy wars begin…..NOW!


I’m falling out of the top 20 Humor Blogs again at Top Mommy Blogs!  Help me out!  Click on the juggling lady up there on the right.  On a mobile device, view full post, scroll to the bottom and there you’ll find the juggling lady to click upon!  THANK YOU!!!!

Loud and Clear

Sometimes when I go to church I can’t find the meaning in the message.  At least not right away.

Sunday…I heard it loud and clear.


Even when things are going badly, hope.

Hope is the miracle.

Maybe the prayers and pleadings were and are answered but maintaining hope through all the hard stuff…that is the miracle.

That’s the message I heard.

During dark times, hope glimmers.  It may be dim at times, but the glimmer remains and can be rekindled into a strong flame.

I was bawling during Mass today.  Father talked about maintaining hope during the worst.  He talked about the worst being job loss, death, illness, or fear.  We all prayed for those suffering from depression.   Then the Knights got up and spoke about what they do and how the support the community.  One of the many things they listed was financial support to families going through tough times.  And yes, they supported us, as did our church.  In addition to a sea of support we received from those surrounding us.

I’m finally starting to see the lighter side of things.  While I fully understood and appreciated the depth of support surrounding our family while Dr. Evil was sick, I am seeing the miracle in it all.  I’m looking beyond the fear for the first time.  People were helping knowing we had a long road to recovery.  They weren’t helping simply to quiet the fear of his possible death.

I’m very good at hiding when I’m all but short of sobbing.  I held the tears at bay until the end of Mass.  Eldest caught on – but he’s sensitive to my moods.  And he was right next to me.  He also knew I wasn’t going to talk about it right there.   He smiled and, as he’s learned from me, teased me until I laughed.   We went on our way to the grocery to get what we needed for our day.


This isn’t about believing in God or not believing God.  This isn’t about being Catholic or Methodist or Wiccan or Agnostic.

This is about hope.

This is about seeing that glimmer of light.   And being ready to chase it.

I’m ready.

Screen Shot 2013-10-21 at 7.47.34 AM

What gives you hope in the worst of times?

The graphic used is courtesy of Gina Valley.  You can find her on Facebook at : www.facebook.com/Gina-Valley.  Twitter @GinaValley.  And on her blog : www.ginavalley.com

Reactions…and Judgements

How do you react to how you react?

Yes – that is what I meant to say.

I find myself judging my reactions all to often.  Why?  Why do I judge myself for having normal feelings?  Or abnormal ones – for that matter?

We’ve learned growing up to be thankful, kind, respectful, and compassionate.  To not covet what we don’t have but to be happy with what we do have.  Don’t wish away today.

All of those things and more.


Outwardly – I pretty much always react appropriately.  Inside – not always the case.


And when inside it’s not always the case – I beat myself up about it over and over.  And over and over.

Finally I’m learning to accept how I feel and – feel it.  NOT JUDGE IT.  Let it go and move on.  I don’t have to feel badly over being mad at a situation or person.  I don’t have to feel guilty about the FEELINGS I experienced.  I’m human.

Can I strive to be better?  Always.  Can I strive to teach my spawn to be compassionate loving humans?  Of course.

Am I going to be pissed off my spawn didn’t make (fill in the blank)?  Of course – they’re my spawn and I love them above all.  Do I have to feel badly I’m jealous a bit of those who made the (fill in the blank)?

No.  I just need to experience the emotion and let it go.



Do you find yourself judging…yourself?  How do you deal with it?  Leave me a comment and tell me!!


EJ out – to get spawn to orchestra – because – of course – cellos can’t go on the bus.  That would be…..so much easier.


Think about how you feel and if you feel that you should, click on the juggling lady up there on the right to cast a vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs.  Actually – you know what – just click it anyways – whether you feel like it or not.  I have spoken.  Bawahahahahahahaha.


(graphic source :dailydivineblessings.blogspot.com)

I’m on In the Powder Room!

Read Me In the Powder Room!

Yes, folks that is correct.  I have an article on In the Powder Room!

Go check it out.

What is your fear?  What are you afraid of?  Can you face it?

EJ out – go check it out!!!!  In the Powder Room.

Evil Something or Other…



Burton Puppy had a little incident.  Actually…we don’t know what the heck happened.

Thursday he came in from outside because Shadow Dog can open the deck door by herself.  He jumped up on the couch next to Eldest Female Spawn doing her Girl Scout homework.  I was on my computer when she let out this horrid, blood-curdling scream.

Now…she’s known to have a bit of drama queen in her so I wasn’t the kindest.

Me...looking not so nice.

Me…looking not so nice.








“What in the world is wrong?  Why are you screaming like that?”

Then Littlest Spawn starts screaming and sobbing all at once.

I jumped up because two out of four crying like that means something may possibly…maybe….probably not…could be…up.

Holy Shit.  I don’t swear a lot (on here) but…wow.

There was a gaping hole in his side.  The fur was hanging next to flesh under this what looked like 4 inch wide tear/bite.  Honestly thought maybe something got ahold of him.

I yelled at Eldest Spawn : Catch Burton.  Hold him still.  Be careful.

Grabbed a beach towel and carefully threw it around him to hold him together.

Me to Eldest Spawn : Get in the truck.  Now.  Move it.

Me to Eldest Female Spawn who was sitting on the stairs rocking and crying : I know it’s scary honey.  You have to pull it together and watch your sisters.  I’ll call Daddy and he’ll be home as soon as he can.  I need your help.

We FLEW out of the driveway and down highway N.  I’m not proud of how fast I drove.  I sped.  A lot.  But I honest to God thought this dog was most likely going to die.  I called Dr. Evil.  He was just leaving work and more than 20 minutes away.

