Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: running (page 1 of 4)

Running On Empty

My legs needed a break but my brain needed a run. Obviously…….. I went for a run.

There were goosebumps on my arms and I was shivering just a touch as I began the walk to the highway where I start. I was working hard on my psyching myself out. I knew my legs were tired and I was running on empty. I also knew my mind was so restless I wouldn’t be able to function all day if I didn’t do this thing for myself…..this run.

I started out. And was immediately met by traffic – it’s a two lane highway – I was heading up a hill – and trucks were coming from each directions. I popped off into the ditch as is frequently required….and I noticed the horses on the road watching me. I don’t stop the first mile of any run – I haven’t for a long time. I run in the ditch as long as necessary and hop back onto the road as soon as possible

Not today. The horses were so peaceful and beautiful. One of the horses just stared at me while the others munched on the grass. I found myself admiring them.

I snapped some pictures. Then I looked down the road and saw the gently rolling hills ahead. Normally hills make me cringe. I don’t look at upcoming inclines and focus only on what is in front of me. But today I saw the hills and reminded myself I’ve run these hills countless times and today I’d just do what I could.

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Then the song “Talking is Hard” by Walk the Moon started playing. “I know everyone you know. You know everyone I know. A Venn diagram is one circle.” I smiled. My awful run and my happy take on it made a new Venn diagram – a diagram with only one circle!

I had one of the worst runs on this route ever – but only time wise. Every other aspect of this run was amazing. I saw horses, fields being worked by hand, seas of dandelions, and the positive of doing something good for my body and mind. For the first time ever I enjoyed an awful run. I found my happy every step.

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Green Green Green

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

I’m using: green ~ Irish ~ beer ~ sappy ~ juke box ~ closed the bar

They were submitted by:   Spatulas on Parade

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Well it’s that time of year again.  The time when even those with a little Irish in our heritage let our Green show to the world.  My father insists our Irish left us via diapers as babies and only our German heritage remains.  I beg to differ.

My Littlest had to dress as a green crayon for her most recent school concert.  (They have been doing more a show/theme than simply a concert – it’s actually pretty cool.)  I happily spent $10 buying her a little green skirt knowing full well she could utilize it on St. Patrick’s Day.  And if you know me at all buying something full price is NOT something I do lightly.  I know it’s a little sappy but she’s still little enough she’ll let me pick out her clothing for the day and I grab onto those moments when I possible.

Every year for the past four or five years I’ve run a race the weekend before (or of if it falls on) St. Patrick’s Day.  It’s called “Get Lucky” and it’s the largest 7K race around.  There’s also a 21K but with snowboarding I’m not trained up for that distance this early in the season.  It’s at 9am.  It’s insane.  There are serious runners.  There are serious runners like me that are turtles.  There are walkers.  There are people carrying beer as they run.  It’s huge…like 13,000 people huge so you get a little bit of everything!  There are a number of Irish bars along the route and particularly at the end.  And there’s this one that always has the door open and blares music out its old juke box to encourage us to run on…on to the end…on to the bar….where many will stay until they close the bar.

Personally I’ve never closed a bar.  I’ve stayed late at friends’ houses enjoying a beverage or several but never at a bar.  I wonder if it’s because I’m frugal…or more comfortable in a smaller group?  Or just never really had the opportunity?  Huh….

Actually the first time I ever had a beer after a race with my awesome blogging bestie Snarkfest when we ran the Marine Corp Half Marathon nearly two years ago.  I haven’t had a beer after a race since…I think I’m saving it for the special occasions I get to run with her…so NEXT MAY!?!?!?

Anyway – hope you have a spectacular weekend.  The weather is crazy weird here in western Wisconsin and we had a near record high yesterday…and that means nearly 70.  In March.  Our typical snowiest month.  I’ll take it.  (I’d rather be snowboarding – but at least this way when I run I won’t fall into any snow and ice covered ditches!)

AND!!!!  I am honor to be included in a soon to be released Anthology.  “Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor” or “SMITH.”  Check my Facebook page for release info : www.facebook.com/eviljoyspeaks.

