Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

Tag: Wisconsin

Eldest Spawn’s Viking Room!

Evil Joy here with a post on my Eldest Spawn, his room, and fear for your vision.

So…Eldest Spawn (here forward known as ES in this post….or I suppose as I call him George all the time – even though none of his names – first middle or last – are George or any variation there of…) was at BoyScout camp Sunday through Friday afternoon.  The minute he left, I started cleaning, prepping, and taping his room.  Dr. Evil went out and bought paint.  

When ES turned 11 in 2011 – we got him a new bedspread, sheets, and curtains.  Not very fun for a kid, but all prior mentioned items are Minnesota Vikings Themed…..so sort of cool….he was happy anyway.  Then as Dr. Evil was earning his degree over Christmas time and someone got him a Vikings Pillow pet, Vikings Phiten, and various Vikings clothing.  So he’s all tricked out…..(we have awesome friends and family…..so very blessed).

Dr. Evil went all crazy with the paint colors…in his words, “If we’re going Vikings, we’re going Vikings.”  Hence the paint colors names’ – Viking Yellow, Viking Purple.  Evil Yikes…..

And I went all crazy with the stripes…..

Shade your eyes, use caution.  The colors are bright…and to many who live in our state, offensive……



I busted to get everything all done before he arrived home.  

I.Made.It.  Barely……

And being the ES he is, he was Evil Stinky, Evil Tired, and Evil Headachy from BoyScout camp.  His response…

“Cool.  Can I take a shower and nap now?”

Grrrrrrrrr…I may complain about my Girly Spawn, but they know how to have a stellar reaction.  

He does in fact like it, but in his pre-teen, subdued boy way.  And he gave me an extra hug.  

We’re cool.
















EJ out – to make an appointment to replace ES glasses, now residing at the bottom of a lake at BoyScout camp.

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Evil Fibbing…..

Evil Joy here with a post on silliness, fun, and Evil Joy Speaking Loudly.

Yesterday was a good day.  We got to the Y while Eldest Spawn was at Raider Elite.  Got home.  Cleaned up the house.

The Spawn didn’t run fast enough or hide quickly enough to evade what they term Evil Whole House Pick Up.  I call it – Mom Is Sick Of Doing This All Herself and You Made The  Messes (or Atleast Some Of Them (as I’m sure to be argued with “I didn’t do that!”)) SO GET OUT HERE AND HELP ME!

At the completion of Evil Whole House Pick Up, Spawn went outside to play.  Mid afternoon I called them in for a break from the heat and to rest up for ball.

Eldest Spawn – he and the couch are friends.  He and his iPod are friends.  They were all friendly with each other, no problem.

Female Spawn….well…they were on Evil Silly Mode yesterday.  Now, I love Silly Mode.  It only becomes Evil Silly Mode when they destroy and then EVIL FIB about cleaning up said Evil Silly Mode Messes.  Then Evil Joy must speak, and Evil Joy will speak loudly if necessary.

But their giggles, uncontrollable from the sounds of it…..Love.That.

Here’s what they were up to :





And yes, the bulk of their Spawn ‘bodies’ is made up of some of the blankets we own.  Only some.  (Which means we will be donating several as the cold season approaches.)  Additional ‘body bulking’ items included, but were not limited to :

1. Eldest Female Spawn’s robe

2. Middle Female Spawn’s robe

3. Littlest Female Spawn’s robe

4.  Sweaters

5.  Sweatshirts

6.  You get the idea….

Now keep in mind the temps hit near 90 degrees and the humidity was high for us Wisconsin Weenies.  Yet my Female Spawn layer themselves in sweat producing layers and have the best time of their lives…….until……

We got home from ball in shifts.  Eldest Spawn had a game at one location (with me and two youngest Spawn) and Eldest Female Spawn had a game across town.  Now, before we left for ball, I specifically asked, “Did you put the things you were playing with away properly?”  “Yes Mom, of course,” is the answer I received.


Upstairs was trashed.  I was Evil Joy and I was Loud Evil Joy.  Female Spawn knew they were in trouble because there was no whining – just working.  After 20 minutes, order was restored.  Now I’m not a clean house nazi – just ask anyone who knows me – my house is usually messy – with 4 Spawn, a dog, and life – I’m real, we live in our house, messes are made.  But after spending 2 + hours tidying – not actual dirt digging out cleaning – just tidying – I was Evil Annoyed at the mess.

Evil Joy did back off and Mom reappeared.  Stories were read, songs sung, kisses and hugs shared.

Spawn – listen here.  I love that you play and have fun.  It makes my heart sing.

I don’t love when you lie.  It’s wrong.  Don’t. Lie. To. Me.  You will be caught, found out, busted, whatever – it’s best you learn this now when the consequences are small but strong because as you get older ….. I’ll be more Evil if lying occurs.  Just sayin’

EJ out – to do some laundry.  Evil Laundry found while tidying……..

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Evil Chair…Yeah…it’s the Chair…..

Evil Joy here with a post on chairs, feet, stuck feet, and painful release of said stuck foot.

Need I say more?  
Well of course I need say more – it’s meeee!
As if driving to Iowa with Eldest Female Spawn for a weekend of fun taking a turn for not fun wasn’t enough…..Mom of Evil Joy ended up in the hospital with a sore neck.  And no, it’s not because I’m a pain in the neck.  Bite me.
See, I’m going to be a Great Aunt.  Not just a Great Aunt – I’m already that…just ask me…I’ll tell ya!  My Eldest Nephew and his wife are having a baby!!!!!  So I’m going to be a Awesome Great Aunt.  (didn’t want to confuse any of you with saying I’ll be a great Great Aunt….)
And due to becoming said Awesome Great Aunt, attending a baby shower in Iowa is Awesome Evil Fun!  (Shopping for said baby shower even more Awesome Evil Fun!!!!!!)
Evil Silliness led to me running a 5K, attending baseball tournament for Eldest Spawn in our hometown, and then driving 5 hours to Iowa with Eldest Female Spawn.  All in 12 hours.  Tired Evil Joy resulted.  
Then the Evil Sore Neck for Evil Joy’s Mom.  Resulting in Evil Hospital Stay.  Resulting in Evil Joy sitting in my usual not normal fashion – criss cross applesauce, one leg crossed….any which way but the normal way is how I roll.  Resulting in…….
After I was able to have a minute or two with no one in the room but Sleeping Mom of Evil Joy and Evil Joy, I was able to free my Evil Stuck Foot from the Evil Chair Claiming My Foot.  I had to wait until it was just the two of us as Evil Words were bound to escape my mouth as my foot escaped said Evil Chair.
So….Evil Chair.  Bite me.  Wait – you sort of already did that…don’t bite me.  Or anyone else.
Evil Joy – stop getting limbs stuck in places they don’t belong.
Mom of Evil Joy – Get out of the hospital.  Come hang out with Evil Joy.
EJ out – to begin a day of Scattering Joy to those fortunate enough to know me.  Bawhahahahahaha!

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