Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: Snowboarding (page 1 of 3)

That Tingle

An awareness. A tingle. The feeling when you’re connected to those you love and you know something is happening. From the hairs on the back of your neck to that feeling in the pit of your stomach. You know something is up.

I knew. I just knew. I also knew whatever was happening was something I couldn’t fix. I was instructing snowboarding on another mountain, and my family was all together. I refused to look at my phone during the short group break in the afternoon, knowing that the lesson was nearly over and whatever had my senses on fire would be waiting for me. I also doubted my intuition as I’d had a rough morning on the mountain – that turned into a fabulous afternoon – but still – I was unsettled.

My lesson ended. I sent my clients off and hustled back to the locker room. As soon as I was at my locker, I pulled out my phone. I saw a message that said, “Give me a call when you’re done for the day.” I was thankful for the zen nature of the text. Given the fact that between the six of us we’ve had; one broken wrist, arm, and elbow, a broken tailbone, concussions, a torn rotator cuff, broken shoulder pieces, a separated AC joint, and more bruises than one can count – that calm text kept me from freaking out.

One of my girls was injured. Her knee. I got to talk to her and she fell to pieces. I asked calmly was she in that much pain, sad, or just plain pissed off. Sobbing, she told me, “YES!” Day one of our week-long trip and she got hurt. At the backside of the third mountain on the resort she was riding. She was given amazing care and was kept comfortable by the patrollers who transported her the entire way to the front side where the medical facility is located. She’s doing better now, wearing a brace and using crutches.

What is that connection we as moms have? I can always feel when something if off. Is it just being perceptive? I was feeling terrible about the morning I’d had and was trying so hard to shake it off but right about the time my girl was hurt I just couldn’t let it go. I thought I was overthinking my morning and struggling with those events. But that wasn’t it at all and in my heart, I knew that.

This gift we have as parents to see and feel things about our children isn’t something I take lightly. I’ve been known to overreact (Me? Really?) but there are times I just know something is up. Even though she was 20 miles away in the middle of another mountain, I could sense it.

I hope she could feel the love I was sending out. I wasn’t sure where I was sending it but I knew those vibes and energy were needed. And I’m grateful it was a knee that needed it. She’ll heal and be back to her normal, crazy busy self sooner than later.

At the end of the day, we’re all here, together, safe, and warm. Although this trip isn’t going as planned, we’ll make lemonade out of lemons and have a blast. While a few of us were bemoaning sunburned lips, she put on chapstick and said, “Suckers – I won’t get burned this trip!” We are coming up with nicknames and right now “Crutch Girl” is in the running as a top contender.

I’ll keep that mom-spidey-intuition-sense-radar on the scanner option. Here’s hoping it doesn’t get triggered.

Tell me – do you know when things happen? Do you get that feeling? How does it affect you and those around you? I’d love to hear from you!

Time to Fly

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 13 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Climaxed submitted this awesome topic : Someone has come up with a potion (Harry Potter style) that will bring luck to anyone who drinks it. You’re offered a free test if you write about your day on your blog with the caveat that you wait for something pretty important going on–meaning the company doesn’t want you to take it and write about a regular but super lucky day at home. They’re really wanting you to test the boundaries of the potion and show your audience what it can do. What might you use yours for? Write about your luckiest day.

Here goes….

“Today’s the day!” I think as I pack up my gear for a day at the hill. I’m going to go and attack the jumps and features for the first time while snowboarding. Normally I’d just head over and ride, starring at the tow rope pulling people up to the top of the terrain park. Normally I’d watch on the lift, cranking my head around as far as I can, in awe of people in the park.

Today…I’m doing it. Because today…I get to try the “Potion.” Since I’m not allowed to enter politics or the medical field on this trial of the potion, I can’t find the solution for world peace or the cure for MS or cancer. I’m supposed to make a day extraordinary by pushing my boundaries within my own world. I decided if I can do these things I’ve dreamed of doing, have worked towards but not yet achieved, and succeed with this potion, there’s hope for making it happen without the potion too!