Now…Go read some more awesomeness…..

EJ out – to get my roots to match the rest of my not gray hairs.

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                                 Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com                      The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/                    Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                             Someone Else’s Genius

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch                    Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                            Southern Belle Charm

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                        Searching for Sanity

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com                                  Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com                             Climaxed

PSA : Don't wreck my #RunHappy

Okay. It’s not hard.

Put your cell phone away while you are driving.


For the love of Pete. And Paul. Jack and Jane.

And me.

And you.

You may rationalize in your mind that you are a great driver and you can glance down with no problem. You’re experienced. You can check your text. You can dial a phone number.

And then you come over a hill. And down a hill. On a two lane back roads highway.

And I’m running. Towards you. Against traffic. With a flashy light thing on my arm closest to the road. With reflective shoes. And a reflective shirt. And pants of a color not found in nature.



As you hug my edge of the road I look behind me and there’s no oncoming traffic. I get onto the non-existent side of the road. You hug my side of the road even more tightly.

Then you look up. Or maybe it was your passenger that called your attention to my presence.

I stop running and get as far off the road as I can without ending up clear in the ditch.

You swerve over.

Maybe you saw me and didn’t think you were as close as you actually were. Maybe I’m a little jumpy.

But I saw a phone. A device. And you know what? You need to put it away and drive the large machine you’re controlling.

A large machine that would kill me if you weren’t paying attention.

The point?

Put your cell phone away and drive.

Don’t make my #runhappy into a #runsmooshed.

This has been a PSA by Evil Joy.

Rips and Tears

Dear running capris,

I know I use and abuse you. But frankly, that is your job. To be run in, sweat in and washed repeatedly.

I DO NOT appreciate you ripping at the inner thigh seam 2 miles into a hot run.

See, I’m not a little gal. My leg pudge must be contained.

When you create a little hole in the inner thigh region …. my leg fat smooshes its way out of that hole.

And rubs. Repeatedly. Against my other inner thigh. For 2 additional miles.

Creating the most painful blister ever.

On my thigh. Between my legs. Where said blister will be rubbed over and over as I walk tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that.

So guess what running capris.

You. Are. Garbage.

Literally. Throwing you away as soon as I get home!

Sincerely in pain,

Evil Joy

PS. You are the second pair of capris to have done this to me. No more of your cousins will be purchased. Going to a new brand. So take that. As I hobble away. 20140529-195322-71602459.jpg

Marathon Weekend : The Evil Joy Edition

The Evil Onion

Grandma’s Marathon, Duluth, Minnesota

23 June 2013

by Evil Joy

The 37th Annual running of Grandma’s Marathon occurred yesterday in Duluth, Minnesota.  And it was even more special due to the presence of Evil Joy and her Dr. Evil.  They started together.  They ran together.  They finished together.  Evil Joy did not have to follow through with her very real Evil Threat of leaving Dr. Evil in Duluth if he left her on the marathon course.

“He stayed with me.  Through the whole thing.” said Evil Joy.

The weekend started with Evil Joy and Dr. Evil departing Hudson, Wisconsin.  First stop : Awesome A’s house – Eldest Spawn was staying there for the weekend.  Their second stop was Auntie W’s house – now known as “Spawn Drop Zone.”  The final stop before their Duluth Destination was Auntie J’s house – renamed “Fur Spawn Drop Zone” as the pups stayed there for the weekend.

Evil Joy shares her memories of the weekend.

“The traffic wasn’t too bad considering it was a weekend and we, like most of the area, were heading north.  That’s what people do here on the weekend – they “go up north.”  Temperatures were warm in the cities but continued to drop as we approached our destination.  As the temperatures dropped, the traffic picked up!”










Evil Joy said the Expo was wonderful and she and Dr. Evil both made a few pre-race purchases.  Packet pickup was very smooth and nicely run.  All of the volunteers were amazing.  There is a spaghetti feed the night before the Marathon and Dr. Evil was very excited to partake.  Luckily for Evil Joy, they had a gluten-free option that was actually “pretty tasty.”

