Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: safety

Give it 24 Hours

Summer is here. The season of fun relaxation, gatherings, and .… partying.
I wasn’t a party kid. I never drank in high school, have to this day never smoked anything and always – and will forever be – a giant rule follower. It is at times physically painful for me to break rules and watch others break the rules.

Now I have children who are adult, teenage and pre-teen aged. Opportunities and temptations abound. While I hope my kids make safe and sound choices, I need to know what to look for. I need to educate them on what to look for so they can make smart, appropriate choices. The onus is on me to make them aware. I didn’t grow up around alcohol. As a legal adult I enjoy adult beverages in my home and when out. In the state where I live, I may legally allow my children to consume in my presence, however, I choose not to do so. My choice isn’t a judgment on others who make different choices, it’s just where I am right now in the journey.

I want my kids to understand what healthy and unhealthy relationships with alcohol look like. There needs to be an open communication route.

In conjunction with that route – we have a rule. The “24 HOUR RULE.”

Definition: 24 HOUR RULE; My kid can call me from anywhere, any time of day or night and I will pick him/her up with no questions. I will deliver other kids home into the care of their parents if they need to leave whatever situation in which they’ve found themselves. For 24 hours, we will not speak about the circumstances.

If my kid made a poor decision or simply finds him/herself in an unsafe situation, I want them to know I will ALWAYS come for them.

When we discuss, we’ll begin with a fact-based dialogue. Who, what, where, when, how. Who was there? What decisions were made? Where were you and were adults there? When did you decide to be a part of this circumstance and when did you decide to leave? How did your decisions impact the outcome of the day/night/weekend? How do you feel about what happened? How would you deal with things differently if possible or needed?

Next, what are we going to do? Is there any recourse? Is there a need for a consequence? If so, what does that look like?

Lastly, I want the focus to be on next time. What does next time look like? How do you deal, navigate, choose, and avoid situations and or people that put in you a position where you activate the “24 HOUR RULE?”

Having open and honest conversations is a starting point for us. If we can talk about the little things now, when the hard stuff arises, we’ll have a path to follow. We’ll communicate and get through anything together.

And that’s why we have the “24 HOUR RULE.”

photo credit: Photo by Pixabay

PSA : Don't wreck my #RunHappy

Okay. It’s not hard.

Put your cell phone away while you are driving.

Please.

For the love of Pete. And Paul. Jack and Jane.

And me.

And you.

You may rationalize in your mind that you are a great driver and you can glance down with no problem. You’re experienced. You can check your text. You can dial a phone number.

And then you come over a hill. And down a hill. On a two lane back roads highway.

And I’m running. Towards you. Against traffic. With a flashy light thing on my arm closest to the road. With reflective shoes. And a reflective shirt. And pants of a color not found in nature.

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As you hug my edge of the road I look behind me and there’s no oncoming traffic. I get onto the non-existent side of the road. You hug my side of the road even more tightly.

Then you look up. Or maybe it was your passenger that called your attention to my presence.

I stop running and get as far off the road as I can without ending up clear in the ditch.

You swerve over.

Maybe you saw me and didn’t think you were as close as you actually were. Maybe I’m a little jumpy.

But I saw a phone. A device. And you know what? You need to put it away and drive the large machine you’re controlling.

A large machine that would kill me if you weren’t paying attention.

The point?

Put your cell phone away and drive.

Don’t make my #runhappy into a #runsmooshed.

This has been a PSA by Evil Joy.

A Drop Off Reminder

There have been numerous posts about the drop off lane at schools in the past few years.  You can read one of my favorites Here.

However, I feel it is time for a reminder.

The EVIL JOY 7 Commandments for Dropping Your Spawn at School

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1.  Thou shall wait calmly in line and not shoot ahead.  Parallel parking while a line is moving prohibits said line from moving.

2.  Thou shall have spawn ready to exit car.  Seat belts shall remain in place until vehicle has come to a complete stop.  However, hats, mitts, coats, boots, shoes, and other auxiliary pieces shall be attached to spawn so they may exit the vehicle efficiently.

3. Thou shall say “Goodbye’s” and “Love You’s” from your seat while remaining seat-belted in.

4.  Thou shall pull over, put car in park, unlock doors, and instruct spawn to exit vehicle on SCHOOL SIDE OF VEHICLE.  Thou shalt not allow spawn to exit on traffic side of vehicle.