I’m a decent snowboarder. I can get out of most anything I get into….except that one time when my son had to rescue my laughing self when I got into too thick of trees. (He heard me “cackling” and found me, found us a route out, and marveled I had gotten that deep without hugging a tree!) It may not be pretty or perfect, but I love a good challenge and will take on moguls and steeps with a smile on my face and in my heart.

Boxes, features, and jumps….uummmm nope. I have done some boxes – at the speed of snail – going so slowly that I fall due to lack of forward motion not balance.  Jumps…I dream. I dream of finding that right combination of physics, fear, exhilaration, and skill.

Today I do. I’ve decided this is the test. My personal ultimate test of the “Potion.” Today will erase the memories of being stuck with a child on an icy hill, not visible from above, not able to get her to move, as people and their harsh words flew around us. Today will replace the days of doubt and make the mountains of bruises worth it. I will jump and feel like I’m flying. And it will be awesome.

I put the potion in my front pocket, ride the lift to the top, and get off. I am so terribly fearful of the lift – it’s really ridiculous. But I don’t want to waste the potion on something I should not fear and have conquered several times over. I strap in, drink the potion down, and take a test run.

Okay. This is okay. I can do this. I carve a little. And back to to the top we go.

Back up. To the top.

Time to fly.

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Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:


Baking In A Tornado

The Bergham Chronicles

Spatulas on Parade

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver

Southern Belle Charm

Confessions of a part time working mom

Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

The Lieber Family Blog

Never Ever Give Up Hope

When I Grow Up




Share the Hill…..a poem by Evil Joy

I’m not looking to start a debate.  I looking to set the record straight.

Skiers and Snowboarders need to play nice.

Both of us like the snow but despise the ice.

There is this big hill in front of us.

No need to charge down it like a runaway bus.

Make no assumptions about me and I’ll make none about you.

Be kind to your fellow snow lover and they’ll be kind too.

Just because I’m on a board doesn’t mean I’m rude or will cop an attitude.

Just because I’m a board doesn’t mean I’m in a mood.

Please know I can’t see all around.

I’m not trying to be out of bound.

But if you ski up behind me on my blind side.

I may end up bumping your ride.

Not because I want to.

Not because I dare.

But because I can’t see you around over there.

So let’s share the slopes without attitude or assumption.

Let’s ride this season while there’s still snow on the hill.

Let’s share this hill and have yet another thrill.

By Evil Joy


That was fun wasn’t it?  My lovely poem was inspired by a few experiences this season.  I’ve had more than one ski instructor mention to me (while riding a lift together with a board strapped to my foot!) how they look for the boarder kids because they know the kids board because of or they may have…attitude.  I was appalled.

First – Did you not notice the board stuck to my foot here right night to your skis?

Second –  I didn’t assume anything because you ski.  Quite the opposite in fact.  I don’t know how to ski.  It looks cool but I’m afraid of two legs going in separate directions.  So more power to YOU!

Third – I’ve had more skiers run into me and knock me over or cut me off than boarders this season.

Preconceptions and generalizations be damned.

You’ve got to understand.  I’m overly aware of my surroundings.  I make sure I’m well out of the way and not in the path of skiers while putting on my board.  I get out of the way.  I make sure my spawnily of six is compact and not taking up the top of hill while we get ready to ride.  Since skiers are faster at the lift, we are courteous and let them ahead if arriving at the same time.  If I fall getting off the lift I scoot my arse out of the way so I don’t force a lift stop.  I look all around while STILL ABLE TO LOOK ALL AROUND (BECAUSE I’M NOT MOVING DOWN THE HILL WITH ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER) and make sure I’m not going to cut anyone off.  Down the hill from me is my responsibility.  Up the hill from me is not, but I’ll be damned if I’m not aware of all around me as much as I can.

And mostly, I don’t make assumptions about skiers.  Please don’t make assumptions about me or my spawn.

So play nice.  I play nice.  Like Miley Cyrus, “I didn’t want to start a war.”  Just want to share the hill.

EJ out – to write some more stellar poems for you my Lovies!