Evil Joy continues.

“We left the expo and made our way to the grocery store – our infamous ‘must haves’ for the morning of a long run.  I am addicted – mentally –  to my pre-run brown rice cakes with almond butter and 2 bananas.  We picked up a treat to have in the room as well – Greek yogurt with chocolate rice cakes to dip.  YUM!!!”

Evil Joy and Dr. Evil stayed at the University of Minnesota-Duluth dorms while in town.  They were very pleased with their accommodations.  While a hotel would have been amazing, it would have “broken the piggy bank.”

“It was time for bed.  I couldn’t sleep.  I was so very thankful for experienced friends sharing with us that no sleep is totally normal and not to worry about it.”

4:45am Saturday 22 June dawned….sort of.

“The fog was crazy!  Just when you thought you’d seen the worst of it – you’d lose more visibility.  Thankfully Dr. Evil and I were bused to the start of the race and didn’t have to drive in that mess.  We were up front – I get crazy car sick – and overheard the bus drivers desperately trying to get another lost bus driver – with a bus full of half marathon runners – to the start of the half.  The half started about an hour earlier than the full so those people were surely nervous!”

Evil Joy and Dr. Evil arrived at the drop site, found the sea of port-o-pots, and anxiously awaited the start.  “Well…I was anxious.  I don’t think Dr. Evil is ever nervous – he’s steady as all get out!” corrected Evil Joy.

The National Anthem was beautifully sung by a member of a local National Guard unit.  Then……it was time.

“There were people everywhere.  I am short and the group behind us – they must have all been over 6 feet tall!  They kept telling me when the line would move so I wouldn’t get run over!

We ran….and ran.  Started out with the 4:45 pace group.  At mile 4 I had to tell Dr. Evil I couldn’t maintain that pace for another 22 miles so we slowed slightly and ran with the 5 hour pace group.  Eventually they passed us too.  At that point – I just wanted to run and did NOT care about how long it took.  After 5 hours – who really cares if it’s 5 hours and 10 minutes or 5 hours and 30 minutes – that’s still a really long time to be moving!”

She continues, “The fog was so thick it literally looked like the sea of people were lemmings running off the edge of the world!”  The weather conditions deteriorated.  By Mile 3 the White Warning Flags were up.  From the race website, “WHITE FLAG (Risk of Hypothermia): The risk of hypothermia is very low, but still exists especially in slow runners or in wet and windy conditions.”  Evil Joy and Dr. Evil were quite comfortable with the temperatures while running.  “The wind was cold at times but we very much prefer that to being hot!” said Evil Joy.

“Finally…at mile 12 I gave in to the need I’d had since the start – and I mean the START of the race – I had to go to the bathroom.”

Evil Joy has a new name for Mother Nature – it’s one we can’t print here.  Let’s just say she was not thrilled with the timing of monthly events in her life at mile 12.

The race continued.  At Mile 20, sponsored by Verizon, Evil Joy and Dr. Evil saw two dear friends and seeing them gave the runners the energy to ‘just keep running…just keep running.’

“I thought Mile 25 was NEVER going to get here!” exclaimed Evil Joy.  Belly dancers were out in the now steady rain dancing under the overpass in Duluth’s historic downtown.

Finally…there.  The finish line.  Evil Joy said, “I was thinking…OH THANK GOD WE CAN STOP RUNNING SOON!  I just wanted my t-shirt and medal and to go on my blog page and put a line through one more thing on my Bucket List page!”

Evil Joy and Dr. Evil finished together at 5:36:45.  In the rain.  And oh so happy.  Dr. Evil is a man of few words but he posted this moving statement on Facebook :

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The Marathon is complete for another year.  When asked if she would do another one Evil Joy responded, “It’s like child birth – I need to forget a bit first before I think about doing it again.”

