Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: scared

“I’m Terrified” Doesn’t Mean “I Can’t”

I have said the words, “I’m terrified,” multiple times in the past month. Those words have passed my lips in regards to getting on a plane and flying off to work with people I’ve never met, walking to my car in the dark after an uncomfortable, unwanted encounter, worrying about my kids and their futures, and even to my boss.

And you know what?  I am. I am scared. SOMETIMES.

Does that mean I can’t overcome? Does that mean I’m destined to fail?


What my words meant in those moments:

  • I trust you enough to be authentic.
  • I trust you enough to be real.
  • I trust you enough to not judge me.
  • I trust you enough to be me.

I quickly realized the limits, times, and places of those words matter greatly. My truthfulness isn’t always perceived in the manner I intend and I’m more aware of the power of particular words. Being open and direct is my tendency – if there’s an elephant in the room – I meet it head-on. Tough conversations only get harder when left to fester.

I’m comfortable enough in my own skin to admit when I am uncomfortable, anxious, or scared. With that comfort comes the freedom to express the inverse – pure happiness, excitement, and contentment. Sometimes being frank makes other uncomfortable. I’ve learned I can’t control or change what others feel – those feelings belong to that person. What I can do is proceed forward.

A lot of changes have occurred in the past months. Many more are coming. Life marches on. We can be dragged with on the journey or we jump in and skip along – possibly and hopefully affecting our path in amazing ways.

Sometimes the first step is terrifying. But it’s worth it. It’s okay to be terrified.

Just don’t ever let it stop you.


Me – Hauling a 45lb bag and a computer bag around Philly. Rather than sitting at the airport for 4 hours, I went and explored. Take that step – DO IT.

What The….

Evil Joy here with a post on screams.  Screams emanating from my one of my female spawn.  While I was in the bathroom.  Really……?!

So….let me set the scene for you.

Place and time : Tuesday morning – 6:45am, my kitchen and the bathroom off the kitchen.

Participants : Evil Joy (who was extra Evil because no coffee had yet been consumed), Eldest Female Spawn, Second Eldest Female Spawn, and Littlest Spawn.

Evil Joy is washing face (come on people – it’s the bathroom – do I really have to tell you what I was really doing?!).  Female Spawn are watching the weather channel (yes, my spawn are weird…you should know that by now).  Eldest Female Spawn (EFS) is warming up some waffles (made by the fabulous Dr. Evil).  Two Littles are still waking up and sort of standing around.

Then… IT happens.  The SCREAM.

A blood chilling, someone cut off my arm, someone is chasing me, someone tried to remove my spleen while I’m still awake scream.

I ran out of the bathroom.  And in my (not) calmest voice yelled said, “What in the world is going on?!”

It was…. a ….



Really – are you freaking kidding me?!  A spider?!  A scream from EFS who used to eat worms in the yard, who loves animals, who rescues every bug and other creature she can find?

Said spider floated down and landed on her syrupy waffles.  And then obviously scared by her scream flew to the underside of the plate.

Where I found him/her.  And squished it.

Now before you call the Spider Humane Society on me, know I normally release all captured beings into the wild.  But I was so perturbed by the SCREAM, temporary insanity set in and I squished it.  (Trust me – I don’t squish things anymore…not after…Fizzy….)

Eldest Female Spawn tried to throw away her waffles.  Ummm…heck no!  You will not waste food.  You will eat them.  It’s not like the the dog licked your food!!!

So spiders – listen up.  I love ya.  I love that you eat other bugs – particularly mosquitos.  But for the Love of Pete – please stop visiting the food my spawn are eating while they are eating it.  Seriously.  Knock it off.  Spread the word about my murder of your friend today.  Stay off food in my lair.

Spawn – do NOT scream like that anymore…ever again.  Ever.


EJ out – to do the dishes.  And pack lunches.  And kick spawn out the door for the bus.

And Remember – Sharing is Caring – if you liked this – share it.  Comment – let me know what you think…

Also….if you can take a minute to calm my nerves…..click on the TMB juggling lady to cast a vote for Evil Joy Speaks.  Thanks!

(image source : abovetopsecret.com)

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