Evil Joy Speaks

Spawning the next generation of evil genius, one misadventure at a time

What's Feminism?

By definition Feminism :


1. the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
2. (sometimes initial capital letter) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women. ”

Source : Dictionary.com.

Nowhere in the definition of the word feminism does the idea of one gender being better than another gender play out.  Emma Watson spoke as a Goodwill Ambassador for UN Women to the UN General Assembly last week about feminism and how we need to stop equating feminism with man-hating or man-bashing.

I couldn’t agree more.   And why not start here?  At my lair?  With my spawn?

I’ve been guilty of terming some of the chores I do as “Mom Jobs” and others as “Dad Jobs” while in reality we both do all the jobs as needed.  I mow the lawn.  He’s been known to do laundry.  I don’t worry about him handling our spawn while I head out for a night on the town with friends.  He’s half of the parenting structure of our family.  I’m the other half.  Neither is more important than the other.  Given our work schedules some jobs do fall to one or the other of us on occasion.  That doesn’t mean I expect him to take out the garbage anymore than he expects me to have dinner ready when he gets home.  We.  Are.  Equals.

We openly joke around our spawn.  We tease.  But we set the example of being a parent…not being Mom or Dad.  Dad pulls teeth and reads bedtime stories.  Mom sends spawn to Dad to deal with teeth and then reads bedtime stories.  (Yea, I know..teeth – my personal kryptonite…I’m a weenie in the teeth department.)  I love to clean….well I love to have things tidy.  Dr. Evil loves to cook.  We work well together – he cooks, I clean up.  And we equally involve our spawn.  The Eldest is a boy – he gets to mow the lawn because he’s old enough.  As soon as Eldest FEMALE Spawn is a bit older and a bit taller she will also participate in this chore.  All spawn gather the poop of pups in this lair.

My spawn know I worked in a male dominated job before staying home to be Mom.  They know I trained mostly men and worked with mostly men.  They also know I respected and was respected by my co-workers.  They ask about what I did and aren’t focused on the fact I trained on equipment that, at that time, women were not trained on.

I hope by showing our children we are each capable parents and even stronger as a team that they will learn to view people for their qualities and personalities…not their gender.  Equality is a hard fought battle…maybe a little more easily won if we all start with examples at home.  We can teach our children to go into the world and expect equality.  They will find inequality and know they must work for change.  To make it right.

Photo on 9-26-14 at 4.04 PM

SO…..here’s to an awesome weekend full of sun and fun.  Fall colors have arrived to Wisconsin…along with 80 degree temperatures.  Planning on getting out to enjoy it while we can!  Because…”winter is coming”…… And that means…..snowboarding.  CAN’T WAIT!

EJ out – to watch the Homecoming Football Game!


  1. I couldn’t agree more!! Equal is how it should be. I may line up rides for the kids if they are going to be booked, but I’ve never, ever had to worry about writing up lists, making do-ahead meals or planning things out for the times that I’ve been away. I trust him enough to handle things on his own, like a PARENT, not as a dad or a partner, but as a parent.

    Great insights Joy!!

    • Same here- I leave the contact info for playdates etc just because that is something I know that he may not. I never have prepared food or clothing – I just do my thing and he runs the ship! And you nailed it! I trust him as much as I trust me! I loved your post on this topic!!!

  2. Haha I am a weenie about teeth, too! I don’t have kids yet, but I always wonder, when I do, how I am going to handle brushing their teeth when they are too little to do it on their own, because it will gross me out so much! I agree there are no “mom” jobs or “dad” jobs… everyone should pitch in and do what they can do at home, and look for jobs that excite them, not jobs that they feel are appropriate for their gender!

    • The teeth thing….that is one thing I’m such a weenie about!!! I loved my job – I was a technical trainer and I happened to be training on large weapon systems. It was so fun! I hope my son and daughters look for opportunities they find exciting and don’t limit themselves based on preconceived ideas of gender appropriate jobs!!!

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