Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: run (page 1 of 3)

Running On Empty

My legs needed a break but my brain needed a run. Obviously…….. I went for a run.

There were goosebumps on my arms and I was shivering just a touch as I began the walk to the highway where I start. I was working hard on my psyching myself out. I knew my legs were tired and I was running on empty. I also knew my mind was so restless I wouldn’t be able to function all day if I didn’t do this thing for myself…..this run.

I started out. And was immediately met by traffic – it’s a two lane highway – I was heading up a hill – and trucks were coming from each directions. I popped off into the ditch as is frequently required….and I noticed the horses on the road watching me. I don’t stop the first mile of any run – I haven’t for a long time. I run in the ditch as long as necessary and hop back onto the road as soon as possible

Not today. The horses were so peaceful and beautiful. One of the horses just stared at me while the others munched on the grass. I found myself admiring them.

I snapped some pictures. Then I looked down the road and saw the gently rolling hills ahead. Normally hills make me cringe. I don’t look at upcoming inclines and focus only on what is in front of me. But today I saw the hills and reminded myself I’ve run these hills countless times and today I’d just do what I could.

IMG_2469 IMG_2466





Then the song “Talking is Hard” by Walk the Moon started playing. “I know everyone you know. You know everyone I know. A Venn diagram is one circle.” I smiled. My awful run and my happy take on it made a new Venn diagram – a diagram with only one circle!

I had one of the worst runs on this route ever – but only time wise. Every other aspect of this run was amazing. I saw horses, fields being worked by hand, seas of dandelions, and the positive of doing something good for my body and mind. For the first time ever I enjoyed an awful run. I found my happy every step.

IMG_2467 IMG_2468


Marathon Weekend : The Evil Joy Edition

The Evil Onion

Grandma’s Marathon, Duluth, Minnesota

23 June 2013

by Evil Joy

The 37th Annual running of Grandma’s Marathon occurred yesterday in Duluth, Minnesota.  And it was even more special due to the presence of Evil Joy and her Dr. Evil.  They started together.  They ran together.  They finished together.  Evil Joy did not have to follow through with her very real Evil Threat of leaving Dr. Evil in Duluth if he left her on the marathon course.

“He stayed with me.  Through the whole thing.” said Evil Joy.

The weekend started with Evil Joy and Dr. Evil departing Hudson, Wisconsin.  First stop : Awesome A’s house – Eldest Spawn was staying there for the weekend.  Their second stop was Auntie W’s house – now known as “Spawn Drop Zone.”  The final stop before their Duluth Destination was Auntie J’s house – renamed “Fur Spawn Drop Zone” as the pups stayed there for the weekend.

Evil Joy shares her memories of the weekend.

“The traffic wasn’t too bad considering it was a weekend and we, like most of the area, were heading north.  That’s what people do here on the weekend – they “go up north.”  Temperatures were warm in the cities but continued to drop as we approached our destination.  As the temperatures dropped, the traffic picked up!”










Evil Joy said the Expo was wonderful and she and Dr. Evil both made a few pre-race purchases.  Packet pickup was very smooth and nicely run.  All of the volunteers were amazing.  There is a spaghetti feed the night before the Marathon and Dr. Evil was very excited to partake.  Luckily for Evil Joy, they had a gluten-free option that was actually “pretty tasty.”

Evil Joy continues.

“We left the expo and made our way to the grocery store – our infamous ‘must haves’ for the morning of a long run.  I am addicted – mentally –  to my pre-run brown rice cakes with almond butter and 2 bananas.  We picked up a treat to have in the room as well – Greek yogurt with chocolate rice cakes to dip.  YUM!!!”

Evil Joy and Dr. Evil stayed at the University of Minnesota-Duluth dorms while in town.  They were very pleased with their accommodations.  While a hotel would have been amazing, it would have “broken the piggy bank.”

“It was time for bed.  I couldn’t sleep.  I was so very thankful for experienced friends sharing with us that no sleep is totally normal and not to worry about it.”

4:45am Saturday 22 June dawned….sort of.

