Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

The Pants That Can Run…On Their Own….

Football season is official over for Eldest Spawn.  They had a great 7th grade year.  I don’t know the overall stats, but the improvement made during the course of the season was impressive.  Eldest Spawn played nearly 80% of every game – he came home tired, bruised, battered, with potentially sprained fingers, and very …. happy.

Eldest Spawn loves football.  I think if it weren’t for snowboarding coming quickly, he would be a little sad.

The last game was yesterday – they got spanked by the opposing team.  I will say in their defense (come on – it’s my spawn – of course there’s an explanation for said spanking) the other team is broken into heavy weight and light weight.  This year we didn’t do that.  So Eldest Spawn’s team (there are two grade 7 teams) got the heavy weights.  There were a couple of man child players – what I call kids who look like they are way too old for their body’s size and shape.

Anyway with the end of the season comes equipment check-in.  Today.  One day after the game.  Because there’s no school after today for the rest of the week.  (Fodder for posts will be in abundance I’m thinking….)

I’ve seen Eldest Spawn’s pants one – ONE – only one time since school started.

The day they were issued.

In August.

Now…October 16th they appear for the second time – I made him remove pads and put them in the machine.  I’ve washed them four times.  They still look like this….image what they looked like the first time through.

One last wash with extra hot water and extra amounts of stain remover.  I’m calling it good.  Not sure if I washed them so much to remove stains…or to remove stink for next kid who is blessed with these pants.  We had some really hot weather beginning of the season.  And he’s my spawn – we are genetically programmed to sweat enough for 5 people.


Do your spawn like to have their uniforms washed more than once a season?


EJ out – to clean the washing machine after having contact with the Evil Pants That Can Run… On Their Own.


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  1. YIKES!!! It must be a boy thing. My girls uniforms go on the floor (God forbid they should remember there’s a perfectly good hamper in each of their rooms) until the next game. Then they go in the gym bag, on their backs and hineys, then back on the floor after the game. It’s a vicious cycle. I would NOT want to be the opposing team when playing my girls, whose uniforms, if given the ball, could score on their own.


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