I’ve fallen off the standings for Top Mommy Blogs.  Help this snow loving girl work her way back up.  Just click on the juggling lady there on the right.  If you’re reading this on a mobile device scroll down.  Thanks!



It’s cold here in Wisconsin.  And this year it’s damn cold.

As the Evil Joy spawnily snowboards (and unless you’ve never read my blog or Facebook page you know this….or you live under a rock), we are prepared for this tundra like weather.

Here is a tale.  A Tale of Layers.

Layers Required to Prevent A Frozen Evil Joy

Layer One :

Grannie Panties of the Nth Degree.  Because if a wedgie occurs, there’s no getting that out of the business through all the layers.

Sports Bra from Hell.  Because I need it.  ‘Nuff said.


Layer Two :

Outdoor Running Leggings.  They’re slightly fuzzy on the inside and spandex-y on the outside.

Base Layer Long Sleeved Shirt.  It’s too small.  But it tucks into Outdoor Running Leggings.

And God help anyone who sees this layer.  Dr. Evil isn’t even allowed anywhere near when this layer is stand alone.


Layer Three :

Cool Weather Running Capris.  They’re thicker than the normal capris I wear when running.  And a bit longer

Long Sleeve Tech Shirt.  Usually one that says “Run Your Giblets Off” because..yeah…it says “Run Your Giblets Off.”


Layer Four :

Sweat Shorts – Bermuda Length.  Otherwise my arse freezes to the lift chair and then all hell breaks loose.

Long Sleeve Tech Shirt.  Usually the other one that says “Run Your Giblets Off” because we have two of them.


Layer Five :

Snowboarding socks.  Because I’m snowboarding.  And they’re long.  And only one pair in this lair is wool free and if anyone tries to wear them besides me I get pretty Evil.  There are 20 other pairs of socks around here – stay off mine.

Long Sleeve Tech Shirt.  Now we’re onto the “Grandma’s Marathon Training” one.


Layer Six :

Bottom layer is done but for Snowpants.

Top Layer required a hoodie.


Layer Seven :


Snowboard Jacket.

(I got lazy taking pictures so there’s one to encompass the next three layers…..)

Layer Eight :

Wrist Guards.  Yes.  I wear them after breaking my wrist the first time I ever went snowboarding.

Layer Nine :


Neck gator.

Face Mask.

Hot Packs for hands.  Hot Packs for feet.


Goggles.  Only if it’s bright enough because I don’t have goggles with lenses for low light.



Layer Ten :




And Finally….

A board.

Now…I’m ready to board.  And even with all these layers I’m still able to bend and strap in!!  Let’s shred!

EJ out – to now undress from 87 layers of clothing in order to drive that cello to school AGAIN!  Gah – only 6 more years – then she’ll be able to drive her own cello to school!  (And her sisters!)

Help keep a now nearly naked Evil Joy warm by clicking on the Top Mommy Blogs icon on the upper right there in the corner.  Thanks!!!!!

Baby It's Cold Outside….

Yeah Yeah Yeah – I know it’s cold outside.  It’s freaking freezing outside.  Literally.  Like -22 degrees Fahrenheit this morning.  (Yeah – it went up by 4 degrees by the time I took a screen shot.)


I am aware of where I live.  I know we choose to live in the northern parts of the midwest.  However, regardless of where you live, even Antarctica, -22 degrees Fahrenheit is cold.  Damn cold.  And that’s the air temperature.  Don’t get me started on wind chills.  And how they’ve changed the way they measure wind chills in comparison to the olden days.  As in today’s -44 degree Fahrenheit wind chill is equivalent to -66 degree F back 10 years ago (or something like that).

At least if we have a good old fashion snow day where no one can get anywhere, we can simply bundle up our spawn, open the door, dig a trench, and kick them out.  When the spawn were younger I would bundle them up, get them playing and set a timer.  I’d lock the deck door so they couldn’t come in until said timer went off.  (Come on now, it was only about 20 minutes and they were dressed to survive the next ice age!)  And now that they’re older I’ll even take on treacherous roads to snowboard if there’s nice, new, fluffy snow. for me to fall on.