We had an amazing time together last weekend.  Thanks to everyone who helped us during training, running, traveling.  Dr. Evil’s statement on Facebook made me cry happy tears – during the race I kept thinking about how far we’d come.   I didn’t have any idea he was thinking the same thing.  He doesn’t talk much about all that happened.  I probably do that enough for both of us.  But his words healed a few places in me I didn’t realize needing healing.  So this was way more than a marathon.  Way more….

EJ out – to hobble to get some coffee.

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Rants by Evil Joy

Today’s Theme Thursday hosted by Something Clever 2.0The Next StepThe Insomniac’s Dream, and Mom With Her Running Shoes On.  The topic rants – actually – it’s “What drives you crazy?” but I’m going with Rant.  And I – being the Evil Awesome Overachiever I am – have TWO!

RANT #1 :

Let me paint you a picture.  Beloved Dr. Evil turns 39 TODAY and I want his birthday to be perfect.  In every way.  In the “I’m willing to be June Cleaver wife” today perfect.  (Minus the dress and pearls…not a fan of pearls…and I’m too busy for a dress.)

Saturday I took him on an adventure.  To a local (to the cities) business.  We were assisted by this amazing lady.  She knew her stuff, helped us make a decision, and gave us an estimate for The Big Green Egg.  After some long and hard thinking, Dr. Evil decided to take the leap and make the investment I wanted him to as a birthday/Father’s Day gift.

Tuesday I called.  They would call me back – couldn’t find the estimate.  Wednesday morning I called – they couldn’t find the estimate.  Wednesday night I called and was very succinct and told them I needed to place an order to be delivered today (Thursday are the delivery day for our area).

“Well, I work only at night and there are no notes here about anything.  Delivery tomorrow is impossible.”

I went a little Evil on her Arse.  “I have called your business multiple trying to make a rather large sale and now you can’t meet my requirements.  You have dropped the ball and I will be doing my business elsewhere.”  Proverbial slam of the first finger to the “End” button on my phone.  And by the way – it’s not the same as slamming a phone into the holder attached to the wall.  Not.The.Same.

Now I know “a rather large sale” to me and a rather large sale to them are two different things.  I get that.  But seriously for being a business that advertises it customer service and usually does such an amazing job of it….I’m Evil Angry.  What the heck people?!?  Get your Evil Crap together and be efficient and business like and do your freaking job!!!!  Normally not a big deal – I can be pretty easy-going.  Especially if you don’t try to place the ‘blame’ on me – I called DumbArse – multiple times.  COME ON!!!!

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Come on!?! Oh – check out (in the background) the curtains and rod I hung all by my Evil self! I’m pretty handy!

And being stubborn (me – never – oh no – I’m not in the least bit stubborn), I will either 1.) refuse to do business there and find another place 2.) go there in person and demand a discount and also speak to a manager and fill out comment cards there and on-line 3.) order the damn thing and suck it up.

I will report back with my decision….which will heavily rely on other locations that sell The Big Green Egg.


While in Virginia meeting my blogging idol Snarkfest we ran the Marine Corps Historic Half Marathon.  And like every other large race, there was an expo – a bunch of businesses peddling their wares at packet pickup.  I found these awesome shirts.  “I don’t sweat, I sparkle.”  “Mother Runner.”  Just plain fun.  And seeing as I forgot a shirt to run in, I was needing to make a purchase.  And seriously – these shirts were so fun – I would likely have purchased 3 or more…a couple for me and a couple for gifts.  Then……

This young man (early 20’s I’d guess – maybe younger – yes – definitely younger because that means I’m still pretty young right?) says to me, while straightening up what I was looking at, “You know – those are ALL smalls.  Bigger shirts are here.”  It wasn’t just what he said, but how he said it.

“I know.  I’m aware these are smalls.  But thanks for pointing out smalls won’t fit me.”

Arsehat.  You sort of had to be there to get the full effect.  I was channeling my inner Snark and was a little – shall we say – Snarotty.  Snarky and Snotty.  And honestly – I think he was annoyed I was going through his neatly organized rack.  Then shocked at my comment.  I derived a little fun from that…..come one – I’m Evil Joy after all.