5.  Thou shall remain seat-belted in and see spawn safely away from vehicle.

6.  Thou shall move with traffic as thoust line leaves exiting area.

7.  Thou shalt not disobey the previous six Commandments.

If thou must break one of the Commandments thou must either:

a.  Pull far enough ahead so as to not inhibit forward motion of rule following drivers who are not breaking said Commandments.

b.  Park.  For the Love of Pete.  Park and walk your spawn into the building.  Get the hell out of the way and park.  Just do it.  If you have to get out of your car and help your six spawn get their backpacks, mittens, hats and cellos on, move.  Get out of the way.

As a parent who drives spawn to school at least once a week, I know I fall into the category of Commandment breaker so I pull super far ahead out of the way and let my spawn get her cello out of the back of my truck.

The stress created by drop off and pick up is the MAIN reason I make my spawn ride the bus most days.   Other reason include….they have a bus stop, why not use it…and I don’t want to drive you to school because I have other stuff to do….and I don’t want to.

If we all just love each other and follow the above Commandments our world would be so much more peaceful.

So….Give Peace a Chance.  And Follow Evil Joy’s Commandments.

Or Else.  I’ll go Evil on your Arse.

EJ out – to get ready to employ my own Commandments.

An addendum to the above Commandments:  Please vote for Evil Joy Speaks at Top Mommy Blogs.  You just click on the juggling lady up there on the right.  Thanks!

Evil Oddness

Evil Joy here with a post on the oddities that are my Spawn.

So…just in case you have forgotten – it’s been a wonderful, hot, humid summer thus far. Lots of swimming, lots of gardening, lots of being outside, and lots of sweating.

Finally my Spawn have all (ALL!!) decided showering is a good thing, not a chore.  This rocks.  We have chlorine in our pool and swimming in the river…well…that requires a shower after….’nuff said.

To set the scene : Eldest Female Spawn has this super cute short pixie hair cut.  Her choice.  Not mine (although I secretly jumped for Me when she got it).  

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Middle Female Spawn just donated 10+ inches of hair so hers is chin length.  

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Littlest Female Spawn has feathers for hair so she has the Dora the Explorer hair cut minus the bangs.  

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Dr. Evil would like all Females in the family to have long, beautiful hair.  ummmm….until they can take care of it themselves….not happening dude.  Unless you stay home and brush it out and do it every single day…..That’s what I thought.  I’ve grown mine out longer than it’s been in over 5 years so that’ll have to do.  The Female Spawn…much more pleasant with shorter hair.  No chasing around and sitting on them to get their hair done properly before the bus comes.

Okay – on to the (more) odd part.  They – the Middle Female Spawn and Littlest Female Spawn – are OBSESSED with my blowdryer.  They are taking showers just to wash their hair – just so they can blow-dry it.  Weirdos.  It’s hot outside.  Like triple digit hot.  

(And no worries, I’m Evil Uber Crazy Safe Mama – I set it up no where near any water or sinks – in the hall way actually – and I make sure they can’t burn their sweet little heads.)

Littlest Spawn at 5:13 am this morning : Mama – mama – I want to take a shower.  Turn it on for me.

Me : umm no – it’s 5am.  Leave me alone and get out of my room.  Go watch a show if you can’t sleep.

LS : NO!  I WANT TO TAKE A SHOWER!  

Me : ummm nope.  In 2 hours you can take a shower.  When the first number on the clock is a 7.  Don’t talk to me about showers until then.

5 minutes pass.

LS : Can I watch a show.  Will you turn it on?  But since you’re getting up, why don’t you turn the shower on for me?  I can do the rest Mama.

Evil Giggle escaped my mouth.  I couldn’t keep a straight face.  4 year olds are not supposed to be this logical.

What a sweet face and Spawn to wake up with.  

She did have to wait until 7am to take a shower though….bawahahahahaha!

Showers – keep on working – with 4 women in this house – yikes.

Blow dryer – run – run while you can.  Hide.  They.Are.Obsessed.

Female Spawn – keep being sweet!  I love you!!!

EJ out – to go hide the blow dryer until tomorrow!

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