But this cold.  This cold that keeps me from snowboarding and sending my spawn OUTSIDE to run off their boundless ENERGY?!  I mean really Mother Nature?  What’d we ever do to you?

I will be required to punch the first person to complain about the heat this summer if they are under the age of 60.  I say under the age of 60  because I’m not on the hook to follow through and punch one of my mom’s friends or something like that.  (And no.  I am Evil Joy but I would NEVER punch someone!?!  Well…probably not).

So even though I’ve complained about the cold, I guess we should all embrace this day.  Because, well, why not?!  Being mad about it isn’t going to change it.  I’m spending the day with friends and their children running around either my lair or theirs or both.  We’ll bake something, make a craft, do laundry, and drink coffee.  This is NOT the normal life of a stay at home mom – but when it’s too cold to do the normal running around with spawn in tow – why not make memories, right?!?!


Carpe SNOW and ICE.

EJ out – to shower and dry my hair so it doesn’t become freeze-dried scariness.

I’ve seriously fallen off the wall on the Top Mommy Blogs.  Would take a minute to warm my frozen heart and click on the Top Mommy Blogs juggling lady up there on the right?  Thanks!!!!


Today’s post is a writing challenge that I hope you find as much fun to read as it was to write. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

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At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

I’m using: soup’s on ~ hot dog ~ oh no ~ for real ~yeppers ~ righteous

They were submitted by:   Spatulas on Parade

Here goes!!!!

Once upon an Evil Time, Evil Joy went snowboarding.  (And yes, I know I’m obsessed.)  She was such a HOT DOG.  Always trying to be RIGHTEOUS like the young kids.  FOR REAL, she’d be out on the slopes trying to board goofy (the equivalent of skiing backwards), attempting flat 360’s (spinning around), or some other skill not yet mastered.

See ….the first time Evil Joy went snowboarding was right after Dr. Evil returned to work after being off for 5 months.  When he tried to kick the bucket and experienced life support and all that jazz.  Sensing Evil Joy’s anxiety levels (higher than the tallest building), two amazing friends decided on a fun day out for Evil Joy.  Snowboarding.  After 4 fun hours on the bunny hill, Awesome Amy, Wonderful Deb and Evil Joy had lunch.  And returned to the bunny hill.  Where upon Evil Joy said, “I should be wearing my spawn’s wrist guards!”  And down she fell…immediately after said statement….and YEPPERS…broke both bones in her wrist.  And fractured her elbow.

Later that week, Evil Joy bought a snowboard, refusing to be beaten.  And last season, Evil Joy mastered the beginner level snowboarding skills.

Now this year Eldest Spawn is constantly badgering Evil Joy to try a box.  And Evil Joy always replies, “OH NO!  I’d break my Evil Arse.”  Eldest Spawn, in all his RIGHTEOUS indignation, said, “Mom – you can totally do this.  FOR REAL.  You got it.”

Then on a magical evening, the mystical and nearly impossible to find Date Night, Dr. Evil and Evil Joy went … yes, snowboarding.  Together.  Without spawn.  Dr. Evil was bound and determine to try a box.  Evil Joy was bound and determined she was not going to take care of his Evil Arse if he broke it landing on the box versus riding over it.  And lo and behold…Dr. Evil did it!!  Evil Joy chickened out.  Multiple times.  Got to the start of the box and darted to the right of it and went around.  Multiple times.

And then….

At the pace of a snail, Evil Joy went up the ramp.  Onto the box.  And landed it.  RIGHTEOUSly.

Screen Shot 2014-01-16 at 8.18.36 PM

And promptly fell on her Evil Arse due to being excited about landing it.

Out of the chalet, the chef magically appeared to yell, “SOUP’S ON!  And it’s full of HOT DOGS!”  He spoke with RIGHTEOUS strength of one who appears from thin air to make soup containing HOT DOGS.