What made this all better was the awesome reaction of Snarkfest and her running pal Lisa The Nazi Crack Ho.  (I have no idea how that became her running name – other than the woman can run like no other – will run with other people struggling to finish a race after she’s completed it – I mean jump back on the course and get them to the end – and she’s just plain awesome.)  “Did you really just say that?”  I thought Lisa was going to laugh out a kidney.  And Snarkfest was indignantly laughing right along with me.

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I’ve decided I need to be turtle like.  Go inside my shell and let the stuff roll off me.  I’ve had my rants – and my coffee – I’m ready for the day.  Bring it Thursday.


Oh God help me.  I’m going on a field trip with 2nd graders.  Remember the last field trip I went on – this is another play.  Actually two plays separated by a fair outside – I hope I don’t nap during BOTH plays.  I have a problem people, a problem.  I fall asleep during plays with school kids.  Can’t.Keep.My.Eyes.Open.

EJ out – to figure out how to take caffeine via IV so I will be alert the entire day.

Send me some awake thoughts – help an Evil Ranting Joy out – click on the juggling lady and get me back in the Top 10 Humor Blogs at Top Mommy Blogs.  I’m out of the Top 20 Humor Blogs at this point and you know you don’t want another rant…so come on, do your part…..please…pretty please…with sugar on top?


And one last thing – go check out the others linked up at Something Clever 2.0The Next StepThe Insomniac’s Dream, and Mom With Her Running Shoes On.  Those four are amazing bloggers and us tag alongs are soooo thankful for them!!!

More than Chaffing…

It’s been 1 year, 5 months and 23 days since Dr. Evil got sick. He’s all better and recovered. From kidney, heart, and liver failure, staph pneumonia, and rhabdomyolysis. From 10 days on life support.

From almost dying.

He’s all better.

Why am I still a mess? And why today of all days did I lose it this morning and break down in a sobbing mess of myself?

Because we run. We ran 17 miles on Sunday. That’s right…17 MILES.  Together.  Now stick with me on this next part.

Let’s just say I’m well endowed in the chest department so I have the über bitch of sports bras. But no matter how supportive of a bra I wear or how much Glide I use I have serious chaffing issues.  Yesterday’s case of chaffing was a new level of pain. I showered and sounded like a wounded dog when the water hit the injured skin. Dr. Evil put some Neosporin on my back where the clasp had created a 2 inch by 2 inch raw spot on each side of my spine. The other spots on the front I dealt with….

Then — last night before bed I had a bright idea. I’m going to get the wound care stuff from when Dr. Evil was sick and I had to tend his feet and head. I’ll use that stuff. Last night it was okay – we were joking about it. He said, “I know a good wound nurse!”

This morning I had to do some additional care on the spots. I got out more of the stuff. And that’s when I lost it. This bin of stuff in my closet. And this wasn’t even the beginning of all the supplies required to care for his feet and head when he got out of the hospital. Not even close.

And I started bawling.


His comment hit me hard. “I know a good wound nurse.” Who the hell knows a good wound nurse? Who has these supplies at hand? What woman with a background in applied mathematics and large weapon systems knows how to care for pressure wounds and digits affected by vasopressors (blood pressure meds used to keep him alive during the worst of his illness)?

Who has pictures of their spouse in a coma and intubated?

I do. And daily I function and most of the time — get by just fine. I have stopped panicking (for the most part) when ambulances go by. I can drive the stretch of the interstate where the hospital is located and not feel like I’m going to puke.  Things are better.  I am back to myself for the most part – there are so things that will always be different for me – like when he gets a cold – I get nervous.  Accept it – I have.  It’s so much easier to deal with when you accept those things you can’t change.

But you know what’s really cool?

The supplies used to heal Dr. Evil are working for me as we RUN together. All things have a purpose – I may not know what that purpose is – but today it is to bring me smiles as I realize just how fast and far we’ve come since November of 2011.

I have Dr. Evil’s permission to put these photos up…otherwise it would NOT be happening.  The photos are pretty gruesome – I’m not kidding here – so if you are weak in the stomach – you may want to skip this part.