“The fog was crazy!  Just when you thought you’d seen the worst of it – you’d lose more visibility.  Thankfully Dr. Evil and I were bused to the start of the race and didn’t have to drive in that mess.  We were up front – I get crazy car sick – and overheard the bus drivers desperately trying to get another lost bus driver – with a bus full of half marathon runners – to the start of the half.  The half started about an hour earlier than the full so those people were surely nervous!”

Evil Joy and Dr. Evil arrived at the drop site, found the sea of port-o-pots, and anxiously awaited the start.  “Well…I was anxious.  I don’t think Dr. Evil is ever nervous – he’s steady as all get out!” corrected Evil Joy.

The National Anthem was beautifully sung by a member of a local National Guard unit.  Then……it was time.

“There were people everywhere.  I am short and the group behind us – they must have all been over 6 feet tall!  They kept telling me when the line would move so I wouldn’t get run over!

We ran….and ran.  Started out with the 4:45 pace group.  At mile 4 I had to tell Dr. Evil I couldn’t maintain that pace for another 22 miles so we slowed slightly and ran with the 5 hour pace group.  Eventually they passed us too.  At that point – I just wanted to run and did NOT care about how long it took.  After 5 hours – who really cares if it’s 5 hours and 10 minutes or 5 hours and 30 minutes – that’s still a really long time to be moving!”

She continues, “The fog was so thick it literally looked like the sea of people were lemmings running off the edge of the world!”  The weather conditions deteriorated.  By Mile 3 the White Warning Flags were up.  From the race website, “WHITE FLAG (Risk of Hypothermia): The risk of hypothermia is very low, but still exists especially in slow runners or in wet and windy conditions.”  Evil Joy and Dr. Evil were quite comfortable with the temperatures while running.  “The wind was cold at times but we very much prefer that to being hot!” said Evil Joy.

“Finally…at mile 12 I gave in to the need I’d had since the start – and I mean the START of the race – I had to go to the bathroom.”

Evil Joy has a new name for Mother Nature – it’s one we can’t print here.  Let’s just say she was not thrilled with the timing of monthly events in her life at mile 12.

The race continued.  At Mile 20, sponsored by Verizon, Evil Joy and Dr. Evil saw two dear friends and seeing them gave the runners the energy to ‘just keep running…just keep running.’

“I thought Mile 25 was NEVER going to get here!” exclaimed Evil Joy.  Belly dancers were out in the now steady rain dancing under the overpass in Duluth’s historic downtown.

Finally…there.  The finish line.  Evil Joy said, “I was thinking…OH THANK GOD WE CAN STOP RUNNING SOON!  I just wanted my t-shirt and medal and to go on my blog page and put a line through one more thing on my Bucket List page!”

Evil Joy and Dr. Evil finished together at 5:36:45.  In the rain.  And oh so happy.  Dr. Evil is a man of few words but he posted this moving statement on Facebook :

Screen Shot 2013-06-25 at 8.41.52 AM

The Marathon is complete for another year.  When asked if she would do another one Evil Joy responded, “It’s like child birth – I need to forget a bit first before I think about doing it again.”

We had an amazing time together last weekend.  Thanks to everyone who helped us during training, running, traveling.  Dr. Evil’s statement on Facebook made me cry happy tears – during the race I kept thinking about how far we’d come.   I didn’t have any idea he was thinking the same thing.  He doesn’t talk much about all that happened.  I probably do that enough for both of us.  But his words healed a few places in me I didn’t realize needing healing.  So this was way more than a marathon.  Way more….

EJ out – to hobble to get some coffee.

Please click on the “VOTE for ME” icon on the upper right.  You’ll be casting a vote for my blog at the Top Mommy Blogs.  Thanks.


How lucky am I? I mean – in all seriousness….I am sitting in the living room of an award winning author 1,000 miles from home. Just chillin…. Who gets to do that?!?!?

Me, dammit, that’s who!!!

