Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: middle school

Ages and Stages

Looking back at old pictures yesterday I came to a startling realization.

These days are short.  The days of kids and noise and mess.  The days of cribs and bottles.  The days of high school football games and middle school dances.


The days my kids are MY KIDS and live with ME.


Everyone always said it, “Enjoy these days.  They’ll be gone before you know it.”  I clearly remember thinking those saying that particular phrase to me were a.) suffering from memory loss b.)remember only parts of having a screaming toddler running away with your shopping cart in Target containing his newborn sister c.) didn’t realize the cost of gas and the loss of my time in running cleats to a kid who forgot them … at an away game  or d.) were just trying to make me feel better and were actually lying through their teeth.


When my spawn were babes I felt like I was always waiting for the next stage.  “Won’t it be so wonderful when they can move a bit to get their own toy if dropped?”  “Won’t it be wonderful when they’re in a twin bed and not a crib?”  “I can’t wait until they can tie their own shoes.”  I did enjoy the cuddles but longed for sleep.  I felt like an addict in withdrawal – I NEEDED SLEEP.  But their little heads….oh did they smell good.

Then the toddler years arrived.  “Crap!  Now they can get into the dishwasher!!”  “Tall enough to reach into the toilet and then…get stuck.  Time for another bath!”   “Man I miss them not caring which shoes I put on their feet!”  “When did they start caring about which shorts I put on them.”  “Won’t it be wonderful when they can use the bathroom themselves?”  I prayed for patience …. and for cloning to be approved and available to the public.

Preschool years hit with a storm.  “I can’t wait for those few hours of peace with only 2 or 3 other children.”  “Wow, I have a preschooler – won’t full day school be easier with less running?”  “I can’t let him go in the men’s restroom alone – when did he start caring about being in a women’s bathroom with me?”   I met other moms and realized we were all going through the same thing and had the same thoughts about people lying to us about it being all awesome!

School arrived.  “Oh wow, they’re riding the bus.  Oh wow, the big yellow bus just ate my kid!”

They gained independence.  And opinions.  All the things I longed for them to have when they were in the needy stage and I felt needed-out.

And……I realized I missed that.  I missed hanging out at the park AGAIN.  I missed getting them popcorn at Target so I could make it through my shopping list.  I missed getting paged at the YMCA mid run because someone needed a diaper change.  I missed being needed.

I’m lucky.  I still have some time.  I have one starting high school. *GASP*  I have one starting middle school.  *GASP*  And the Littles will be in grades 4 and 1.  I have time to remember to enjoy them.   While I’m so happy they’re growing into strong, independent individuals, I’m trying to hold onto those last little straws of them needing me.  And trying to be there for them.  Because one day all too soon, they won’t need me like they do now.

And I’ll miss it.

But I’ll know I did what I could while I had their ear.

Screen Shot 2014-06-16 at 8.14.21 AM

EJ out – to make some breakfast on this first day of summer.


If you have a minute, would you please click on the juggling lady.  Doing so casts a vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs.  I’ve reached the Top 10 in the Humor Blogs section!  Thank you to all who have voted.  You can vote once a day, every day.  The only  thing you need to do is click one time on my blog on the icon with the juggling lady.  You’ll be redirected to the Top Mommy Blogs website.  But you’re allll done.  Thanks again!  Have a fabulous day!

YIIIIPPPPEEEEEE – I’m free…sort of….

So did you hear the loud “whoop!” escaping my pie hole when the Eldest Female Spawn and Second Eldest Female Spawn boarded the bus.  I was momentarily terrified the bus driver was going to stop and make sure nothing was wrong and I’d have to explain I was hollering because I was down to ONE – count her – ONE spawn for the day.

We went home and watched a movie and cuddled.  And then we went to the park and played.  At 12:30pm.  In 90 + temps.

We had a blast.  It was so fun to just play.  Seems like I am remembering to grasp a few more of these ‘moments’ – maybe because she’s the Fourth and Final Spawn – maybe because had our little reminder how precious life can be (ie Dr. Evil and Evil Joy’s being spawned) – or maybe just because it was a gorgeous day and I felt all was right in my world for a moment or two.

And yes darn it – that is me – actually doing the monkey bars!  I can’t reach the bars without climbing up and Littlest Spawn was taking my picture …. pretty good for a four year old.  (hey – she’s the fourth, final, and four year old spawn.  Ahhhhh alliteration….)  I’m pretty excited I can do the bars as my Evil Wrist is still fairly Evil at times…but this was fine!  And it’s only slightly swollen tonight – but that could just as easily be from playing ball all weekend too…..

Dr. Evil was momentarily confused when he arrived home – dinner was on the table.  Like – the whole dinner – salad, baked red potatoes seasoned with rosemary, grilled chicken (okay – yeah – left over from him grilling it yesterday), brussel sprouts (because I do NOT eat corn anymore), and sweet corn.  I’m pretty sure he thought he walked into the wrong house or fell into an alternate dimension or something.  While I’d like to be the Betty Crocker wife in theory – reality is – yeah…not gonna happen.  But once in a while, I show the Betty Crocker side of Evil Joy.

Dr. Evil left for the evening and the Spawn and I had a great time.  Cleaned up dishes, walk/bike ride with the dog, homework, stink removal, stories, and …Praise the Lord…bedtime.

Here are my Spawn on their first days of 7th, 4th, and 2nd grades.  Littlest Spawn gets to meet her preschool teacher tomorrow (never mind this is the fourth, final, four year old of ours she will educate) so her pictures are yet to come.

EJ out – to collapse and watch some True Blood.

Vote for me at the Top Mommy Blogs site by clicking on the Top Mommy Blogs icon on the right.  Thanks so much.  I hope you’ve enjoyed reading!!

Any great – or not so great – first day of school stories to share?  I’d love to read about them – leave me a comment!

© 2019 Evil Joy Speaks

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