Close your eyes and scroll down a ways….


Awake - out of a coma - in the hospital - lucky it doesn't hurt - nerves still 'sleeping'

Awake – out of a coma – in the hospital – lucky it doesn’t hurt – nerves still ‘sleeping’

After meeting with wound nurse in hospital - now home - seeing wound nurse again in a week.  Much improved.

After meeting with wound nurse in hospital – now home after 5 WEEKS! – seeing wound nurse again in a week. Much improved. Nerves still sleeping. THANK GOD – I have to rip off dead skin and it would KILL me if it hurt him. Everyday it takes about 45 minutes or more to care for his feet.














you can come back now if you scrolled through that part.


Life is good.  It’s great actually.  Days are back to normal – poor Dr. Evil – I get mad at him again and actually let him have it.  No more Mrs. Nice Evil Joy.  Screw that – I’m just Evil Joy!  I get to put all those supplies away and not use them unless I WANT to.  No longer do I spend every evening caring for his injured feet.  No way – he can do that now – but it’s NOT needed!!!   Although I will say I have a vested interest in his feet – if he doesn’t care for them – I get sort of annoyed that he’s not tending to his precious piggies after all that work I did….

Each day is a new day.  When Dr. Evil was sick – I was so glad he couldn’t feel his toes.  Now…it’s pretty awesome he can feel his toes and those toes are helping ME run a marathon.  He could totally kick my arse and run much faster, but he’s staying with me and running my pace.  I’m sure it has nothing to do with me saying, “If you leave me on the marathon course, I’m taking the car keys and driving home ALONE and changing the locks.  It’s a long walk home from Duluth.  Just sayin.”

Go live today.  It’s a gift.


EJ out – to live another day!


Please click on the juggling lady up there in the corner.  You’ll cast a vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs.  Fighting to stay in the Top 25.  Thanks!!!!

Summer Vacay

Summer is Approaching…Summer is Approaching.

Do you think of summer vacation as a trip … or a period of time where your spawn are not in school?

Last year, we didn’t go anywhere big….just camping.  In the camper Dr. Evil purchased as part of his ‘screw you I lived!’ campaign.  We didn’t get the camper until late July and still managed to get 4 trips in before school started.  It was pretty good – a lot of learning – a lot of fun – and a lot of plans made for repeat trips!

However, the other definition of summer vacation : spawn out of classes.

So…with the rose-colored glasses I’m currently wearing, we’ll be going to the beach (man-made Lake Elmo – we live in the midwest people).  We’ll go the library (once I pay off the fine I have for returning a book the spawn decided to leave in the rain).  We’ll have picnics and hike at the local Willow River State Park.

Baseball, softball, machine pitch 2 softball, and t-ball will be a treasured time where I will be able to make all the games and get everyone everywhere with the required equipment and clean uniforms.  The concession stocking and cleaning won’t be that bad and it’s sort of fun to deliver buns to 3 locations as far across town as you can get every. single. week.

We’ll work on maintaining the knowledge they gained at school in the current year by reviewing and reading daily.

–reality check—

Dr. Evil is still traveling a lot for work.  A lot.  Like 4 or 5 days a week, every week, from here to California.  When he is home, he’s juggling his work responsibilities, Booster board and webmaster responsibilities, our spawn activity load – especially Boy Scouts, and dealing with me.  Who is typically okay with the travel.  Except when I’m not.  When I’m done.  When I’m grumpy the last thing tended to on that list is me.  But I digress.

Baseball and softball (times 3) practices will inevitably conflict.  With only one of me and four spawn – none of which are old enough to drive – that makes for a lot of hurrying up and waiting – get to one practice – wait through it for the next one to begin. Thank God for good friends.  And clean uniforms – are you kidding me?!  They’re lucky if they have the right color of shirt on – we have so many from playing for multiple years on multiple teams I often forget which shirt is the current shirt and which is used for sleep clothing!  The beach is often met with resistance from Eldest Spawn who wants to sit home and play video games.  The library – every summer I have great intentions…which fall by the baseball-side every year.  And Willow River – we’ll go there – and fight the mosquitos.  But man – it is beautiful – hiking there is amazing.

