It. It being the equal use and distribution of the bed sheets, blanket, and comforter. Along with the bed itself.
Dr. Evil is a blanket hog.
(He will say I am.) However I make the bed each day and have to tug, pull, and yank the sheets, blanket, and comforter back to the middle. Me and my OCD ways of 90 degree corners and straight edges requires said tugging, pulling, and yanking.
Once upon a time, say 16 years ago, Dr. Evil and I used to sleep all cuddled up as newlyweds should. Then….I got sick of my arm being numb until lunch time only to repeat again the next day. And the man is a heater when he sleeps. Seriously, you can see the steam rising off of him as he slumbers. I’m no freezer of sleeper either so together we would have created supernova style heat and I’d have to wash sheets and blankets because they would end up smelling like my workout clothes after a day or two. (And for any of you going in a different direction with that – get your heads out of the gutter!)
Then Dr. Evil and Evil Joy moved from southern Missouri to Minnesota. In December. December 28th to be exact! Our first anniversary night out was provided by his ‘new’ company as we were moving up here for him to start. (And for me to finish my senior year of university. Don’t let anyone you love transfer their senior year.
It sucks. Unless they’re blissfully in love and nothing else matters!) We learned what cold was all about and we needed to purchase more blankets to stay warm. And our apartment was the top story of a building and not insulated in the best fashion. It was so cold! So cold. Back to cuddling we went.
As time passed, a little less than a year, we built our first house. Or rather had it built. With proper insulation. And heating. And not three stories up. End cuddling. Plus I got pregnant with Eldest Spawn and I was so freaking hot all the time I couldn’t stand anyone to touch me! Cue end cuddling.
Then the babies kept coming. And the dogs. And we moved to this house about 10 years ago. And finally got a king sized bed. I was sick of getting the boot to the couch where I would find myself in the middle of the night. Only to awake with babies and dogs on me on the couch and Dr. Evil peacefully slumbering in bed. Now we had a KING SIZED bed.
And more kids. And more dogs.
Last night Burton puppy kept sneaking onto the bed. He worms his way up from the bench at the end of the bed, to my toes, to my knees until he’s stretched out like a human between Dr. Evil and me! And seriously – he’s a dog. Three Dog Night anyone? He’s warm. He snores. He farts. And he’s a DOG. GET OUT OF MY BED NOW! (And yes, he does sleep like this at times – it’s freaking hilarious!)
By the time I get him out of bed, he has messed the blankets so that Dr. Evil has wrapped up warmly and I’m left with the corner. Of the comforter. That’s it. No sheet. No blanket.
Until a spawn comes in to snuggle with me in the morning. Sleepy spawn are the best for warming up a cold Evil Joy. Then they fall back to sleep and generate heat. Too much heat.
And I end up on the couch. Again.
With a dog.
EJ out – to make the bed and yank and pull sheets to their proper placement.