So who do I call?  Awesome Amy.  The conversation went something like this…..

Me : Hi.  I need your help.  Are you busy and what are you doing?

Her : Okay – what do you need.  I’m fine.

Me : Go get my girls.  Burton Puppy is hurt and they are freaking out.  Dr. Evil is about 20 minutes away and I don’t want them alone.

Her : Got it.  I’ll get them and bring them to my place.

Me : Thanks.  You’re the best.


Then I hung up.  I just hung up.   Called the clinic.  It went to voice mail at 4:59.  As I was barreling down the highway I decided I would go there anyways and surely someone would be there to answer the door.

We got in the parking lot at 5:01.  Lights off.  Dark.  Eldest Spawn ran around and banged on every surface we could to see if anyone was there.

No dice.  The message said to go to Woodbury…I thought he’d be dead if we went that far.  (He wasn’t exhibiting any signs of being in pain but was sort of quiet…do dogs go into shock?)

Eldest Spawn googled other vets in Hudson.  Luckily the first one we called was open and only about 3 minutes away.  Bring him right in, we’ll be waiting for you.

Flew in the drive.  Ran around and grabbed him from Eldest Spawn.  In we went.

They were so sweet there….I was a mess.  Remember the whole Fizzgig thing – well, the last time I was this frantic about a dog…I had run him over.  She looked at him and said “Oh, I see.”

The vet came in and looked at him more closely.  Said it was going to take some stitches to close him up but it wasn’t that deep.  He’d need surgery and they’d keep him overnight.  No worries, he’ll be fine.

And then he found his feisty self – she tried to take him from me and he was PISSED.


We left Burton Puppy there and I started to get shaky.  I praised Eldest Spawn.  He was so calm and responsible.  Held onto Burton Puppy all the way there and talked to him in this sweet, calm voice.  He was so…grown up about the whole thing.

Then I started crying.  Poor Eldest Spawn knew what I was thinking about.  He said, “Mom, Fizzy was old.  It was an accident.  And I really was only kidding when you thought I was mad about borrowing my snowboard.”

I had to laugh.  He was trying to cheer me up.  A kid.  A super kid.


We got to Awesome Amy’s and picked up the Female Spawn.  They were doing homework.  Man..that woman deserves a medal.  She is seriously amazing.  The girls got ready and we left for home so we could then leave for Girl Scouts.


Home to find evidence Eldest Female Spawn was making up bowls of cereal with glasses of milk for her little sisters.  She had set the table and was preparing to feed them when Amy arrived.  And she put on a movie the two littles liked a lot.  She so pulled it together.  Another amazing kid.  I’m so proud of her.


Burton Puppy will be fine.  He’s sporting the Cone of Shame and as Dr. Evil calls it his ‘wife beater’ t-shirt.  We’re hoping to prevent him from scratching at his 26 staples on the outside and internal stitches.  Poor dude.  There is a long cut.  The vet warned me over the phone the injury was larger than I thought because when I brought him in it was all bunched up.










The vet said it appeared he either was bit and pulled away or got caught up on something and pulled.  I really hope he got caught on something.  There is a dog that wanders our neighborhood a lot.  Animal Control is on a first name basis with him.  He can be sweet but he tried to nip at Eldest Female Spawn last summer.  Most likely he tried to go under our deck – he’s quite a bit larger than he used to be…was 6 lbs when we got him – now he’s a whopping 32…and got caught up on something.

As for Burton Puppy…this is what he thinks of his new ‘get-up.’

I will get you when you sleep.  Just wait.

I will get you when you sleep. Just wait.



Now to ensure I don’t send the Green Eyed Burton after you, you should click on the juggling lady on the upper left.  Doing so casts a vote for me at the Top Mommy Blogs where I’ve again fallen drastically!  Help a girl out!

And check out my Facebook page….Evil Joy Speaks.  There’s some fun coming soon!

While the Boys Are Away….

The Female Spawn and I will play!

Dr. Evil and Eldest Spawn are away on one of their Boy Scout weekends.

So I decided us girls just “wanna have fun!”  We started the night by playing taxi cab – picked up from school – sleep over friend included.  Eldest Female Spawn went to a gymnastics lock in – Second Eldest had a playdate – and Littlest – she just got to control the tv for an hour – that doesn’t EVER happen.

Sleep over.  Bedtime Stories.  Cuddles in the morning.


Now..I’m off to pack lunch for our favorite winter haunt.  We’re heading to Afton.  I will…WILL – I say – conquer taking Littlest Spawn up the bunny hill chair lift.

I. Am. Terrified.

Last time – only time – we tried together – she fell off.  At the bottom.  About 3 feet from the ground.  But she didn’t let go … just hung by one arm.  I jumped off the chair and grabbed her after picking my clumsy arse off the ground.  We got right back on the chair and rode to the top.  A very kind employee told us we could ask them to stop the chair at the top to glide off.  I asked.  He stopped it – a little short.  She wouldn’t get off so I basically shoved her off and right onto her little bum.  She was very…..irritated with me.  I fell getting off because I was desperately trying to not go down the hill as we were a little ways from the platform.  Then we worked on turns all the way down the hill and she did wonderfully.  I made Dr. Evil take her up again a few times, but I’d lost my nerve.

Today.  Nerve.  You’re mine.  We will do this.  WE. WILL. RIDE.THE.LIFT.

I have spoken…thus it shall be.

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And I get to wear this awesome hat Awesome Amy made for my ginormous head!  (Really – I have a big head and hats are hard to find.)


EJ out – to pack a healthy lunch!!!

Click on the banner if you’d like to cast a vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs.  I changed out the juggling lady.  Her arms were tired…needed a break.  Thanks.




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