EJ out – to celebrate my birthday by… you guessed it…SNOWBOARDING!

ps – I have a giveaway going on until tonight on my blog page.  You must access it from a computer – won’t work through mobile devices (I’ll work on that for next time!)  Throw you hat in!  www.facebook.com/eviljoyspeaks

I have no idea how far I’ve fallen in the Top Mommy Blogs, but if you can find it in your HOT DOG of a RIGHTEOUS heart to click on the juggling lady in the upper right there, I’d be very grateful!  YEPPERS!  And I will be around more in the coming weeks!  I KNOW you’ve missed my regular blogging awesomeness.

andddddd…pss – it’s my birthday.  Really.  Today.  January 17th!  It’s a day to celebrate!  I love my birthday like a biker loves his chaps!

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

http://BakingInATornado.com                   Baking In A Tornado

http://www. JuiceboxConfession.com        Juicebox Confession

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch          Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com           Battered Hope

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com          Spatulas on Parade

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com               Evil Joy Speaks

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/          Stacy Sews and Schools

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com.au            Searching for Sanity

http://www.justalittlenutty.com                         Just A Little Nutty

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com               The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                   Follow me home . . .

http://dates2diapers2.blogspot.com                         Dates 2 Diapers 2

TToT #27

So Lizzi at Considerings does this awesome Ten Things of Thankful (#TToT) each weekend.  This time she upped the challenge because she made it a contest!  After the awesome little pic there in the middle are the question she asked and the answers I gave…..Read on people.  And have a great weekend!
I’m so thankful for a number of things.
1.  Lizzi and this list.
2.  My weekend snowboarding – it was cold as hell – wait – it was cold as the inverse of hell – but it was fun.
3.  Dr. Evil being so into cooking – I don’t have to on the weekends.
4.  Eldest Female Spawn being so patient with Littlest Spawn on the hills.  I wasn’t so patient but she was.  And Littlest LOVES boarding with her.
5.  A secret for a friend – super excited but can’t spill the beans because it’s a Christmas present for her family.
6.  Coffee with sweet cream creamer to warm me up after snowboarding.
7.  Wine to numb the boo-boos from snowboarding after I’ve warmed up.
8.  No dog poo-poo to clean up – thankfully he’s feeling better!
9.  Laundry.  As silly as it is – we have clothes to wear and a washing machine and dryer to deal with them.
10.  Snow.  I love snow.  I love cold – and by golly – it’s -4 degrees Fahrenheit.  I’d say that qualifies.
Have a great weekend my Evil Lovies…..
Ten Things of Thankful
So part of the deal this week is to answer the questions about the co-hosts.  Below are the questions and my answers – along with my reason for said answer.

1. This co-host cannot STAND an open door, and feels decidedly uncomfortable in a room where one is open.

 Joy because even this is isn’t about me – it describes me!

2. This co-host learned to whistle before being able even to walk or talk.

Kristi because I chose the first one on the list.

3. This co-host risked life and limb walking down the hill of a HUGE roller-coaster, which had broken mid-ride.

Dyanne since Dy is in her name and she risked Life…..

4. This co-host is VERY spooked by cats and doesn’t like them at all. Cats LOVE her, though. All cats. All the time.

K2 because K2 makes me think of ‘Kitty Kitty’

5. This co-host was a member of her High-School debate team.

Joy  because as a Joy I can debate anything to the death!

6. This co-host traded kisses with a neighbour when they were both six years old. Oh, and the kisses were on the ASS!

Lizzi – I think we talked about this once….

7. This co-host taught in a school for the hearing-impaired.

Melissa – because you were the first name and I don’t recall which of you did…

8. This co-host has two dead hamsters in a toilet-roll middle, in the freezer.

Zoe because my niece (not the one named Zoe but another niece) had this situation when my daughter was born – we almost named there the name of the hamsters – Lucy Mae – we went with Charlotte

9. This co-host was born in a taxi-cab on the way to the hospital.

Clark – seems sort of like a Clark Griswald story….

10.This co-host once got stuck in a bog, lost her boots and had to go to a piano lesson with half her clothes missing (because mud).

Lizzi – don’t know where any bogs are so…..”

Blogger Idol AND Theme Thursday ….

So…how cool is this – two birds with one stone people!?!?  Gotta love when the stars align for a minute or two….