Dr. Evil’s travels have perks….frequent flyer miles and hotel points. He is generous with those. Didn’t hesitate a second when I asked him about this weekend. “You should go. You deserve it. Enjoy yourself!”

And when Snarkfest asked me if I wanted to come out I asked back did you mean that message for me? Her reply, “Of course!”

So i booked a ticket 10 minutes later and registered for the race!!! Look out West Virginia – Evil Joy is invading!!

Yesterday afternoon I arrived and Snarkfest and her family and snarky family of friends folded me and made me feel like a rockstar! Totally inclusive and like they’d known me forever! Amazing!!! I even am now stalking some of them on Facebook!! Bawahahahahhaha!!! Teresa….yes you…..

And bonus – Snarkfest had a book signing at a sweet local shop Four Seasons Books. And more bonus…. Naps Happen participated in the book signing. I’ve now met three of the 37 authors.

And this morning – it’s quiet and peaceful. I called my spawnily and they are doing great and wished me a good time.


And now….Snarkfest, Lisa the Nazi Crack Ho and I – Evil Joy – are off to Fredericksburg, Virginia for the Marine Corp Historic Half Marathon. The race is tomorrow! I am psyched.

Thanks Snarkfest. In Dr. Evil’s words. “Good thing she’s not a 55 year old man in real life… Just kidding!!” I am having a great weekend!!! You.are.a.maze.balls!!!!!

EJ out – to look forward so I don’t get sick in Lisa’s vehicle. I think I’m a little scared of her….hehehehehehe

Vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs by clicking the juggling lady up there on the right.



Top 10…..

Thursday rolls around every week and I think, “How the hell did that happen?”

Friday is coming.  I should be excited and happy.  However…trying to think of things to do with the kids when the weather is mucky and yucky…..I can think of lots of things.  None of them will be met with the happy sounds of “Yipppeee!  Great idea Mama!”

Cleaning the garage.  Picking up doggy doo-doo from the last few months.  Taking down all the Christmas lights.  Clearing out the dead leaves on the plants that will be growing again.

And on Saturday (I hope)….12 miles.  12 miles of running.

I’ve run this far before…more than once.  More than twice.  But I’m nervous – last weekend’s run sucked.  I literally bawled about the hills.  Which is stupid.  But it didn’t matter at mile 4 with so many more miles to go and soooo many hills left yet to run UP!  The down part of the hill isn’t even happy when you see the next hill heading straight up at the bottom of the current one.

I’m hoping for Saturday instead of Sunday.  I just like getting it out of the way before Sunday.  No real reason…just like having one more day to recover and like getting it out of the way.

And since running is taking over my brain – here’s my top 10 suggestions for running in WI in the spring.

TOP 10 SUGGESTIONS for running in Wisconsin in Spring

1.  Wear leggings.  Except don’t.  Okay – do, but wear shorts underneath so you can strip if the weather changes 15 degrees in the 20 minutes since you started.

2.  Run in loops.  Lots of small loops.  Because if the weather went up 15 degrees in 20 minutes  – it will surely drop 25 degrees in the next 10 minutes.  You’ll need to put those leggings back on.  Until you need to take them off again.

3.  Plug your nose.  Cow poop stinks.  It smells.  Bad.  Really really bad.

4.  Plan on getting the splashed look.  It’s in.  It’s impossible to escape when you run along a highway in the spring in WI.  My favorite splashes are from cars who won’t give you an inch when there’s NO oncoming traffic and they’re shaking their fist or giving you the finger as they drive past.

5.  Dogs.  Lots of dogs.  Most have invisible fence.  Except Millie.  She’s the farm dog.  Who will herd you the entire way on a 6 mile run.  And an 8 mile run.  And a 10 mile run.  Good thing we start and stop at home and she lives across the street/highway.

6.  Keep one headphone in and one out.  This is to hear the watch beep of the 5-1 I run (run 5 minutes, walk 1 minute – the whole way).  This is also so you can yell at Dr. Evil for making you run hills.  And so he’ll notice if you drop dead at the top of the 245th hill we just ran up.