Honestly, I like summer.  But I feel the pull of being super mom even more in the summer.  There’s a lot of kids who spend summers going on great trips or attending wonderful camps.  We spend the summer hanging out, swimming in our pool (which we set up in June), and jumping on the trampoline.  The slip and slide works great here because the yard is mostly flat (and poop free) so they can really fly…especially if you add just a touch of dish soap.  We will take the camper to places close by and hike and ride bikes and swim.  I let them watch television during the hot parts of the day and sometimes even more than that.  I try to plan trips to fun places in the cities…sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t.  I hope my spawn remember the times we spend together…the everyday fun we have.

I hope my spawn remember summer fondly.  I hope they enjoy the time we have together.  I know I do.

(most of the time)

EJ out – to run so I can play and get ready for visiting Dr. Evil in California!

This is part of Something Clever 2.0: Theme Thursday – a multi-blog collaboration. Click the button above to read posts from other bloggers, or to add your own.

You have got to check out Something Clever 2.0.  Aaaaaa.mmmazzz.balzzzz.

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Top 10…..

Thursday rolls around every week and I think, “How the hell did that happen?”

Friday is coming.  I should be excited and happy.  However…trying to think of things to do with the kids when the weather is mucky and yucky…..I can think of lots of things.  None of them will be met with the happy sounds of “Yipppeee!  Great idea Mama!”

Cleaning the garage.  Picking up doggy doo-doo from the last few months.  Taking down all the Christmas lights.  Clearing out the dead leaves on the plants that will be growing again.

And on Saturday (I hope)….12 miles.  12 miles of running.

I’ve run this far before…more than once.  More than twice.  But I’m nervous – last weekend’s run sucked.  I literally bawled about the hills.  Which is stupid.  But it didn’t matter at mile 4 with so many more miles to go and soooo many hills left yet to run UP!  The down part of the hill isn’t even happy when you see the next hill heading straight up at the bottom of the current one.

I’m hoping for Saturday instead of Sunday.  I just like getting it out of the way before Sunday.  No real reason…just like having one more day to recover and like getting it out of the way.

And since running is taking over my brain – here’s my top 10 suggestions for running in WI in the spring.

TOP 10 SUGGESTIONS for running in Wisconsin in Spring

1.  Wear leggings.  Except don’t.  Okay – do, but wear shorts underneath so you can strip if the weather changes 15 degrees in the 20 minutes since you started.

2.  Run in loops.  Lots of small loops.  Because if the weather went up 15 degrees in 20 minutes  – it will surely drop 25 degrees in the next 10 minutes.  You’ll need to put those leggings back on.  Until you need to take them off again.

3.  Plug your nose.  Cow poop stinks.  It smells.  Bad.  Really really bad.

4.  Plan on getting the splashed look.  It’s in.  It’s impossible to escape when you run along a highway in the spring in WI.  My favorite splashes are from cars who won’t give you an inch when there’s NO oncoming traffic and they’re shaking their fist or giving you the finger as they drive past.

5.  Dogs.  Lots of dogs.  Most have invisible fence.  Except Millie.  She’s the farm dog.  Who will herd you the entire way on a 6 mile run.  And an 8 mile run.  And a 10 mile run.  Good thing we start and stop at home and she lives across the street/highway.

6.  Keep one headphone in and one out.  This is to hear the watch beep of the 5-1 I run (run 5 minutes, walk 1 minute – the whole way).  This is also so you can yell at Dr. Evil for making you run hills.  And so he’ll notice if you drop dead at the top of the 245th hill we just ran up.

7. Be prepared for dead things on the shoulder of the road.  As the snow melts, the horror is revealed.  It’s like the Walking Dead of animals…except they’re really dead, not walking, and really freaking gross.

8.  Watch out for tractors.  Yes.  Really.  Especially the ones with tillers attached.  You may think you’re running fast.  Until a tiller catches up.  Then you run faster.  Until you get tilled.