Today the #ThemeThursday’s theme : Fall.  Or Autumn.  Or the time before winter.  Or the time after hotter then the fires of hell summer.  Or as it’s known in our lair – snowboard prep season.

OR ….

TIme to Audition for BLOGGER IDOL!

Yes, you read that correctly.  Blogger Idol.  Blogger Idol is this amazing contest where bloggers new and old throw in their hats and 12 are selected to blog until the DEATH.  No…not really.  But there’s an elimination contest and over the course of 12 weeks of blogging assignments a winner is chosen and amazing prizes are awarded (click here to see the LIST!).  But more than that – you learn more about some seriously wonderful bloggers.  I found blogs I hadn’t yet discovered and now follow.  The judges …. other bloggers.

Now…besides Blogger Idol auditions….

More of the many reason fall is my favorite season….(well…it was until I learned to snowboard….now it’s tied with winter) warm soups for dinner, bread baking (as long as I can find a good GF recipe), BACK TO SCHOOL for the spawn, the gorgeous colors of the trees along the river, and football for Eldest Spawn.  I admit it – until he started playing, I was not too interested in professional football.  I grew up in Iowa – where you cheer for the Hawkeyes or the Cyclones.  Or maybe the Panthers.  So college football held my interest but not professional.  Now…8th grade football has me engrossed in everything from well, 8th grade to the Packers.  And even more…I love the fun family and friend gatherings to ‘watch’ football (READ : eat whatever is brought).  And running.  I love to run outside in the fall.  The crisp air.  The clear roads.  The pretty trees to distract me from wanting to die before I get to the end of my route.

So go check out other awesome posts for #ThemeThursdsay hosted by the amazing Something Clever 2.0, The Next Step, The Insomniac’s Dream, and Mom With Her Running Shoes On.

AND….Check out Blogger Idol!  You can follow on Facebook and Twitter!

EJ out – to go to the TWINS game to celebrate AWESOME AMY’s Birthday.  Watch out Twins – Awesome Amy, Fighting DD Deb and Evil Joy are entering the field.

It’s cold…and some other stuff…

So today we went out for a run.  Last Sunday we did 6 miles in the wind and it was freaking cold.  And I thought hilly.  Well – it was hilly.  Hard to not be hilly where we live.  It was about 35 degrees and sunny – but the wind had a BITE.

Today…time to make the donuts – I mean run again.  8 miles on the plate.  Sounds good.  We started out going downhill with the wind at our backs rather than running back home UP highway N with church traffic.  Down highway N – to Gilbert Road.  I love the names of the roads around here….Wilcoxson, Kinney, Gilbert, Tower (because there’s a ginormous tower on Tower Road)….  Actually felt really great.  I was pleasantly surprised how good I felt.  And after snowboarding yesterday and cleaning someone’s home for 4 hours!!

Then the dreaded TOWER Road Hill.  The never-ending-continuous – you think you’re up the hill and then your round a corner and – BAM – more freaking hill.  I HATE that part of Tower Road.

We made it up the most EVIL part of Tower Road.  And BAM – wind!

Wow – it got cold fast.  I usually sweat constantly.  Even when I’m cold.  So … running and getting warm for about 6 miles and then hitting wind like that – holy crap – FROZEN arm pits.  And other pits….we’ll leave it at that.  My water even froze!!!!

I needed to drink this.....brrrrr and grrrrrr...

I needed to drink this…..brrrrr and grrrrrr…

I had to get over my Evil Self Defeating Talk coming up the Evil Freaking Hill From Hell.  I got over it.  The hill and the talk.  And get my arse moving faster again because it was so freaking windy.  We made it home.

Where I took a super long, super hot, super steamy shower.  I’ve got on 4 layers on top and I’m still shivering!  Maybe time to drink some hot water.  (And yes, I know that’s weird, but it works and I like it!)

But you know the coolest (haha) think about this run….

  •  The gorgeous trees.
  • The quiet parts of the old county highways where little traffic comes.
  • The opportunities to notice hills and homes you normally fly past at 60 mph.
  • The interesting cracks in the road and the way the frost covers the black top.
  • The way the water freezes in patterns and how the sand on the road affects the patterns.