7. Be prepared for dead things on the shoulder of the road.  As the snow melts, the horror is revealed.  It’s like the Walking Dead of animals…except they’re really dead, not walking, and really freaking gross.

8.  Watch out for tractors.  Yes.  Really.  Especially the ones with tillers attached.  You may think you’re running fast.  Until a tiller catches up.  Then you run faster.  Until you get tilled.

9.  Sand.  Sand is wonderful on the beach.  Sand is wonderful in a sand box.  Sand on a road is slippery.  Yes.  Slippery.  Carry band aids.

And finally

10. Smile.  Dr. Evil will take random pictures.  And after last year, hopefully he learned he should take pictures of my front…not this……


Here’s some random running pictures from the last year….just ’cause.

EJ out – to chase the kids to the bus stop.

Thanks for helping me make the Top 25 Humor Blogs at Top Mommy Blogs.  I’m shooting for the top 10!  Click on the flashing juggling lady up there on the left (on mobile – click view full site and she’s at the bottom).  That’s it.  You’ll be redirected to Top Mommy Blogs.  You can close that window and every other window.  You’re done!  I excuse you from the day!

Have a great one!

It’s cold…and some other stuff…

So today we went out for a run.  Last Sunday we did 6 miles in the wind and it was freaking cold.  And I thought hilly.  Well – it was hilly.  Hard to not be hilly where we live.  It was about 35 degrees and sunny – but the wind had a BITE.

Today…time to make the donuts – I mean run again.  8 miles on the plate.  Sounds good.  We started out going downhill with the wind at our backs rather than running back home UP highway N with church traffic.  Down highway N – to Gilbert Road.  I love the names of the roads around here….Wilcoxson, Kinney, Gilbert, Tower (because there’s a ginormous tower on Tower Road)….  Actually felt really great.  I was pleasantly surprised how good I felt.  And after snowboarding yesterday and cleaning someone’s home for 4 hours!!

Then the dreaded TOWER Road Hill.  The never-ending-continuous – you think you’re up the hill and then your round a corner and – BAM – more freaking hill.  I HATE that part of Tower Road.

We made it up the most EVIL part of Tower Road.  And BAM – wind!

Wow – it got cold fast.  I usually sweat constantly.  Even when I’m cold.  So … running and getting warm for about 6 miles and then hitting wind like that – holy crap – FROZEN arm pits.  And other pits….we’ll leave it at that.  My water even froze!!!!

I needed to drink this.....brrrrr and grrrrrr...

I needed to drink this…..brrrrr and grrrrrr…

I had to get over my Evil Self Defeating Talk coming up the Evil Freaking Hill From Hell.  I got over it.  The hill and the talk.  And get my arse moving faster again because it was so freaking windy.  We made it home.

Where I took a super long, super hot, super steamy shower.  I’ve got on 4 layers on top and I’m still shivering!  Maybe time to drink some hot water.  (And yes, I know that’s weird, but it works and I like it!)

But you know the coolest (haha) think about this run….

  •  The gorgeous trees.
  • The quiet parts of the old county highways where little traffic comes.
  • The opportunities to notice hills and homes you normally fly past at 60 mph.
  • The interesting cracks in the road and the way the frost covers the black top.
  • The way the water freezes in patterns and how the sand on the road affects the patterns.

It. Was. Breathtaking.

And even more…I got thinking about how things will change between now and the end of June when Dr. Evil and I run Grandma’s Marathon in Duluth.  The trees, flowers, and birds (there are several eagle nests around here) and the differences that will be apparent.

Last week on our run I took a picture.  I know at some point again we’ll be in this same spot.  I hope to capture the changing seasons.

March 17th, 2013

March 17th, 2013


Here’s to a wonderful week.  I’m going to keep busy.  Dr. Evil is traveling.  I still get very nervous when he travels…but the spawn, their activities, and our life in general will keep me busy.  Especially since Dr. Evil was fixing the noise the dryer made and broke it for several days.  Now…laundry threatens to bury us.  Send me clean and bubbly thoughts!

EJ out – to drink some unfrozen, hot water.