9.  Sand.  Sand is wonderful on the beach.  Sand is wonderful in a sand box.  Sand on a road is slippery.  Yes.  Slippery.  Carry band aids.

And finally

10. Smile.  Dr. Evil will take random pictures.  And after last year, hopefully he learned he should take pictures of my front…not this……


Here’s some random running pictures from the last year….just ’cause.

EJ out – to chase the kids to the bus stop.

Thanks for helping me make the Top 25 Humor Blogs at Top Mommy Blogs.  I’m shooting for the top 10!  Click on the flashing juggling lady up there on the left (on mobile – click view full site and she’s at the bottom).  That’s it.  You’ll be redirected to Top Mommy Blogs.  You can close that window and every other window.  You’re done!  I excuse you from the day!

Have a great one!

It’s cold…and some other stuff…

So today we went out for a run.  Last Sunday we did 6 miles in the wind and it was freaking cold.  And I thought hilly.  Well – it was hilly.  Hard to not be hilly where we live.  It was about 35 degrees and sunny – but the wind had a BITE.

Today…time to make the donuts – I mean run again.  8 miles on the plate.  Sounds good.  We started out going downhill with the wind at our backs rather than running back home UP highway N with church traffic.  Down highway N – to Gilbert Road.  I love the names of the roads around here….Wilcoxson, Kinney, Gilbert, Tower (because there’s a ginormous tower on Tower Road)….  Actually felt really great.  I was pleasantly surprised how good I felt.  And after snowboarding yesterday and cleaning someone’s home for 4 hours!!

Then the dreaded TOWER Road Hill.  The never-ending-continuous – you think you’re up the hill and then your round a corner and – BAM – more freaking hill.  I HATE that part of Tower Road.

We made it up the most EVIL part of Tower Road.  And BAM – wind!

Wow – it got cold fast.  I usually sweat constantly.  Even when I’m cold.  So … running and getting warm for about 6 miles and then hitting wind like that – holy crap – FROZEN arm pits.  And other pits….we’ll leave it at that.  My water even froze!!!!

I needed to drink this.....brrrrr and grrrrrr...

I needed to drink this…..brrrrr and grrrrrr…

I had to get over my Evil Self Defeating Talk coming up the Evil Freaking Hill From Hell.  I got over it.  The hill and the talk.  And get my arse moving faster again because it was so freaking windy.  We made it home.

Where I took a super long, super hot, super steamy shower.  I’ve got on 4 layers on top and I’m still shivering!  Maybe time to drink some hot water.  (And yes, I know that’s weird, but it works and I like it!)

But you know the coolest (haha) think about this run….

  •  The gorgeous trees.
  • The quiet parts of the old county highways where little traffic comes.
  • The opportunities to notice hills and homes you normally fly past at 60 mph.
  • The interesting cracks in the road and the way the frost covers the black top.
  • The way the water freezes in patterns and how the sand on the road affects the patterns.

It. Was. Breathtaking.

And even more…I got thinking about how things will change between now and the end of June when Dr. Evil and I run Grandma’s Marathon in Duluth.  The trees, flowers, and birds (there are several eagle nests around here) and the differences that will be apparent.

Last week on our run I took a picture.  I know at some point again we’ll be in this same spot.  I hope to capture the changing seasons.

March 17th, 2013

March 17th, 2013


Here’s to a wonderful week.  I’m going to keep busy.  Dr. Evil is traveling.  I still get very nervous when he travels…but the spawn, their activities, and our life in general will keep me busy.  Especially since Dr. Evil was fixing the noise the dryer made and broke it for several days.  Now…laundry threatens to bury us.  Send me clean and bubbly thoughts!

EJ out – to drink some unfrozen, hot water.

SO….help me get back in the Top 25 at Top Mommy Blogs.  Click on the juggling lady.  Please.  Once a day.  Every day.  You can do it!


Also – buy this book!  I Just Want to Pee Alone.  You can get it on Snarkfest’s page (and others too…)



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