It. Was. Breathtaking.

And even more…I got thinking about how things will change between now and the end of June when Dr. Evil and I run Grandma’s Marathon in Duluth.  The trees, flowers, and birds (there are several eagle nests around here) and the differences that will be apparent.

Last week on our run I took a picture.  I know at some point again we’ll be in this same spot.  I hope to capture the changing seasons.

March 17th, 2013

March 17th, 2013


Here’s to a wonderful week.  I’m going to keep busy.  Dr. Evil is traveling.  I still get very nervous when he travels…but the spawn, their activities, and our life in general will keep me busy.  Especially since Dr. Evil was fixing the noise the dryer made and broke it for several days.  Now…laundry threatens to bury us.  Send me clean and bubbly thoughts!

EJ out – to drink some unfrozen, hot water.

SO….help me get back in the Top 25 at Top Mommy Blogs.  Click on the juggling lady.  Please.  Once a day.  Every day.  You can do it!


Also – buy this book!  I Just Want to Pee Alone.  You can get it on Snarkfest’s page (and others too…)



Evil Toys are Taking Control….

A while back I wrote about our doll houses inspired by a  post from The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva.  (And she’s a part of that new book all the cool kids are getting “I Just Want to Pee Alone.”)

Here’s a small recap of that…..through pictures….




Y’all remember Evil Scary Baby Girl/Boy right?  She gave several of you nightmares…..


And now…the Evil Spawn of the Doll House are ruling the world….Muwahahahahah!

Breaking New in the Lair of Evil Joy….beep beep beep …. you know…the sound of breaking news…….


As you can see the spawn have gathered.  With their nanny.  And with the newly brain washed toys joining their Evil Little Posse.  I believe Evil Scary American Girl Doll is in charge.  I’m sure as hell not about to question her authority.

The Fairy God Mothers are currently trapped on a partition of the roof.  Their magic powers are inactive from this part of the roof.  They are helpless to stop what is happening in the main house.


All animals have been banished to the actual roof.  Although they’d support the Evil Spawn I’m sure.  Probably just making sure they don’t go all zombie and eat the … wait…..you’ll have to read about that….  I’m certain the Evil Spawn will offer them food and water later.  The Evil Spawn don’t seem the type to let them bake to death in the sun.  Hello Kitty and the Easter Bunny seem pretty agile so if they do get trapped, I’m sure all will be rescued.  Plus, Littlest Spawn is an animal lover.


The following pictures may be disturbing to some of my readers.  Parental guidance is required.

The carnage may only be properly described with pictures….Daddy #1 fought the hardest….he was the first to go over….


After Daddy #1 was out of the way, all of the parental figures were ‘dealt with’ in a similar manner…..


Take note of Pinkilicious cheering – she’s an Evil Little Bag.  And the toddlers are full of happy “I tossed my parents over the railing” smiles.  I’m fairly certain Evil American Girl Doll’s hair grows more poofy with each kill.

So watch out parental figure dolls.  You’ve seen what can happen with the spawn rule the doll house.

Just in case you’re wondering…Littlest Spawn and I had a belly busting laughing time tossing those parents over the edge.  Then the Little People ambulance came to rescue them…and bury them in the doll box.  Never to be heard from again.  Until she wants to play with them.

EJ out – to borrow Eldest Spawn’s snowboard without his permission.  We have fresh powder….can’t miss this opportunity!  My board is unavailable at this time so…..lucky for me he’s about the same height as me!!!!  His stance is wider, but I’ll live…and have fun!  Bawahahaha!

Take a minute and help me out!  Evil Joy has slipped to #34 in the Humor Blogs category – #34!!?!?!?!?!?  I was in the top 10 for a long time.  I need to get back there.  I want to get back…Please help me get back there!!!  Click on the flashing banner below.  I’m going to put the juggling lady back because it seems more IN YOUR FACE PLEASE VOTE FOR ME than the flashing banner.  Look for her return.  But in the mean time, click THE BANNER!  PLEASE!!!


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