SO….help me get back in the Top 25 at Top Mommy Blogs.  Click on the juggling lady.  Please.  Once a day.  Every day.  You can do it!


Also – buy this book!  I Just Want to Pee Alone.  You can get it on Snarkfest’s page (and others too…)



I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane….

So weird is my life….I love it.

The first time I ran a race of any distance (for me) – 9 miles – it was 2 years ago May.  In California.

It.Was.Amazing.  Bur Sur 9 Miler….amazing.  Beautiful.  Breathtaking.  My first ever girls’ trip.



Last May – life was still returning to ‘normal’ – no comments on our normal please – we’re all aware how abnormal our normal is…..

So…on with it.

Yesterday… I’m chatting with Snarkfest on Facebook.  She mentioned the Marine Corps Historic Half Marathon is Fredericksburg, West Virginia.  She invited me to come out.  On a whim.

With in 10 minutes – 10 minutes people10 minutes – I talked to Dr. Evil….found a frequent flyer flight, registered for the race, and confirmed the travel.

So I’m leaving on a jet plane to DC airport in May.  For another run of a little distance …. 13.1 miles!!  I’m so excited.

(Good timing in preparation for Grandma’s 26.2 mile run in June.)

See when Snarkfest and I started chatting a while back we found we have a number of similarities.  Our first half marathon times where within a minute or two of each other’s…..both had dental issues in our pasts…..(of all things…)  And we both immediately said that we should plan to run a race together some day.

And…wah-lah!  It’s happening people!


And I’ve declared May of every other year to be my destination race trip.  And I’m hoping Snarkfest will be my destination race partner!

EJ out – to run – have to get in shape for this thing!!!  Actually to run Eldest Spawn to a sporting goods store – his feet are larger than his baseball cleats from last year and he desperately “Needs” batting gloves.

Oh and Snarkfest and a bunch of my other favorite bloggers have a book out – you should buy it – all the cool kids have it.  You know you want it.  It’s pretty neat!

Here’s a link so you can buy the book, “I Just Want to Pee Alone.”


And since you’re in a click happy kinda mood – click on the flashing banner below to cast a vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs.  Thanks!!!!



Just keep running…just keep running..and going on hayrides….and getting candy…and….

Yesterday was the Monster Dash Half Marathon.  There were other races but since I didn’t run them, I don’t care about them.  Bawahahaha.

We missed the race.  The start.  Dr. Evil had to go on a go-kart ride with Ashton Kusher and I was stuck helping some renovate and clean their shower.  On top of which I got very upset with Dr. Evil about the go-kart ride because this run would fulfill one of my bucket list requirements.  Oh – and there were pumpkins everywhere.  And we were late getting up.

Yeah – that would be the dream I had the night prior to the race.  Which we DID run.

With Dr. Evil as Walter White from AMC’s Breaking Bad.  And tattooed arm girl – I’m not that into running with extra crap on me….but arms sleeves with tattoos on them … Bring IT!

Ready for chemical warfare or meth production….

Getting Ready to Run

Dr. Evil…he cruised.  Even in the get-up he had going on….He’s so awesome.   So my dear friend C ran with me.  She is a rock star.  Never had run further than 8 miles.  She was dragging my arse the whole way.  I mean seriously – she probably would have run it a lot faster than we did – but we had fun.  We chatted the whole way because I FORGOT MY HEADPHONES!  WHO DOES THAT?  And you know what else I forgot – GLIDE?!?!?!?!?  Chaffing is a Evil Vengeful $itch.


Around mile 4 (of 13.1 let me remind you), nature called.  We answered and found the Potty HotSpot for Super Heros and Magical Creatures…they wouldn’t share the power or the magic dust so we just took their pictures instead….

Even the Unicorns got in on the fun!

SuperMan uses a phone booth normally, but in extreme situations, a Port-A-Pot will do….











We had fun at our pit stop.  It was a long pit stop as there was only one potty and there were some folks having some ‘issues.’  But we were refreshed and ready to run the course.  We finished up and had some fun pictures.  C stayed with me towards the end – she could have totally powered through but I was having some cramping issues with my hamstring…stupid hamstring….you will be getting some ART and then you’ll behave.  There.  Take. That.


And in normal Evil Joy/Joy style – just because we ran 13.1 miles that morning doesn’t mean we sit home and do nothing!!!!  We keep on keeping on and get our arses in gear and ….

Dr. Evil and Eldest Spawn finished up scorekeeping for Boosters and cleaned out the concessions sheds.  Yep – my basement is full of crap again……

Second Female Spawn and I (minus Littlest Spawn – she had fun with her friend – which was good because it was COLD) hopped on a cart with neighbors and trick or treated in our annual neighborhood parade.  Eldest Female Spawn rode along with a friend….we’ve come to that age…..


The Cart we hitched a ride on….Second Eldest Female Spawn was a magical mermaid….

Some neighbors lined up and ready to roll..


What a day!!  From running to Evil Chaffing to Evil Awesome TrickorTreating…..we rocked the day.  What did you do this weekend?

EJ out – to round up running clothes and costumes to wash.  Because they stink.


Take a minute and give Evil Joy some love – click on the Top Mommy Blogs icon on the upper right to cast a vote for me.  Thanks!!!!


11 Months….part 2

See the whole ‘anniversary’ date thing is hard – because there’s really 3 days in my head that suck.  Didn’t feel well the 19th.  Really didn’t feel well 20.  Went to ER, ended up at Regions via ambulance.  21 – Intubated.

So all three days sort of rock my world.  I know I’m suppose to celebrate because he’s here – and I do.  But right now…I’m just waiting for midnight.

We ran an awesome run yesterday.  Then…we went to friends for a bonfire and drinks.  I was secretly planning on getting a little silly.  Except I told my friend – Kool K so it really wasn’t secret.  Kool K was totally cool with that – I don’t do silly via alcohol often – rarely in fact.

I’ve sort of always considered myself fortunate because I’ve never been hung over.  Ever.

Until this morning.  Holy Evil Nastiness.  Once is enough.

If that’s what drunk is and the after effects…I’m good with the sweet nectar.  Totally loving the sweet nectar in fact.  Diet Coke for me baby.

I think I was planning on getting silly because I wanted to not think about the date.  Or today’s date.  Today is the hardest of the three.  I think about what we said to each other right before he was put in a coma….. over and over I think about it.  I try to experience whatever emotion is hitting me and then move on.  I just keep going back….

“What do you need?  I love you so much.”

“I just want to breathe.  Oh – I love you too.”


10 long days.


Now…he ran 12 miles yesterday.  And built a snowboard rack.  And took care of me.  And let me sleep in.  And made dinner.  And made cookies.

He took care of me this time on the 21st.  I know I wasn’t actually taking care of him on that 21st…just sat by his bed for days on end.  I didn’t leave.  I didn’t watch tv.  I just sat there.

I guess I’m trying to make it okay in my head he had to take care of me.  I don’t like asking for help.  I don’t like being not in control.  That’s part of why I’m still obsessing about him getting sick.  I don’t like obsessing about it.  So I stuff it down and these three days it explodes out.  Oh well…this too shall pass, right?  I know he’s ready for me to be past it.  He slept through that part of it….

Anyway….today is nearing its end.   I don’t want to not experience a day in my life because of fear.  I want to live each day and make it count.  It has to.  It must.  It will.


EJ out – Amazing Race with Dr. Evil and the spawn.

11 Months…

So….11 months ago today – Dr. Evil felt like crap.  Really really bad.  Like really bad – enough so I even made him food and took it up to him.  I had to go clean a house.  Eldest Spawn called me and said, “Daddy is really really cold!”  Me…being me…thought – “oh crap – paws up?” somewhat tongue in cheek.  Little did I know of the storm coming….

Fast forward to Today.  11 months later.

We RAN 12 Miles.  On the Gateway Trail.


Let me tell you how awesome it is.  It’s amazing.  It’s a miracle.  It’s a blessing.  It’s unbelievable (but let me tell you – we did in fact run 12 miles – my legs will argue if you try to disagree – and my fist may punch you…).  It’s exceptional.  It’s beyond belief.

This is what perfection looks like to me on this wonderful day….

20 October 2012


And he totally kicked my arse too – butthead.


EJ out – to hobble around and do some laundry.


Join me in my thankful day by click on the Top Mommy Blogs icon on the upper right.  Thanks!

Sensitive Skin….

Evil Joy here with a post on skin, running, now sensitive skin and oowwwwiiiieeees!

Warning – I’m going to talk about chaffing.  If this bothers you, click on the Top Mommy Blogs icon to vote for me and move on to another one of my fabulous posts.  If you’re all good with chaffing…read on my friends, read on.  (It’s really not that bad…I promise….)

Dr. Evil and I did a run this morning.  We tend to do a longer run – anywhere from 6-10 miles – on either Saturday or Sunday.  I prefer Saturdays so I have another day to recover before the week begins and the spawn run me ragged.  Initially we were going to do 12 but after the advice of my A.R.T. (Active Release Technique) Physician, we lowered it to 8.  Thank God.  I was dogging it the last mile or so.  It doesn’t help the last mile before the last half mile is up a freaking Evil Hill  An Evil Freaking Long Hill.  And it was 8.45 miles.  I insist on getting the full credit for the distance – even if I walked a portion of it.

The day dawned at 3:30 because Burton Puppy decided to carry on in his kennel.  Being the softy I am, I got him out (I know..I know..) and held him/half slept on the couch until 6am.  Around 6:30 we were all up because Littlest Spawn decided to carry on louder than anything and wake everyone up!  Bad Spawn…Bad.

40 degrees, misty.  Perfect.  I love that sort of weather – it’s cold the first bit, but it feels great when you start to get hot.  I was having a ‘woe is me’ run the first two miles.  Then I got happy. I like running.  It’s pretty.  The sun isn’t out – I hate it when the sun shines in my eyes while I’m running – hence the ugly hat….

And then….the twinge.  On my back.  Under my bra strap.

And then…the twinge.  On my thigh.  You know where.

Crapola.  I’ve got 4.75 miles to go.  And I know from experience it’s only going to get worse.  And not only that – showering after the run will be Evil Painful.  Maybe it’s karma for not listening to my spawn when they say their scrapes and cuts hurt in the tub.  I don’t know…I just know it’s going to burn like an iron.

Last year at the Expo for Grandma’s in Duluth I found the Moving Comfort bra of my dreams.  I wear the Fiona.  Yes, my bra has a name.  I was looking for more of the Fiona.  And the lady at the booth said, “I don’t have anymore Fiona in your size but I have her $itch sister.  This is the best bra!”  So I bought it.  It was 40% off.  Another reason I bought it.  Other wise it would have been outside of my cheap skate mindset.  And I wore it the next day for the half marathon.

The weather was like today – cool – misty.  I was so thankful for the hot shower.  Until the EVIL SEARING pain shot across my back and shoulders.  Because the bra was new and I didn’t have access to a washing machine – I had the chaff marks from Hell.  And the scars to prove I ran.

Luckily for me I have stretch marks to hide the other chaffing areas.  Yes…for every mother who didn’t get stretch marks – you can thank me.  I got yours for you.  And they never left.  I look like a pink and tan zebra.  Even when I hit my goal weight there will be no bikinis on this mama.  Not unless I’m on exhibition at the zoo as a human zebra hybrid.

My most essential running thing…next to my bra, Fiona.

So now…my poor Evil Sensitive Chaffed Skin is having a rest in the softest sweats.  Tomorrow will be better – scabs are my friend.  Yes, I actually said that.

EJ out – to research homeopathic skin remedies.  Not really…but hey…maybe so – why not!?

Take a second to sooth my skin and vote for me at the Top Mommy Blogs.  Click on the icon located in the upper right.  Thanks!!!!

Older posts

© 2019 Evil Joy Speaks

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